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Anime and Manga
Nijika: You're in your thirties and you can't sleep without holding onto a stuffed toy!
Seika: I'm only 29!
Seika: I'm only 29!
Officer Jenny: So tell me what you know about this Team Rocket Trio.
Ash: Well, officer, all I know is they're three of the sneakiest, snakey-est, lyingest losers you'll ever meet.
Jessie: Who are you calling losers?!
James: But he's got the rest right.
Ash: Well, officer, all I know is they're three of the sneakiest, snakey-est, lyingest losers you'll ever meet.
Jessie: Who are you calling losers?!
James: But he's got the rest right.
Comic Books
Melissa Coolridge: Sheesh! Forget it. I wouldn't expect an old nerd like you to understand.
Peter Parker: Old?!
Melissa Coolridge: I see you didn't argue with the nerd part.
Peter Parker: Old?!
Peter Parker: Old?!
Melissa Coolridge: I see you didn't argue with the nerd part.
Peter Parker: Old?!
— The Amazing Spider-Man (1999) Vol. 2 #55
Inventor: The Grid's carbon-neutral, non-pollutive, and better yet... it's taken a bunch of useless brats off the streets. We can reduce our carbon footprint and curb overpopulation at the same time! So... what do you think?!
Ms. Marvel: What do I think? I think you're a wannabe evil genius who thinks he's saved the future when really he's just given up on it. I think you're a megalomaniac with some kind of weird Pied Piper complex. I think you're a bird!
Inventor: I AM NOT A BIRD!
Ms. Marvel: What do I think? I think you're a wannabe evil genius who thinks he's saved the future when really he's just given up on it. I think you're a megalomaniac with some kind of weird Pied Piper complex. I think you're a bird!
Inventor: I AM NOT A BIRD!
Student 1: Did you see that new girl Linda Lee?
Student 2: I can't believe how dorky she looks!
Student 3: Her head is totally huge!
Student 4: Almost as big as her ego...
Student 5: Who does she think she is?
Student 6: She looks like some kind of monkey!
Student 7: Goofy.
Student 8: Outta her mind...
Student 9: Her nostrils must be at least a foot in diameter! Like caverns leading to a lost world...
Linda: Okay... For the record, just so everyone knows, I have petite nostrils! They're tiny and cute!
Student 2: I can't believe how dorky she looks!
Student 3: Her head is totally huge!
Student 4: Almost as big as her ego...
Student 5: Who does she think she is?
Student 6: She looks like some kind of monkey!
Student 7: Goofy.
Student 8: Outta her mind...
Student 9: Her nostrils must be at least a foot in diameter! Like caverns leading to a lost world...
Linda: Okay... For the record, just so everyone knows, I have petite nostrils! They're tiny and cute!
Comic Strips
John: I'm spending Friday night with a fat, worthless cat!
Garfield: That fat part was uncalled for.
Garfield: That fat part was uncalled for.
Film — Animation
Mirabel: Some of us have bigger problems, you selfish, entitled princess!
Isabela: Selfish?!
Isabela: Selfish?!
Film — Live-Action
The Dude: Fuck the tournament. Fuck you, Walter.
Walter Sobchak: "Fuck the tournament?"
Walter Sobchak: "Fuck the tournament?"
John Daggett: You dumb bitch.
Catwoman: Nobody ever accused me of being dumb!
Catwoman: Nobody ever accused me of being dumb!
Princess Leia: Why, you stuck-up... half-witted... scruffy-looking... nerf herder!
Han Solo: ...who's "scruffy-looking?"
Han Solo: ...who's "scruffy-looking?"
Phil: You old crook.
Anne: Young crook, please!
Anne: Young crook, please!
Ken: Harry, let's face it. And I'm not being funny. I mean no disrespect, but you're a cunt. You're a cunt now, and you've always been a cunt, and the only thing that's gonna change is that you're gonna become an even bigger cunt. Maybe have some more cunt kids.
Harry: Leave my kids fucking out of it! What have they done?! You fucking retract that bit about my cunt fucking kids!!
Ken: I retract that bit about your cunt fucking kids.
Harry: Insulting my fucking kids?! That's going overboard, mate!
Ken: I retracted it, didn't I? Still leaves you being a cunt.
Harry: Yeah, I fucking got that.
Harry: Leave my kids fucking out of it! What have they done?! You fucking retract that bit about my cunt fucking kids!!
Ken: I retract that bit about your cunt fucking kids.
Harry: Insulting my fucking kids?! That's going overboard, mate!
Ken: I retracted it, didn't I? Still leaves you being a cunt.
Harry: Yeah, I fucking got that.
