History Quotes / InsaneTrollLogic

->''She {Ashley) only won because I lost. That's not a winner.''

->'''First charity collector''': Well, I—

-->--[[Literature/NineteenEightyFour 1984]]

->Readers of Dec's material will no doubt have noticed that two recurring themes are those of [[RoseTintedNarrative glorification]] and [[{{Demonization}} vilification]]. According to Dec, [[CulturalPosturing Polish people and their culture are superior to all others and single-handedly responsible for creating civilization as we know it]]. Jews, on the other hand, are endlessly vilified by Francis and described as being directly controlled by the Computer God in [[AncientConspiracy its attempts to destroy Slovenic-Polish civilization]]. The advent of WWII must therefore have added more fuel to Dec's fire. Imagine: here was this unimaginably evil enemy (the Nazis, led by Adolf Hitler) that actually was planning to completely exterminate the Polish people and culture. Seen from this perspective, it is understandable why Dec would have fervently hated the Nazis with a burning passion that likely culminated in him volunteering for military service during WWII.\\
However, the Nazi rise to power and crimes against the Polish people also presented a paradox for Dec's [[SanitySlippage addled mind]], resulting in apparent mental stress giving rise to what can best be described as a conflict of interests. On one hand, the Nazis did invade Poland to commit atrocities against its people, but on the other hand they also committed the same horrific acts against the Jews! Dec seemingly could not reconcile this conflict. Seeing as how he perceived the Jews as "in" on the conspiracy against him, he was unable to accept them as victims of the Nazi Holocaust. The result, as visible throughout this rant, was that his hatred and paranoia combined to meld his two most hated enemies together; resulting in a weird amalgamation between the two. The result? [[OxymoronicBeing Nazi Jews]], of course! It hurts my brain just thinking of how this line of reasoning is even possible.
-->-- '''zer0''', [[http://www.bentoandstarchky.com/dec/nazijewmany.htm on]] Creator/FrancisEDec's bizarre "Nazi Jewmany" nonsense

->'''K. Rool''': Soooo...[Cranky]'s a monkey.\\
'''Klumph''': Oh, you don't say! What gave it away?\\
'''K. Rool''': It was his lack of sandals! Everyone knows monkeys don't wear sandals.\\
'''Cranky''': [[LampshadeHanging You are a whole lot dumber than you look.]]
-->-- ''WebVideo/UncleAl's [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5gvPvQP5B9k Donkey Kong Country Abridged: Episode 2 - Ape Fool Young]]''

->I can see the comments section filling up with edgy atheists and skeptics already. Listen, at first I also didn't believe Mr. Camping, I get it. There have been many people to predict [[CaughtUpInTheRapture the Rapture]] before and get it wrong. But wait, give him a chance. This time, it's different. Camping is coming at you with irrefutable evidence of the Rapture because he's using... MATH.\\
[-[[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer This is not just a bit. This is actually how he calculated the Rapture.]]-]\\
So, UsefulNotes/{{Jesus}} died on April 1st, 33 AD. Now take the year 2011 - that's a difference of 1978. We times that by 365.2422, and that gives you the number of days it's been... since ''that'', including leap years. That equals 722,449 - now keep that number in mind, keep it in your head. "Atonement," now that's five, "Completeness," that's ten, and "Heaven" is seventeen. Now we times them all together and look at this - 850. Then we square that, and it's 722,500, a difference of 51 [from 722,449]. 51 ''days'' plus April 1st, 2011 equals May 21st, 2011!\\
And needless to say, his skeptics were left ''destroyed'' by facts and logic! [-Even the ones who pointed out that he predicted the Rapture once ''before'' in 1994, in a Louis Theroux documentary.-]
-->-- '''WebVideo/InternetHistorian''', "Going Camping at the End of the World"

->Obviously, THE SEAHAWKS HAVE MADE AN UNHOLY BLOOD PACT WITH SATAN TO SACRIFICE CELEBRITY DEATHS FOR VICTORIES.
-->-- ''Website/NflQuarterbacksOnFacebook'': 2014 Week 1

