History Quotes / ImAManICantHelpIt

-->-- ''Series/{{Castle}}''

->'''Chris''': Also, while it’s not the movie’s fault, shame on Chris Sims and Matt Wilson for objectifying Creator/JenniferConnelly in their review. Honestly, show some professionalism, guys.\\

->'''Rick Castle:''' ''([[EatingTheEyeCandy stops and stares after woman leaving a plastic surgeon's office in a tight dress]])''

->He never even got to have sex with his mistress! That's what kills me. When you tweet your dick at people, publicly humiliate your wife, resign from Congress in disgrace, then ''continue'' to sext with other women—even as you're trying to resurrect your political career—you should at least get to consummate the deal with the future Vivid Video contract worker on the other end of the line. Anthony Weiner happily risked it all just to ''ask'' a total stranger to gag on his cock. He's the saddest lecher in American politics, and that's saying something, because they're ''all'' lechers.

->Ben Stein, who the lowbrow among us will recognize as the eyedrop shilling 'Bueller.... Bueller....' guy from ''Ferris Beuller's Day Off'' and the nerds will recognize as the conservative thought-generator and ''American Spectator'' senior editor, has penned an incredibly bizarre stream of consciousness essay on how he is basically a slave to his dick and can't stop being tempted to give beautiful women who are not his wife money. This essay was printed in a magazine. Ben Stein is a caricature of a hapless rich guy being duped by beautiful women in a Creator/MarilynMonroe movie.

'''Frasier:''' How can we possibly use sex to get what we want?! Sex '''is''' what we want!

->I knew Niecy Nash was in ''{{Getting On}}'', ''[[{{Series/Reno911}} Reno 9-11]]'', ''CleanHouse'', ''The Soul Man'', ''Hair Show'' and CookiesFortune, but I had no idea she [[KnowNothingKnowItAll had a PhD in couples therapy]]. I mean, that’s why someone gave her money to write a book about marriage and relationships, right? Niecy has a book out called ''It’s Hard To Fight Naked'' and while talking about it with ''Playboy'', she said that men are simpletons who are happy as long as they have a hot meal in their mouth and a hot mouth on their dick.\\\

-->--'''Chris Sims''' and '''Matt Wilson''' [[http://comicsalliance.com/comicsalliance-reviews-the-rocketeer-1991-part-two/ on]] ''Film/TheRocketeer''

->'''Daphne:''' It's not like men have never used sex to get what they want.
->'''Frasier:''' How can we possibly use sex to get what we want?! Sex '''is''' what we want!

->'''Chris''': Also, while it’s not the movie’s fault, shame on Chris Sims and Matt Wilson for objectifying JenniferConnelly in their review. Honestly, show some professionalism, guys.
->'''Matt''': What a couple of clowns.

->''"The look on Mulder’s face when Bambi suggests that UFO sightings are [[WeirdnessCensor swarms of insects]] is priceless; had this been Scully he would have raged at her for making such an outrageous suggestion but because Bambi is a hottie, he looks absorbed by her explanation, nodding his head like a puppy dog. In a teasing line, he says that he finds her scientific detachment quite refreshing when it is the very thing about Scully [[HypocriticalHumor that drives him nuts]] (he also tells his partner to feck off when he is in the middle of flirting with this buxom etymologist)...The way she talks to Bambi (‘this is no place for an etymologist’) proves hilariously that women do suffer the ‘mine is bigger than yours’ syndrome too."''

->''"Ben Stein, who the lowbrow among us will recognize as the eyedrop shilling 'Bueller.... Bueller....' guy from ''Ferris Beuller's Day Off'' and the nerds will recognize as the conservative thought-generator and ''American Spectator'' senior editor, has penned an incredibly bizarre stream of consciousness essay on how he is basically a slave to his dick and can't stop being tempted to give beautiful women who are not his wife money. This essay was printed in a magazine. Ben Stein is a caricature of a hapless rich guy being duped by beautiful women in a MarilynMonroe movie."''

->'''Daphne:''' It's not like men have never used sex to get what they want.\\
'''Frasier:''' How can we possibly use sex to get what we want?! Sex '''is''' what we want!

->'''Chris''': Also, while it’s not the movie’s fault, shame on Chris Sims and Matt Wilson for objectifying JenniferConnelly in their review. Honestly, show some professionalism, guys.\\
'''Matt''': What a couple of clowns.

->''"When I matriculated to Hobart in the fall of 2006, part of my orientation was a sexual assault prevention program. It involved me and like six other dudes from my floor going into a room and being told by a fellow student, 'Don't fuck crazy, they'll accuse you of rape.' There was [[BlahBlahBlah some other stuff]] he mentioned about how sexual assault is, like, super not cool, but that was the line that stuck with me the most and made the most sense, because it made me feel like the real concern was that I could be a victim. 'Finally,' I thought, 'Someone who acknowledges me! [[MoralMyopia The most important person!]] Being accused of rape is the worst thing involving rape that could happen to someone!'"''
-->--'''[[http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-uncomfortable-truths-about-rape-college-campuses/ J.F. Sargent]]''', ''{{Website/Cracked}}''

->'''Kate Beckett:''' Ahem. What's the deal with men and boobs, anyway?\\
'''Rick Castle:''' Biological. We can't help it.\\
'''Beckett:''' But doesn't it bother you that they're so obviously not real?\\
'''Castle:''' Santa's not real. We still love opening his presents.
-->-- "A Death in the Family", ''Series/{{Castle}}''