"Waitwaitwait! So Tom Paris not only flies the ship, the most important shuttle missions, is the field medic/assistant to the Doctor, has 24th century lockpicking ability; he's also a commando. Oh and let's not forget, he once designed an engine that went to infinity. And this is the guy Starfleet doesn't want, heh?"
"So part-time adventurer and full-time cockend Nathan Drake returns, still just as much the lovable flawed hero for today's cynical age. And when I say "flawed" I mean that very particular brand of Hollywood flawed; that is to say, not flawed at all. Like the supermodel who is considered ugly because she wears a baggy sweater, Drake is generically handsome beneath his strategically placed grime and inexplicably green designer stubble, supernaturally athletic despite his ceaseless grunts of exertion and retarded, gibbon arm-flailing jumping technique, and constantly spouts appalling wit and panicky self-effacements in the hope that you don't notice that he is a remorseless career thief who kills more foreigners than malaria—although having rid the world of blacks, Asians and Latinos in the last game he has now moved on to non-American whites. "
"Symphony of the Night's instruction manual and cutscenes tell us that Alucard is Dracula's son — and therefore a vampire — but virtually nothing occurs to support this while the player is holding the controller. Alucard might just as well be some kind of wizard, or otherwise fueled entirely by video game bishygoff magic. We are told that he feels a great deal of personal conflict about his vampiric nature, but this stuff is limited strictly to Symphony's non-interactive blah blah blah I've come to put an end to this blah segments. When it's game on, the player experiences none of this conflict himself, nor is he ever made aware of the subject of Alucard's internal struggle. Moreover, Alucard is popularly regarded as an anti-hero, which is a little silly and not at all correct. So he is a vampire (ostensibly, anyway) fighting against demons. Okay. Do any of his actions in the game or his interactions with the rest of Symphony's cast suggest any conspicuous flaws in his character? Does he commit unjust acts for the sake of a greater good? Can he be best defined by a striking deficiency of one primary virtue, or otherwise by some fatal moral failing? Or is he really just a typical goodguy hero who happens to dress like a badguy villain? "
"What do you mean, you don't belong? You're incredible! You see better than how most people can see! In fact, are you even blind?"