->Science spelled backwards is "ecneics". An ecneice was a device [[ArtisticLicenseReligion used by #pagans]] to summon [[RougeAnglesOfSatin Satin]] himself to [[PerfectlyCromulentWord brianwash]] children and [[ForcedTransformation turn them into literal sheep]]! These pagans were called "syantasts". Today's "scientists" use ecneics (science) to brianwash [[{{Malaproper}} are]] kids. #maga #flatearth
-->-- '''Woke Warrior''', Twitter

-> '''Ms. Siti''': Jianhao, your answer to a simple question like one plus one was seven. How can that be possibly correct?
-> '''Jianhao''': Well, you see, if you add one bunny with another bunny and they have, what, five children? That makes seven bunnies. So one plus one equals seven.
-->-- ''WebVideo/TitanAcademy''

->I was thinking about why so many in the radical left participate in "speedrunning". The reason is the left's lack of work ethic ('go fast' rather than 'do it right') and, in a Petersonian sense, to elevate alternative sexual archetypes in the marketplace ('fastest mario'). Obviously, there are exceptions to this and some people more in the center or right also "speedrun". However, they more than sufficient to prove the rule, rather than contrast it. Consider how woke GDQ has been, almost since the very beginning. Your eyes will start to open. Returning to the topic of the work ethic... A "speedrunner" may well spend hours a day at their craft, but this is ultimately a meaningless exercise, since they will ultimately accomplish exactly that which is done in less collective time by a casual player. This is thus a waste of effort on the behalf of the "speedrunner". Put more simply, they are spending their work effort on something that someone else has already done (and done in a way deemed 'correct' by the creator of the artwork). Why do they do this? The answer is quite obvious if you think about it. The goal is the illusion of speed and the desire (SUBCONSCIOUS) to promote radical leftist, borderline Communist ideals of how easy work is. Everyone always says that "speedruns" look easy. That is part of the aesthetic. Think about the phrase "fully automated luxury Communism" in the context of "speedrunning" and I strongly suspect that things will start to 'click' in your mind. What happens to the individual in this? Individual accomplishment in "speedrunning" is simply waiting for another person to steal your techniques in order to defeat you. Where is something like "intellectual property" or "patent" in this necessarily communitarian process? Now, as to the sexual archetype model and 'speedrunning' generally... If you have any passing familiarity with Jordan Peterson's broader oeuvre and of Jungian psychology, you likely already know where I am going with this. However, I will say more for the uninitiated. Keep this passage from Maps of Meaning (91) in mind: "The Archetypal Son... continually reconstructs defined territory, as a consequence of the 'assimilation' of the unknown [as a consequence of 'incestuous' (that is, 'sexual' – read creative) union with the Great Mother]" In other words, there is a connection between 'sexuality' and creativity that we see throughout time (as Peterson points out with Tiamat and other examples). In the sexual marketplace, which archetypes are simultaneously deemed the most creative and valued the highest? The answer is obviously entrepreneurs like Elon Musk and others. Given that we evolved and each thing we do must have an evolutionary purpose (OR CAUSE), what archetype is the 'speedrunner' engaged in, who is accomplishing nothing new? They are aiming to make a new sexual archetype, based upon 'speed' rather than 'doing things right' and refuse ownership of what few innovations they can provide to their own scene, denying creativity within their very own sexual archetype. This is necessarily leftist. The obvious protest to this would be the 'glitchless 100% run', which in many ways does aim to play the game 'as intended' but seems to simply add the element of 'speed' to the equation. This objection is ultimately meaningless when one considers how long a game is intended to be played, in net, by the creators, even when under '100%' conditions. There is still time and effort wasted for no reason other than the ones I proposed above. By now, I am sure that I have bothered a number of you and rustled quite a few of your feathers. I am not saying that 'speedrunning' is bad, but rather that, thinking about the topic philosophically, there are dangerous elements within it. That is all.
-->-- '''Conrad Golden''', Twitter

-> ''Hear me out, hear me out. What if we played with... no goalkeeper?''
-->-- '''Pep Guardiola''', ''WebAnimation/{{The Champions|2018}}''

->'''Steve''': You have redeemed the cards in your own fucking account! Do you understand that?\\
'''Kitboga''': Steve, Steve. What are you talking about, honey? What are you talking about?\\
'''Steve''': You have redeemed the cards in your own fucking account! [[SuddenlyShouting I DON'T GET IT!]] I supposed to redeem those cards in my computer but you redeemed those cards in your own computer and you took your money back!!! Why the hell were you typing the numbers in the computer?!? You should have-\\
'''Kitboga''': Steve, calm down. Calm down. Tell me.\\
'''Steve''': I was telling you, I was requesting you, I was pleading you, not to do that. But you were not listening to me! WHY?
-->-- ''WebVideo/{{Kitboga}}'', the saga of Steve the Angriest Scammer after Kitboga redeems the Google Play cards, ruining the scam.

