Quotes / Hurricane of Puns

This is going to get ugly
A contestant, before a pun-based game on NPR's Ask Me Anything

What is this Pig World? Oh its Hamalot... it's- it's Hamalot.
Good one Bubsy! Hey wanna be a cast member on Sat-PURR-day Night Live? I know you'll make the MEOOOWST of it! I BELIEVE IN YA, BUBSY!
JonTron, Bubsy Franchise

(Patrick sprays Spongebob's hand with invisible spray)
Patrick: I gotta hand it to you, Spongebob. You look kinda funny.
Spongebob: Righty! Where are you? No one messes with Righty! We'll see how you like it!
(sprays Patrick in the middle of his torso)
Spongebob: Kind of give you an empty feeling, huh?
(Patrick sprays Spongebob's eye)
Patrick: Yeah, I see what you mean!
(Spongebob sprays Patrick's stomach, and then his crotch)
Spongebob: No guts, no glory!
Narrator: Several bad puns later...
Spongebob Squarepants, Pranks a Lot

Topic title: "Two words: Dancing tanks."
StarSword: (posts this video)
Borgholio: Tanks for showing us this.
Flagg: You're a dead man.
Enigma: He's tanked as it is. I don't think he'll get the message. :)
GuppyShark: Tread carefully
Flagg: I'm sharpening my knives.
General Zod: So he oughta make tracks if he knows what's good for him?
Flagg: I'd kill you but you're already dead inside.
General Zod: You can't tank me that easily.
Flagg: It is you who have tanked yourself. When you moving again, bro? ("evil grin" smiley)
General Zod: Probably not for awhile, but this isn't about me. Why don't you tank two joints and call me in the morning?
Flagg: You're a sad sad man.
InsaneTD: It's ok, I can tank it.
Zaune: (ASCII drawing of Picard facepalm)
InsaneTD: You didn't sight that coming?
Borgholio: What the shell is going on with all these tank puns?
InsaneTD: Hull if I know.
LaCroix: That's a piercing question...
— a thread on StarDestroyer.net

Jafar: Don't toy with me! (turns Abu into a wind-up Cymbal-Banging Monkey)
Aladdin: Abu!
Jafar: Things are unraveling fast now, boy! (unravels Carpet into a pile of thread;) "Get the point? (drops a bunch of daggers in front of Aladdin) I'm just getting warmed up! (creates a Ring of Fire around Aladdin)

"Bernie Sandwiches: a name everyone can get behind because he's not a member of the old boys' club. He fights the rich guys on behalf of the po'boys. Someone with a trusting open face and will surely win Florida by appealing to Cubans and... uh, this is a French dip, so, uh... he is au jus—ish candidate. Plus, he has a long history of supporting the LGBLT community. Sure, the Democratic establishment may have a beef with him now, because he's been reuben them the wrong way and I know it may sound hoagie, and he doesn't have it all wrapped up yet, but in times like these, his supporters believe we need a hero."
Stephen Colbert after Chris Hayes flubs "Bernie Sanders." For bonus points, he produces a corresponding sandwich with each pun.