"Alright, film students, are you ready? IT WAS HIS SLED! HAHAHAHA! Now you don't have to sit there for three hours!"
"...and Rosebud was just a sled. Oh no, I didn't spoil it for you, did I?"
"What?! Gandalf comes back?! Dude, why'd you spoil it?" "Dave, it's been in print for 50 years. It's like me telling you that Hamlet dies at the end of the play." "Hamlet dies!?"
"Spoiler Alert - This article contains spoilers for
Harry Potter (Snape kills Dumbledore),
Star Wars (Darth Vader is Luke's father),
Citizen Kane (it was his sled),
The Sixth Sense (Bruce Willis is a ghost) and the dictionary (zyzzyva)."
"Kong?! You don't want me to spoil Kong, a seventy-year-old movie? There's a statute of limitations on this shit, man.
...Have you seen The Passion yet? Spoiler alert: Jesus dies.
"- So wait!!! The crazy old hobo WAS LUCY!?!?!?!" "- Yes, and Snape kills Dumbledore. Also, Darth Vader is Luke Skywalker's father." "- And, appropriately enough, Soylent Green is people."
What are you watching? Linus:
"Citizen Kane". Lucy:
I've seen it about ten times. Linus:
This is the first time I've ever seen it... Lucy:
"Rosebud" was his sled! Linus:
The greatest murder since Snape killed Dumbledore! Bart:
Aw, I haven't gotten to that part yet! Bob:
It's a four-year-old book. Bart:
I'm a slow reader.
"Is that a spoiler? The story has been out since 490 B.C."