Roger Murtaugh: See how easy that was? Boom, still alive. Now we question him. You know why we question him? Because I got him in the leg. I didn't shoot him full of holes or try to jump off a building with him.
Martin Riggs: Hey, that's no fair. The building guy lived.
Martin Riggs: Hey, that's no fair. The building guy lived.
Live-Action TV
Beggar: Oh, that's typical of t'Tory trash 'oo live 'round 'ere, innit? Won't even spend a bit of change for someone 'oo's 'ungry and 'omeless. And wha' about a bit of social responsibility? Tight-fisted slag!
Sharon: 'Oo are you callin' a Tory?!
Jesse: Some straight like you, giant stick up his ass, all a sudden at age — what, sixty? He's just gonna break bad?
Walt: I'm fifty.
Walt: I'm fifty.
—Breaking Bad, "Pilot"
Jeff: God's sakes! What did I tell you guys?!
Abed: (imitating Jeff) Oh, for god's sakes, everybody! Do whatever you want! Leave each other alone!
Troy: Whoa! That's a good Jeff! How did you do that?
Abed: 10% Dick Van Dyke, 20% Sam Malone, 40% Zach Braff in Scrubs, and 30% Hilary Swank in Boys Don't Cry.
Jeff: ...Zack Braff?
Abed: Sorry.
Abed: (imitating Jeff) Oh, for god's sakes, everybody! Do whatever you want! Leave each other alone!
Troy: Whoa! That's a good Jeff! How did you do that?
Abed: 10% Dick Van Dyke, 20% Sam Malone, 40% Zach Braff in Scrubs, and 30% Hilary Swank in Boys Don't Cry.
Jeff: ...Zack Braff?
Abed: Sorry.
James May: I believe deep in my heart that I look good in [the Rolls Royce Drophead Coupé] and it suits me because it's stylish and contemporary.
Jeremy Clarkson: Every time I see you those are the words that pop into my head: "stylish" and "contemporary."
James May: Thank you.
Jeremy Clarkson: ...After other words like, for instance, "beige," "Stannah Stairlift," "The War." Can anyone think of any more?... "Homosexual."
[Beat]
James May: I object to the "beige."
Jeremy Clarkson: Every time I see you those are the words that pop into my head: "stylish" and "contemporary."
James May: Thank you.
Jeremy Clarkson: ...After other words like, for instance, "beige," "Stannah Stairlift," "The War." Can anyone think of any more?... "Homosexual."
[Beat]
James May: I object to the "beige."
Radio
"Ghost the Racist Fruitbowl, had a very shiny hambone! Ghost the racist fruitbowl, he is a reptilian! On one foggy Hannukah night, Ghost was beating his son—"
"Wait a minute! Hanukkah night? HANUKKAH NIGHT!?!? YOU STUPID...!"
"Wait a minute! Hanukkah night? HANUKKAH NIGHT!?!? YOU STUPID...!"
—Ghost and an unfortunate caller
Video Games
Chelle: Ugh. I am certain you would be a MOST unruly equine companion.
Mym: Who are you calling an unruly equine?! I am an unruly DRAGON!
Cleo: That's not the part of that statement I thought she'd object to...
Mym: Who are you calling an unruly equine?! I am an unruly DRAGON!
Cleo: That's not the part of that statement I thought she'd object to...
Timmy Turner: Hey you wiener! You don't look so scary from up here! You look like a toy monster!
Mawgu: NOBODY CALLS THE MAWGU A TOY!
Danny Phantom: But apparently, calling him a wiener is okay.
Mawgu: NOBODY CALLS THE MAWGU A TOY!
Danny Phantom: But apparently, calling him a wiener is okay.
Phoenix Wright: ...this witness is a big, fat liar!
April May: F-fat?!
April May: F-fat?!
—Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney, "Turnabout Sisters"
Interviewer: What about this "Gnasty Gnorc" character? Now, I understand he's found a magic spell to turn gems into warriors for his cause.
Lindar: I'll take that question. Gnasty Gnorc is a simple creature.
Gnasty Gnorc: Simple?!
Lindar: He has been contained in a remote world, and is no threat to the Dragon Kingdom.
Gnasty Gnorc: No threat?!
Lindar: Besides, he is ugly!
Gnasty Gnorc: Ugly?! THAT DOES IT!
Lindar: I'll take that question. Gnasty Gnorc is a simple creature.
Gnasty Gnorc: Simple?!
Lindar: He has been contained in a remote world, and is no threat to the Dragon Kingdom.
Gnasty Gnorc: No threat?!
Lindar: Besides, he is ugly!
Gnasty Gnorc: Ugly?! THAT DOES IT!
