Quotes / Homemade Sweater from Hell

Adam: You know, some would say these antlers I'm wearing would be emasculating, but they'd be wrong.
Morgan: You're right, Adam. It's the sweater that makes you look gay.
X-Play "Non-Denominational Holiday Special"

"Oh, my God! Is that sweater made of bees?"

You don't know what's worse: the embarrassingly quaint "elf on reindeer" motif, or the fact that wearing it makes you feel like you're wrapped in a dead sasquatch.

Made of wool with a holiday print
Mine's so black it'll make you squint
Sure I itch, but that'll get better
When I get used to my holiday sweater
Alex Stalock, San Jose Sharks goaltender, on the team-sung single "Holiday Sweater"

SpongeBob: Do you love it?
Squidward: (scratching) It's a little itchy. What's this thing made of?
SpongeBob: Eyelashes!
(Squidward tosses the sweater at his face, hurting his feelings)
SpongeBob SquarePants, "Dying for Pie"