Quotes / I Was Quite a Looker

I used to be pretty. Yeah, but not no more. Look at my nose!
Swifty, The Venture Bros.

Despite popular belief, Christopher Walken did not come out of his motherís womb as an old man who takes no shit from shit. No, once upon a Three Wolf Moon, Christopher was a young, powdery, hot piece of ass who made the young ladies drop their lace handkerchiefs and reach for the smelling salts. And this picture is proof! I seriously want to print this out in sepia, put in a locket around my neck and run through the wheat fields with a parasol in hand.

I havenít seen Star Wars: The Force Awakens because Iím too busy working my way through my annual Catwalk marathon. But apparently one of the things fans are getting their banthas in a twist about is that (SPOILER ALERT!!!) Princess Leia no longer looks like the Princess Leia from 32 years ago. Maybe Princess Leiaís face looks different because Luke keeps using the last of her La Mer and replacing it with some cheap shit from the Galactic Empireís version of CVS. Or maybe itís because Carrie Fisher is 59-years-old and we should all lay the fuck off.... Really though, what were they expecting? A 30-years-old Princess Leia to show up with her face pulled tighter than BB-8ís ball?
DListed, "Carrie Fisher Would Like You To Shut Up About How She Looks In The New Star Wars"'

bubblelumps: was voldemort a virgin
frankienathanieljonas: #did you see him in 5th year? #he wasnt a virgin
letmusicsetyoufree: Imagine being the chick to do the frick frack with the Dark Lord Voldy.
capslockapocalypse: TUMBLR DOT COM: WHERE WE CAN DISCUSS HAVING SEX WITH VOLDEMORT BUT WE CAN'T ACTUALLY SAY THE WORD SEX
itseasytoremember: doing the do with you know who
Tumblr on Lord Voldemort from Harry Potter

"Oh, I know I'm not a pretty birdie, but I used to be quite a looker. A star."
Nigel, right before his Villain Song in Rio

Joe Stalin in his twenties (we shit you not)
Rational Wiki in their article about Josef Stalin, referring to this picture

Riley: [gestures to a photo] Is that you?
Old Man of Hoy: Handsome bugger, eh? Where'd it all go?
Sense8

Homer: Dad, I need your help.
Abe: Oh, why'd you come to me? I don't know anything. I used to get by on my looks, but now they're gone! Withered away like an old piece of fruit!
Homer: Are you done?
Abe: Not yet. I was once voted the handsomest boy in Albany, New York!

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Quotes/IWasQuiteaLooker