Random

Quotes: I Just Shot Marvin in the Face

A youth who can't hit a cathedral at thirty yards with a Gatling gun in three quarters of an hour, can take up an old empty musket and bag his grandmother every time, at a hundred. Think what Waterloo would have been if one of the armies had been boys armed with old muskets supposed not to be loaded, and the other army had been composed of their female relations.

Cleaning my gun with the safety off, safety off, safety off,
cleaning my gun with the safety off
on a cold and frosty [BANG!]

Rochelle: So what do you think is going to kill us? Gators, snakes, bugs, or mud people?
Nick: You're forgetting one thing — from the way we're shooting? Each other.

Might I suggest engaging the safety, so as not to kill any more troops?

Josh... I'm impressed you did this, you're amazing for just making this trip. But you don't know what you're doing with that thing. And I think there's a one percent chance you're going to actually need the guns and a ninety-nine percent chance that a stray cat is going to jump out of the shadows and you're going to shoot each other. And me.

Humbert: A gun. You should be careful of those things.
Charlotte: It's not loaded.
Humbert: That's what they all say: "I didn't know it was loaded."

Geoff: "What's going on?!"
Michael: "Bravo One and Bravo Two are down, we have lost Team Bravo! Something happened to Bravo One, and he, and he must've jumped in front of me, and it definitely was not my fault!"
[...]
Ray: "YOU SHOT HIM RIGHT IN THE FACE! He has a Hawaiian shirt on!"
Michael: "IT WAS A DARK ALLEY!"
Ray: "AND AN ELF HAT!"
Michael: "THERE ARE COPS ON US EVERYWHERE!"
Ray: "CHRISTMAS IS RUINED!"