"Over the past five years at You Are Dumb Dot Net, I have repeatedly claimed to be redefining my personal vision of Hell. And each time, it was mostly true. But from now on, if I ever say that? I'm lying for comedic effect."

Black Mage: (Upon dying and going to hell) Wait, if I did evil, and you guys are evil, then shouldn't you be showering me with rewards and concubines?

The Devil: This is hell. We're big on irony here.

— 8-Bit Theater

But such a talent is worthless in Hell where time doesn't exist. Hell gave me everything I wanted and then changed the rules so that it didn't matter.

— Arloest, Jack

Baby Blue: Don't go easy on these guys, Fyoosh. They deserve to be punished. They're worthless scum and they know it.
Fuchsia: Isn't that punishment enough?
Baby Blue: No. You gotta drive the point home!