[[/folder]]

[[folder:Western Animation]]
->''Guns don't kill people. People kill people. Guns defend people against people with smaller guns.''
-->-- '''Stan Smith''', ''WesternAnimation/AmericanDad'', "Stannie Get Your Gun"

'''Mr. [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin Horse]]:''' Psychologist?! ''Are you nuts?!'' '''''[[SurprisinglyRealisticOutcome I'm a horse!]]'''''

-> '''[[OmnicidalManiac Harry Potter:]]''' Gumbledorp, if you don't stop, we'll starve, and no one will be around to kill everyone in the universe if we get around to bringing everyone back to life after we killed them.
-->-- ''Fanfic/ThirtyHs''

-->-- '''Averroe's search''', ''Creator/JorgeLuisBorges''

->''"What can you do, thought Winston, against the lunatic who is more intelligent than yourself, who gives your arguments a fair hearing and then simply persists in his lunacy?"''

->''"If you argue with a madman, it is extremely probable that you will get the worst of it; for in many ways his mind moves all the quicker for not being delayed by things that go with good judgment. He is not hampered by a sense of humour or by clarity, or by the dumb certainties of experience. He is the more logical for losing certain sane affections. Indeed, the common phrase for insanity is in this respect a misleading one. The madman is not the man who has lost his reason. The madman is the man who has lost everything except his reason."''

-> It seemed to me that if humanoids eat chicken, then obviously they'd eat their own species. Otherwise, they'd just be picking on the chickens.

-> Hear me out, hear me out. What if we played with... no goalkeeper?

-->-- ''WebVideo/Kitboga'', the saga of Steve the Angriest Scammer after Kitboga redeems the Google Play cards, ruining the scam.

->Guns don't kill people. People kill people. Guns defend people against people with smaller guns.

-->-- '''WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants,''' "New Student Starfish"

'''Franchise/SpiderMan:''' Sure! How about a close-up? ''(hits Venom with a reporter's camera and escapes)''\\

->''"You know, studies show that keeping a ladder inside the house is more dangerous than a loaded gun. That's why I own ten guns — in case some ''maniac'' tries to sneak in with a ladder!"''

->'''Dib:''' STOP! WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME!
->'''Zim:''' YOU'RE UGLY WHEN YOU LIE, DIB!
->'''Dib:''' I'M NOT LYING!
->'''Zim:''' THEN, WHY ARE YOU UGLY!?

->'''Patrick:''' Yeah, well, I'd hate you even if I didn't hate you. That's how much I hate you.

[[folder: Real Life]]

->"Ma'am, trying to have a conversation with you would be like trying to argue with a dining room table."
-->-- Former U.S. representative Barney Frank.

->"Mr. Speaker, it is impossible I could have been in two places at once, unless I were a bird.
-->-- Sir Boyle Roche, explaining why he missed a Parliament meeting.

->"Never believe that anti-Semites are completely unaware of the absurdity of their replies. They know that their remarks are frivolous, open to challenge. But they are amusing themselves, for it is their adversary who is obliged to use words responsibly, since he believes in words."
-->-- '''Creator/JeanPaulSartre'''
[[/folder]]

->''"Like I said, they're'' stupid''. Every bit the stubborn, ignorant 'all pirates are evil' stance that Nami had before she joined, while ''also'' not trusting the World Government, while'' also ''adopting their 'tar them with the same brush' attitude. The doublethink is actually kind of impressive."

-->--'''[[FutureBadass Wyvern]]''' describing the Bleeding Heart Bounty Hunters, ''Fanfic/ThisBites''

->''"Like I said, they're'' stupid''. Every bit the stubborn, ignorant 'all pirates are evil' stance that Nami had before she joined, while ''also'' not trusting the World Government, while ''also'' adopting their 'tar them with the same brush' attitude. The doublethink is actually kind of impressive."