I used to be pretty. Yeah, but not no more. Look at my nose!
—Swifty, The Venture Bros.
Despite popular belief, Christopher Walken did not come out of his motherís womb as an old man who takes no shit from shit. No, once upon a Three Wolf Moon, Christopher was a young, powdery, hot piece of ass who made the young ladies drop their lace handkerchiefs and reach for the smelling salts. And this picture is proof! I seriously want to print this out in sepia, put in a locket around my neck and run through the wheat fields with a parasol in hand.
—Michael K., "Vintage Christopher Walken"
I havenít seen Star Wars: The Force Awakens because Iím too busy working my way through my annual Catwalk marathon. But apparently one of the things fans are getting their banthas in a twist about is that (SPOILER ALERT!!!) Princess Leia no longer looks like the Princess Leia from 32 years ago. Maybe Princess Leiaís face looks different because Luke keeps using the last of her La Mer and replacing it with some cheap shit from the Galactic Empireís version of CVS. Or maybe itís because Carrie Fisher is 59-years-old and we should all lay the fuck off.... Really though, what were they expecting? A 30-years-old Princess Leia to show up with her face pulled tighter than BB-8ís ball?
—DListed, "Carrie Fisher Would Like You To Shut Up About How She Looks In The New Star Wars"'
bubblelumps: was voldemort a virgin
frankienathanieljonas: #did you see him in 5th year? #he wasnt a virgin
letmusicsetyoufree: Imagine being the chick to do the frick frack with the Dark Lord Voldy.
capslockapocalypse: TUMBLR DOT COM: WHERE WE CAN DISCUSS HAVING SEX WITH VOLDEMORT BUT WE CAN'T ACTUALLY SAY THE WORD SEX
"Oh, I know I'm not a pretty birdie, but I used to be quite a looker. A star."
Joe Stalin in his twenties (we shit you not)