Oghren: Say, could I ask you a favor?
The Warden: Why not? Everyone else does.
Mike Toreno: We got a problem. I got some guys out in the field need some equipment. If they don't get it, they'll be dead by nightfall.
Carl "C.J." Johnson: Then take it to them.
Toreno: Me take it to them?
C.J.: Yeah, why not?
Toreno: I got five guys watching me all the time. Two in that hill. One over there and two by satellite. If I go my guys and I will be dead. I don't have a death wish. I'm a man of peace, son.
C.J.: Yeah, clearly.
Yahtzee: Oh, yes. This is the mission from the original where the reactor's gonna blow, and the only solution anyone can come up with is to put an ad in the job center and hope someone takes care of it.
Gabriel: "WANTED: Someone to take care of this reactor crisis."
"Truth be told, I am not a particularly bad dude. If ninja rescue is in order, I am not your guy. But playing Bad Dudes has largely hammered this fact home — I am a spectacularly non-bad dude...looking at our nameless narrator, one wonders why he himself is not a bad enough dude to rescue the President. He looks the part. And for that matter, why the fuck isn't he giving me a gun, or perhaps a fighter jet with which to rescue the President. Why am I sent, alone and unarmed, against a horde of ninjas to rescue the President?"