History will remember him very well in terms of his contribution as a footballer. He'll also be seen as petulant, egotistical and stubborn but he's been a wonderful player.
— Andy Mitten, fanzine editor, on Cristiano Ronaldo's record breaking $130m transfer from Manchester United to Real Madrid
The end result was: I decided I could write something better than anything out there in two weeks... and I was right.
— Linus Torvalds, Google tech talk on git (around 12:10)
You hear the one about the fella who died, went to the pearly gates? St. Peter let him in. Sees a guy in a suit making a closing argument. Says, 'Who's that?' St. Peter says, 'Oh, that's God. Thinks he's Denny Crane.
—Denny Crane, Boston Legal
Every single one of those correspondents received a detailed response from us explaining why they were mistaken. To date, we haven't received a single apology.
I went up to Prince and said, "I'm a big fan of your stuff," and he looked at me and just walked off... left me standing there like a twat. He's a prat, but he's a clever prat.
Leonard: We think we can help you with your stage fright.
Sheldon: Oh, I doubt that. I haven't figured out a way, and I'm much smarter than all of you.
Penny: Yes, but you're not smarter than all of us put together.
Sheldon: Oh, I'm sorry, that is what I meant.
Imagine the worst barroom know-it-all you've ever met, who really does, and is cursed with a tourettes-like compulsion to spill anything relevant on any topic that comes up, and you're about halfway there.
—Ciaphas Cain: Hero of the Imperium, on Caractacus Mott
"Try not to let [my] brilliance overwhelm you."
— Kid Flash, Young Justice
"Dear God. What is it like in your funny little brains? It must be so boring!"
"This is just friendly advice. But give Sherlock five minutes on your crime scene and listen to everything he has to say. And as far as possible, try not to punch him."
— Lestrade, Sherlock, "A Scandal in Belgravia"
I'd say you're a genius, but I'm in the room.
— The Doctor, Doctor Who
"If ya done it, it ain't braggin'."
— Walt Whitman
"Have the Q always had an absence of manners, or is it the result of some natural evolutionary process that comes with omnipotence?"
—Tuvok, Star Trek: Voyager
"I'm almost always eventually right."
"I'm a friggin' genius and none of you ever listen to me!"
"Sherman J. Hamster is a genius, and with all that genius comes a great big honkin' ego. His heart's in the right place, but it only stands to reason he'll need to show off his brain once in a while. I mean, it's like having a new car, and you've just got to show it off to your friends because you know thleat they don't have this car."