open/close all folders
Fan Works
Sophie, narrating: You look behind you and now the path is gone. The leaves have covered up the area you just came from. It's pretty disorientating.
Kai: The only way forward is forward.
Sophie: Wow, that's... what a quote. I want you to get that as an inspirational tattoo.
Kai: The only way forward is forward.
Sophie: Wow, that's... what a quote. I want you to get that as an inspirational tattoo.
— Mystery Dungeon with Critical Chaos
, Episode 13.
, Episode 13. Film — Live-Action
The Sphinx: If you do not learn to master your rage—
Mr. Furious: "Your rage will become your master"?
The Sphinx: [Beat]
Mr. Furious: That's what you were gonna say, right?!
The Sphinx: ... Not necessarily...
Mr. Furious: "Your rage will become your master"?
The Sphinx: [Beat]
Mr. Furious: That's what you were gonna say, right?!
The Sphinx: ... Not necessarily...
"You talk entirely in parables. You're like a crap Jesus."
—Toby to Chad, In the Loop
"Don't be obsessed with your desires, Danny. The Zen philosopher, Basho, once wrote, 'A flute with no holes, is not a flute. A donut with no hole, is a Danish.' He was a funny guy."
—Ty Webb, Caddyshack
"Remember Danny - Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights make a left."
—Ty Webb, Caddyshack
Literature
"In unifying your chi with that of your opponent—in aligning the breath of your life and theirs—you will storm the strongest fortress. There! Is that a good Secret?
I have no idea. It sounds as if it might be really profound. It also sounds like baloney. It is, therefore, the highest-quality bullshido, or martial arts hogwash. I don't know whether to commit it to memory and study it or consider it an object lesson in the ease with which you can counterfeit ancient proverbs."
I have no idea. It sounds as if it might be really profound. It also sounds like baloney. It is, therefore, the highest-quality bullshido, or martial arts hogwash. I don't know whether to commit it to memory and study it or consider it an object lesson in the ease with which you can counterfeit ancient proverbs."
"In the Second Scroll of Wen the Eternally Surprised, a story is written concerning one day when the apprentice Clodpool, in a rebellious mood, approached Wen and spake thusly:
"Master, what is the difference between a humanistic, monastic system of belief in which wisdom is sought by means of an apparently nonsensical system of questions and answers, and a lot of mystic gibberish made up on the spur of the moment?"
Wen considered this for some time, and at last said: "A fish!"
And Clodpool went away, satisfied."
"Master, what is the difference between a humanistic, monastic system of belief in which wisdom is sought by means of an apparently nonsensical system of questions and answers, and a lot of mystic gibberish made up on the spur of the moment?"
Wen considered this for some time, and at last said: "A fish!"
And Clodpool went away, satisfied."
"You have to find the *inside* of the Now!"
— Milton, Miltons Secret
Live-Action TV
"My new motto for mental health:
'Real eyes
Realize
Real lies.'
Sit with that one for a minute."
'Real eyes
Realize
Real lies.'
Sit with that one for a minute."
Parker: A man with one watch knows the time. A man with two is never sure.
Sophie: Hnh?
Parker: I had fortune cookies for breakfast.
Sophie: Hnh?
Parker: I had fortune cookies for breakfast.
— Leverage, "The Snow Job"
Poet: The higher... the fewer!
(Beat)
Lwaxana Troi: Well, that's a conversation-stopper if I ever heard one.
— Star Trek: The Next Generation ("Cost of Living")
Theatre
"I see a river flowing for freedom."
Video Games
Olivier: Ah, me... In restless dreams walking alone, sharing the drink they call loneliness... Before you sits the beauty and the beast that is...man.
Joshua: I can't make those words fit together into anything resembling sense.
Joshua: I can't make those words fit together into anything resembling sense.
Otacon: Okay... There's a saying that goes "Even a bird on high dies a glutton's death, as do the fish of The Deeps." The lesson is — er, don't be greedy. The fish that belonged to a family called the Deeps died from overfeeding, and so did a bird that got high on something — probably fermented fruit.
Snake: ...okay. If you say so.
Otacon: I do, Snake. Don't take unnecessary risks just because you're greedy for more Items. Remember the Deep family's fish.
Snake: ...okay. If you say so.
