Quotes: It's All About Me

Fiction

"The moment is so fleeting
But our talent is so vast
The so-called stars are hopelessly outclassed"
Commentary! The Musical, "All About Me"

"You think the world revolves around you but it doesn't so, you sit and spin
Baby, someone is crazy and it's you."
Jonathan Coulton, "Someone Is Crazy"

"They said it's you / Who puts the gravity in the ground
They said it's you / Who all the stars revolve around
Scientists were wrong / And you suspected all along it might be true
The world belongs to you""
Jonathan Coulton, "The World Belongs to You"

"Heil myself. Heil to me...
I'm the kraut who's out to change our history.
Heil myself, Raise your hand.
There's no greater dictator in the land!"

SELFISH, adj.

Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.

Black Mage: If you think about it, I'm the victim here.
Thief: How?
Black Mage: I didn't get what I wanted.

Calvin: Our country was founded roughly around 200 B.C.
Ms. Wormwood: 200 B.C.?!
Calvin: "Before Calvin."

"So what if I'm prolonging a war that's causing thousands of innocent victims all around the world and if I'm manipulating other people? As long as it will change the world to suit me, I don't care about the rest."
Wang Liu Mei, Mobile Suit Gundam 00

"Cormac hasn't asked me one single question about myself, no, I've just been treated to A Hundred Great Saves Made by Cormac McLaggen."

Anthony Marston: I've just been thinking — John and Lucy Combes. Must have been a couple of kids I ran over near Cambridge. Beastly bad luck.
Judge Wargrave: For them, or for you?
Anthony Marston: Well, I was thinking — for me — but of course, you're right, sir, it was damned bad luck on them. Of course it was pure accident... I had my license endorsed for a year. Beastly nuisance...

"I don't know how to put this, but I'm kind of a big deal."
Ron Burgandy, Anchorman

"Hey, kids! Did you know what your mommies and daddies gave up so your family could live in Opportunity? Literally nothing! Your family is paid to be here — I'm the one who feeds and protects everyone. Remember: we should all love our parents, but love me more."
Handsome Jack, Borderlands 2

"The definition of the true savage does not concern itself even with how much more he hurts strangers or captives than do the other tribes of men. The definition of the true savage is that he laughs when he hurts you; and howls when you hurt him."

Dan: (while stealing a mummy's artifacts) Hold these.
Chris: Why!?
Dan: Because if I get caught with them, I'll go to jail.
Dan Vs.

"Is there any way this 'collapse of civilization' thing could affect me personally?"

"Don't you care about how I'm feeling?"
Vriska (to Tavros after kidnapping him and tying him to a chair), Don't Leave (Homestuck fanfiction)

Fry: Bender! This has nothing to do with you!
Bender: That's impossible!

"Can't you stop talking about yourself for one second, Alex?"
Jenna, Golden Sun: The Lost Age

"Hego, can we focus here? ON ME!"

"I do like a man who tells you right out he's looking out for himself. Don't we all? I don't trust a man who says he's not."
Kasper Gutman, The Maltese Falcon

"All I wanted to do was make everything better for me! All you had to do was solve a couple hundred simple tests for a few years. And you couldn't even let me have that, could you?"

Noah: You can't defeat me, because I posses the person you care more about than anyone else in the world!
Kaiba: Unless you've somehow kidnapped me without my knowledge, I think that's impossible.

Walter White: Skyler, all the things that I did, you need to understand...
Skyler: If I have to hear, one more time, that you did this for the family—
Walter: I did it for me. I liked it, I was good at it, and I was really...I was alive.

"I think that's half your problem, T — you always think everything that happens is about YOU!"
Julio Scoundrél (to Tarquin), The Order of the Stick

Hi, I'm Julia Roberts. You know, a lot of people died in the tsunami. But don't worry, I didn't, and I'll be here to entertain you and love my life for many, many years to come. Meee. Meee. MEEEEE AH HAHAHAHAHA!
Julia Roberts, Family Guy

All roads lead to...
The best things in life are...
All's well that ends with...
ME!
Gaston, "Me," stage version of Beauty and the Beast

You think I'm self-centered? Me? Me? Me?
Ray Barone, Everybody Loves Raymond

The Coon: It's not my fault you guys turned evil, Kenny.
Mysterion: You are the bad guy, Cartman. You!
The Coon: I'm making the world a better place!
Mysterion: FOR YOU! You're making it a better place for you!
The Coon: (Beat) Riiight. That's what superheroes do.
Conversation between Cartman and Kenny, South Park

Real Life

“Tis not unreasonable for me to prefer the destruction of the whole world to the scratching of my finger.”
David Hume, A Treatise of Human Nature

"Men are not against you; they are merely for themselves."
Gene Fowler

"The swine who stole my dog doesn't realize what he did to me!"

"A man with less self-reflection than Dracula. A man so geocentrically self-centered, he thinks the sun is a stage light constantly searching for his best side. A man so lacking in self-awareness, he's invisible to Zen Buddhists. A man who pushed the limits of assholing harder than Goatse. May I present: Homo Shia."