Quotes / Hollywood Healing

Zoro: So, how's it look, Doc? Give me a few bandages and call it a day?
Chopper: I'm afraid this is quite serious. You've taken heavy damage to your abdomen — We're going to have to remove most of your colon.
Zoro: What's that, Chopper? "Band-Aids heal everything"?
Chopper: (holding up a colostomy bag) This is going to be your new rectum.
Zoro: Heal everything.

It should be noted here that Tess had half her face burned off and was then healed by magic science bukkake.
Chris Sims and David Uzumeri on Smallville ("Lazarus")

Chakotay has the liver of an 80 year old man and the kidneys of a 12 year old boy but the Doctor manages to solve all that with a chronoton-infused serum that brought him back into temporal alignment. What the fuck does all this mean?
Doc Oho on Star Trek: Voyager, "Shattered"

We start out with a parental discretion warning. I've whined about this before. The last time they did this was when Lionel put a gun to his head and contemplated suicide... In this episode, I can only guess that they did the warning for the same reason. Chloe ends up with slashed wrists that, of course, won't scar. Maybe that's what they're warning about. You might just drop dead of incredulity next time you see her wrists...that could be a better title than Tomb, watching this one. INCREDULITY.
Neal Bailey on Smallville ("Tomb")