Quotes / Hollywood Atheist

Q: Killing babies is fine?
Seth MacFarlane: Iím an atheist, so I donít give a shit.
Crave Online (Note this seems to have been self-parody).

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    Film — Animation 

"Relax, these pious morons are too busy praying to their phoney-baloney God."
Homer Simpson, The Simpsons Movie

    Film — Live Action 

Ranger Brad: You don't believe those old legends about the Lost Skeleton of Cadavra, do you?
Dr. Roger Fleming: Ranger Brad, I'm a scientist; I don't believe in anything.

    Literature 

"The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good."

King Taravangian: Is it hard for you, Jasnah? Painful, I mean?
Jasnah: Atheism is not a disease, Your Majesty. It's not as if I've caught a foot rash.
Taravangian: Of course not, of course not. But... er, isn't it difficult, having nothing in which to believe?
Jasnah: I wouldn't say that I have nothing to believe in, Your Majesty. Actually, I have much to believe in. My brother and my uncle, my own abilities. The things I was taught by my parents.
Taravangian: But, what is right and wrong, you've... Well, you've discarded that.
Jasnah: Just because I do not accept the teachings of the devotaries does not mean I've discarded a belief in right and wrong.
Taravangian: But the Almighty determines what is right!
Jasnah: Must someone, some unseen thing, declare what is right for it to be right? I believe that my own morality—which answers only to my heart—is more sure and true than the morality of those who do right only because they fear retribution.
Taravangian: But that is the soul of law. If there is no punishment, there can be only chaos.
Jasnah: If there were no law, some men would do as they wish, yes. But isn't it remarkable that, given the chance for personal gain at the cost of others, so many people choose what is right?
Taravangian: Because they fear the Almighty.
Jasnah: No. I think something innate in us understands that seeking the good of society is usually best for the individual as well. Humankind is noble, when we give it the chance to be. That nobility is something that exists independent of any god's decree.
Taravangian: I just don't see how anything could be outside God's decrees. Brightness Jasnah, I don't mean to argue, but isn't the very definition of the Almighty that all things exist because of him?
Jasnah: If you add one and one, that makes two, does it not?
Taravangian: Well, yes.
Jasnah: No god needs declare it so for it to be true. So, could we not say that mathematics exists outside the Almighty, independent of him?
Taravangian: Perhaps.
Jasnah: Well. I simply claim that morality and human will are independent of him too.
Taravangian: [chuckling] If you say that, then you've removed all purpose for the Almighty's existence!
Jasnah: Indeed.
The Way of Kings (first book of The Stormlight Archive), discussing the trope

    Stand-up comedy 

"I wish I could meet a Christian who would proselytize to me, but they keep running away from me."

    Theatre 

God is dead.
That's what they said.
Done in by Darwin, Marx and Freud.
Free are we
From Deity.
Of course it sort of leaves a little void.
I used to care about my fellow man.
But now—hurrah—I'm free.
And it's simply not my problem!
Potemkin, Celebration, "Not My Problem"

    Webcomics 

"How was church? Did you present proper tribute to your invisible sky wizard?"
Walky, Dumbing of Age

    Web Original 

"I'm honestly curious about what the backstory is on today's Herb and Jamaal, in which Herb has charged into Rev. Croom's office to angrily challenge his entire belief system. Is this happening after yet another Sunday service that Herb's family dragged him to, and something in the sermon finally pushed him over the edge until he couldn't stay quiet anymore? Or was he just sitting at work, stewing over Croom's unshakeable faith in the unprovable, until eventually he just barged into the Reverend's office hours demanding that he make room in his mental universe for doubt? At any rate, the final panel proves that Herb is helpless before the power of wordplay."
The Comics Curmudgeon on Herb and Jamaal

"Back then, Essex was fascinated by the work of Charles Darwin's work on natural selection... Essex and his goofy flat top are all about this whole evolution thing, particularly with regards to how it can sharpen up one's teeth and stick a big red jewel to one's forehead. I'm not sure he really understood what evolution actually was."

"Though Atheism is technically the opposite of religion, there are still quite a few atheists out there who treat it like one."

"While this seems to be becoming more of a norm in places like Scandinavia, where religious belief has reached an all-time low, if you happen to be an atheist in America we have some potentially bad news for you: There's a damn good chance that people don't like you. Including other atheists."

    Western Animation 

"Uh oh, retard alert! Retard alert, class! Do you believe in a flying spaghetti monster too, bubblehead?"
Mrs Garrison, South Park

"Yarr, without organised religion I've lost me moral compass."
The Sea Captain, The Simpsons


http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Quotes/HollywoodAtheist