Quotes: Hollywood Homely

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Austin: So they're slightly disfigured and connected at the head. But combined, those two make up one pretty decent chick.
Reggie Ray: Yeah, I'd do 'em.
Austin: I know you would, Reggie Ray. But no, I'm looking for somebody who's really messed up. I'm talking about a real shitbomb.
[Chyler Leigh walks by]
Austin: Well, bombs away!
Jake: No, no, no, no, anyone but her! Not... Janie Briggs! Guys, she's got glasses and a ponytail! Aw, look at that, she's got paint on her overalls, what is that?!

Leonardo: Take the ugly one!
Raphael: You take the ugly one!
I'll'' take the ugly one!
Michaelangelo: WHICH ONE'S THE UGLY ONE??!!
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze

We sure are cute for two ugly people.
The Moldy Peaches, "Anyone Else But You".

Five minutes into the film, I relaxed, knowing it was set in the real world, and not in the Hollywood alternative universe where Julia Roberts can't get a date.

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Jiwoo: If [the main character] was ugly, it would have ended after 5 minutes of being aired.
Heejung: ...true. Usually the main female character isn't ugly. The film might describe the woman as being plain-looking, but they actually use a really pretty actress.

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ScarJo says she has an 'okay' body. I see what you’re doing, ScarJo! She probably said that, because if she would’ve said, 'My body is spectacular and my magnificent chichis can cure impotence,' everyone would’ve called her a conceited bitch.

We move instead to the hangar to meet Jet Girl, played by Naomi Watts, who we know is not sexy because she’s wearing glasses and has brown hair.
Chris Sims on Tank Girl

Nicole Kidman wasn’t considered sexy enough by the studio. Before you snicker, bear in mind this is the same studio that at the time was planning a Superman movie with Nicolas Cage in the lead.
The Agony Booth, Batman Forever Recap Supplement

It's been pointed out before that the Daily Mail's repeated leching over teenage girls can be handily collated by popping the phrase 'all grown up' into their search bar, but scientists had yet to crack the code that simultaneously latches on to the two main agendas they push with their stories about females, namely –

#1: The sexualising of underage girls.

#2: Helpfully exposing all women over 25 as the disgusting, ashen hags they are.

In 2004, Keira Knightley became the anti-Mimi when she publicly spit on the flat chest haters who made the decision to use the silicone Photoshop tool to plump up her small titty situation on the poster for King Arthur. KK complained that if they insisted on inflating her chichis, they could’ve at least made them perky and not droopy. Well, ten years later and KK is still protesting...That’s your cue to put in your earplugs unless you really want to hear Mimi, the Kartrashians, Beyoncé, Madge and the other disciples of the Adobe philosophy scream, 'SPEAK FOR YOURSELF, BITCH,' at once.

You know, I saw this Chloe scene, and I was thinking about that big old string of shower scenes we had last season. You remember them? The most blatant was the one where Lana, in a pink/red backdrop, lather's up, luxuriates, reveals just enough body not to get one of those parental discretion warnings... Now compare that to how Chloe's bath is treated. Even though she's lighting candles and trying to relax, the lighting is dull, flat, and very little of Chloe showering is actually shown. It takes place in the dark. Any of you shower in the dark?

This has to be purposeful...which leads me to wonder, why isn't Chloe treated like as much of a hot chick as Lana?

Insert commentary that I don't want to get into about the smart chick over the pink froofy beautiful chick. Just of note.

One could argue that they learned their lesson about how rampant and arbitrary titillation doesn't serve any real story purpose. Uh, yeah. That's it. Tell it to Ms Leather pants of Vengeance last week, and ring up the return, 'cause I ain't buying it.
Neal Bailey on Smallville ("Tomb")

Leblanc is shrill, supercilious and vain... Even her henchmen have a hard time tolerating her, and can be heard making cracks about her age behind her back. Judging by the look of things, the old hag might even be a hoary twenty-five years old. (As you know, the twilight of a woman's prime is somewhere between the ages of seventeen and twenty-two.)

Laugh if you will, but I’m not. ODB was by far the most interesting woman in wrestling prior to her telling Dixie to take a hike. Was she the sexiest? No. Was she the best worker? No. But was she the most entertaining? Absolutely. And why was that? Because she was different, unique, and was completely believable as her character. When I watched ODB, I didn’t think it was someone pretending to be something she wasn’t. I truly believed her character and what it was. Compare that to say, Michelle Mc Cool. I don’t know what her motives are ; no clue as to who she is supposed to be...When ODB hit the screen, I knew what I was getting, and it was entertaining. It was different. She wasn’t every other bikini model skank, she was a white trash, trailer park skank. That’s a big difference! I couldn’t wait to see her swig from her flask as she waited to get into a fist fight with the other ‘broads’ (her words, not mine) in TNA.

Look, I get it — in the world of TV and movies, everything is cooler, prettier, and sexier than real life. The nerds are hotter than your high school's prom king, the "plain" girls are played by models, and the "fat" guys are thinner than most people in line at a Walmart.

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Tacoma: Oh, um, Cameron Diaz in Being John Malkovich, they didn't make her look hot in there.
Rebecca: Oh yeah! Let's take the hot chick and make her look frumpy. Brilliant! She can get any role she wants, do you know how many normal, ugly people would kill for that role? But no, let's hand it to the cute one and praise her for being edgy.