: Say, could I ask you a favor? The Warden
: Why not? Everyone else does.
We got a problem. I got some guys out in the field need some equipment. If they don't get it, they'll be dead by nightfall. Carl "C.J." Johnson
: Then take it to them. Toreno: Me
take it to them
Yeah, why not? Toreno:
I got five guys watching me all the time. Two in that hill. One over there and two by satellite. If I go my guys and I will be dead. I don't have a death wish. I'm a man of peace, son. C.J.
: Yeah, clearly.
Truth be told, I am not a particularly bad dude
. If ninja rescue is in order, I am not your guy. But playing Bad Dudes
has largely hammered this fact home — I am a spectacularly non-bad dude
...looking at our nameless narrator, one wonders why he himself is not a bad enough dude to rescue the President. He looks the part. And for that matter, why the fuck isn't he giving me a gun, or perhaps a fighter jet with which to rescue the President. Why am I sent, alone and unarmed, against a horde of ninjas to rescue the President?
A.I. don't go after collectibles. They usually just stand there staring at you with gormless, uncomprehending eyes
. They were also never programmed to drive, so in the occasional vehicle section if you perhaps would rather take riding shotgun to its literal heart, then fuck you and your haughty airs. The A.I. will pile into the backseat without a word and just look at you like a dog with its leash in its mouth. And as I said, they can't aim for shit.
But after you've single-handedly cleared out an entire room, they'll unfailingly say the one of their four or five endlessly repeated lines
that goes 'You don't have to do this all by yourself, you know!' There is no middle finger big enough!