I know that no matter where we live or how old we are, people are still doing their best to categorize everyone into John Hughes 80s movie archetypes, and this entire Nintendo thing is a dent in image control that's going to be hard to come back from. I don't want any of you dorks thinking you can call me to come over and hit you with cardboard swords, so for 3 months, all my articles are going to be about sports and bar fights. Then it's a week of moody poetry, and finally a bunch of pictures of me in my prom tiara. I'll keep you guessing until I finally let you know exactly which category's lunch table I sit at. I know you're thinking 'heartbreaking rebel,' but you're wrong. Wise janitor. I'm the wise janitor.
—Seanbaby, "Pointless Powerups"