"A huge chair is blocking your way."
Now the second rule is if you've got a gigantic flamethrower and your first stage is made outta ice it's gonna melt that shit to the ground. Turn it to a big puddle, it's gonna turn it to a big puddle, real quick! Now I don't see that happenin', so that's a little bit bafflin' and mind confusin'. You got a 50-foot flamethrower and you can't melt through a series of ice blocks, well, sucker punch?
Yahtzee: ...oh, bums. See, this is what it's like being a black man. It's metaphors!
Gabriel: Wouldn't be happening if I was white.
—Let's Drown Out Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, encountering giant red stop signs on all of the city exits
"A fence? Bleak, you ruthless bastard."
"Hey, uh, there's this little wall in my way that I could easily jump over, but it's not giving me, like, the 'jump overing' command. What should I do?"
—Leon Kennedy, Resident Awesome 4
(firing at a chain-link fence) "It's no use! THE BULLETS ARE JUST GOING THROUGH THE HOOOOOLES!"
— Angry Joe , Kickassia
Medibot: "A wall composed entirely of plot."
Kung-Fu Jesus: "The most powerful substance known to video game characters."
Thanks to the searchability of GMail, which I use to backup my site mail, I can easily find that it was on January 6th of this year that a reader named Thomas Savage sent me a note that said, in part:
"... I have noticed some consistancies with all the half life games: you always have to go through incredible odds of alien monsters and potent deathtraps and evil soldiers and treacherous jumps and taxing challenges just to get to the other side of a locked wooden door."
Tim: Now, the facility is surrounded by a two-meter high fence, so we'll have to climb over it.
"Can't get over... Chairs in way... Cool guy with gun, blocked by small folding chairs..."
"Surrounding the compound is a non-electrified three-foot metal fence. This is more than enough to keep anything in the game from getting in or out; robots can't climb. And if I'm wrong, I plan on repeating these as my last words while I hug my own legs at the top of a building being climbed by robots."