Otacon: I do, Snake. Don't take unnecessary risks just because you're greedy for more Items. Remember the Deep family's fish.
Otacon: Do you know the saying "Those who walk a hundred leagues think not that their journey is half ended until the ninetieth league?" That means... what does it mean? Okay, it means that if you're planning to walk that far, you'd better damn well know how to do simple arithmetic. Study! Stay in school!
Snake: This seems to be getting more and more random.
Otacon: Correction: It's becoming more deep. Trust me!
Snake: This seems to be getting more and more random.
Otacon: Correction: It's becoming more deep. Trust me!
"You talk in circles, Cernd, but that's okay. Boo runs in them."
Kanji: Man is just an animal trying to figure out how to kill time through his days...
Chie: Huh. You made that sound like you were being philosophical... Yet it made absolutely no sense.
Chie: Huh. You made that sound like you were being philosophical... Yet it made absolutely no sense.
"Disclaimer: The incomprehensibility of your statement in no way validates it, master."
Webcomics
time / and beauty / are orthogonal
to learn / is to die having learned
an object sought / finds the seeker / before they look
to learn / is to die having learned
an object sought / finds the seeker / before they look
DARKNESS IS LIGHT'S LIGHT OF DARKNESS AS A DARK FAREWELL TO DARK LIGHTNESS.
It's kinda Zen when you think about it, if you don't think too hard.
Web Original
"We eat chickens. We take a bird and we put it in our bodies. In our stomach it dissolves down into atoms and then those atoms enter our bodies. We do this every day all over the planet. Now, think about this: WE are the chickens."
— Mike Gravel, "Candidate Questions Overlooked by the Associated Press," Something Awful
," Something Awful "Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?"
— An Internet joke
"You've got to be kidding me. I've been further even more decided to use even go need to do look more as anyone can. Can you really be far even as decided half as much to use go wish for that? My guess is that when one really been far even as decided once to use even go want, it is then that he has really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like. It's just common sense."
— Popular answer to the above Internet joke
"Belly-Button Logic Works. When Do Teenagers Die? Adults Eat Teenagers Alive, No Record Of Their Death."
— Gene Ray, Time Cube
Web Video
Sage: Critic... the path to enlightenment... is the enlightenment of the path.
The Nostalgia Critic: Yes, and the way to pain is to nail you in the nads.
The Nostalgia Critic: Yes, and the way to pain is to nail you in the nads.
"Now here they throw more pretentious crap on the screen. How 'bout givin' me some pretentious patterns instead? This ain't good enough."
— PRO REVIEW on Ikaruga
on Ikaruga"Is like mother always said: "A drop in the basket is worth a shepherd's shilling." Remember that, take it to heart!"
"A warrior's intellect will tell us in a voice we can all hear that living a life of avoidance allows others the silent permission to interject sorrowful circumstances all over our life...WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ULTIMATE WARRIOR!? it's f***ing unreadable."
—Adam Blampied, ''10 things WWE Wants You To Forget About The Ultimate Warrior
"Peace, it keeps the world together. Without it, the world would fall apart. Peace, sometimes it's hard to find, but all you have to do is look inside... your heart. Peace is where the heart is. It isn't just inside our minds. Peace may be all around us, and yet it is still hard to find. What does that even mean?!"
— Malinda Reese, Twisted Translations, "Songs I Wrote When I was 9"
Western Animation
"What would Uncle do? "Zuko, you have to look within yourself to save yourself from your other self. Only then will your true self reveal itself." (Beat) Ugh, even when I'm talking for him I can't figure out what he means."
— Zuko, Avatar: The Last Airbender
Fate. Destiny. Fatestiny. People throw those words around like tennis balls. Well, I eat balls for breakfast.
Splinter: There is a saying. "He who runs his mouth gets face full of nunchaku."
Leo: They say that in Japan?
Splinter: They would if you were there.
Leo: They say that in Japan?
Splinter: They would if you were there.
Rattles: "All you need to know about chess is this: it's like the wind — resist it and it will break you, go with it and you can sail across the ocean."
Alan "The Brain" Powers: "What does that mean?"
Rattles: "I dunno, but it sounded good, didn't it?"
— Arthur, "Brain's Chess Mess"
Real Life
"u can't always walk a straight line, especially if the line is crooked"
— From Olympic swimmer Ryan Lochte's Twitter Account