Web Animation
Cinder: I'm Cinder Fall. This is my associate, Arthur Watts. And these are my disciples, Emerald and Mercury.
Raven: Two children you've tricked into following you, a disgraced Atlesian scientist, and a Fall Maiden with a surname so appropriate she probably picked it herself. Something tells me you've more than a slight case of egomania. Is that about right?
Watts: (Clears his throat) Technically, I was also a doctor, but the rest was spot on.
Raven: Two children you've tricked into following you, a disgraced Atlesian scientist, and a Fall Maiden with a surname so appropriate she probably picked it herself. Something tells me you've more than a slight case of egomania. Is that about right?
Watts: (Clears his throat) Technically, I was also a doctor, but the rest was spot on.
— RWBY, "A Perfect Storm"
Western Animation
Hector: Godbrand, you never met anything you didn't immediately kill, fuck, or make into a boat.
[...]
Godbrand: ...I like boats. I'm a fuckin' Viking! We're s'posed to make boats outta things!
[...]
Godbrand: ...I like boats. I'm a fuckin' Viking! We're s'posed to make boats outta things!
Sting: You're fat, greedy and selfish, Bumble! You only think about yourself!
Bumble: I am not fat!
Bumble: I am not fat!
Roach Coach: I am not just an insect! I am Roach Coach! I am the future ruler of this planet, you stupid biped!
Bubbles: Who you calling a biped?
Bubbles: Who you calling a biped?
Jack: (finding a near-dead villager) Poor unfortunate creature.
Villager: HEY! I'm not poor!
Villager: HEY! I'm not poor!
Ned Flanders: You ugly, hate-filled man!
Moe: Hey! Hey! I may be ugly and hate-filled, but I... um, what was the third thing you said?
Moe: Hey! Hey! I may be ugly and hate-filled, but I... um, what was the third thing you said?
Eeth Koth: Your reputation precedes you, general. The reputation of a coward, and a murderer.
General Grievous: Murderer? Is it murder to rid the galaxy of you Jedi filth?
General Grievous: Murderer? Is it murder to rid the galaxy of you Jedi filth?
Peppermint Larry: Everybody in Stormalong knows you don't have any money.
K'nuckles: Stop lying! Not everybody in Stormalong knows that!
K'nuckles: Stop lying! Not everybody in Stormalong knows that!
Other
"I read in her diary that she thought me 'a talentless gigolo'... in any case, I'm only disturbed if the phrase means that I had no talent as a gigolo. I believe that this is actionable in law even if proof is no longer demonstrable by me in life."
—Gore Vidal on the diaries of Anaïs Nin, Palimpsest
"He called me a rapist and a recluse. I'm not a recluse."
—Mike Tyson
Norman Osborn: (on the phone) Okay, so, once he starts thanking people, we need to steal his fish. His Goldfish. It's gonna, it's gonna be hilarious.
Kingpin: I'm gonna do something to you. I'mma fuck you up. I'mma kill your ass.
Norman Osborn: You can't kill me. Yeah right, you can't kill me, I'm everyone's favorite Spider-Man villain.
Kingpin: That red hair's gonna be covered in your blood after we scalp you.
Norman Osborn: It already is, I've been scalped twice already. You're way behind schedule, Kingpin.
Kingpin: Guess what? Your wig: snatched.
[Norman's smile fades]
Norman Osborn: It's... it's not a wig. It's not a- he knows it's a wig! He knows it's a wig!
Kingpin: I'm gonna do something to you. I'mma fuck you up. I'mma kill your ass.
Norman Osborn: You can't kill me. Yeah right, you can't kill me, I'm everyone's favorite Spider-Man villain.
Kingpin: That red hair's gonna be covered in your blood after we scalp you.
Norman Osborn: It already is, I've been scalped twice already. You're way behind schedule, Kingpin.
Kingpin: Guess what? Your wig: snatched.
[Norman's smile fades]
Norman Osborn: It's... it's not a wig. It's not a- he knows it's a wig! He knows it's a wig!
Momo: Hey, I'm just trying to help the kid out! I don't see you doing anything besides dicking around and buying your Dragon Ball Z figurines off eBay, you FAT. BROWN. DIRTBAG COW!!
Appa: "BROWN!?" That's IT!!
Appa: "BROWN!?" That's IT!!
— The Ultimate Avatar: The Last Airbender Recap Cartoon - BOOK 3
Guy: That motherfucking cop has driven past here twice in the last fifteen minutes.
Cop (on car's loudspeaker): I'm not a motherfucker.
Cop (on car's loudspeaker): I'm not a motherfucker.
