Quotes / Heroic Comedic Sociopath

Frank Hannibal: What are the parts of your job you like the most, Sergeant?
Schlock: My plasma cannons. Using them. Explosions. Close combat. Cutting a wide swath through the enemy.
Frank Hannibal: You like the killing, then.
Schlock: Done right, yeah. Ending a horrible, evil person with superior firepower is very satisfying. It's so much simpler than how society usually tries to do it.
Frank Hannibal: How do you feel about the word "sociopath?"
Schlock: I get mistaken for one all the time.

Schlock: Hey, we don't need an employer. We're here, the mob is down there, and we're already dressed for dancing.
Tagon: Sergeant, we're not going to go down there and start shooting just for the fun of it. We're soldiers, not sociopaths.
Schlock: Not sociopaths. NOT. hmmmm...I guess I ought to go set the guys straight on that one.
Kerchak: I like the way you bring out the best in your troops, Tagon.

Captain Tagon: Sergeant, put together a team. We're going to sweep Southport.
Schlock: Are you sure you want me, Captain? The news said I'm a reckless, dangerously violent sociopath.
Captain Tagon: You are. But you're my reckless, dangerously violent sociopath.

Schlock: So...
Thurl: Eat it, kill it, make friends with it or take a bath in it. THOSE are the points on your moral compass.

"This soul thing... can I get one by eating someone else's?"
Schlock, Schlock Mercenary

"What, are you dense? Are you retarded or something? Who the hell do you think I am? I'm the Goddamn Batman."
Batman, All-Star Batman and Robin

A dozen dead cops and thousands of dollars in property damage mean nothing to the goddamn Batman.

Roy: I don't want you to kill anyone!
Belkar: You know, no matter how many times people tell me that, it never starts making sense.
The Order of the Stick: On the Origin of the PCs

"I require a reminder as to why raining arcane destruction is not an appropriate response to all of life's indignities. Quickly now, before they are out of range."
Vaarsuivius, The Order of the Stick

Baron Wulfenbach: Dupree. When I say the words "Alive and unharmed" — do any neurons actually fire in that brain of yours?
Bangladesh: Um — no sir!
Baron Wulfenbach: I thought not.

Gilgamesh: Dupree-
Bangladesh: Hey, I'm working here! Do I come into your lab and tell you how to torture rats?
Gilgamesh: Frequently.

"Maybe we should be finding nonviolent solutions...hahahaha!"
Boss, Saints Row 2

"It is not a game, Zevran. You either know right from wrong or you do not."

Caller: Can I speak to your superior?
Dogbert: There's some religious debate on that question.

"Yeah, it's strange—I thought I would start feeling weird about killing all these people, but really, I don't. That's because they're all pricks and deserve to die!"
Gordon Freeman, Freeman's Mind

"This sounds like a job for Ambassador Pineapple. You'll be representing me on the floor. Now go out there and work your magic."
(tosses grenade in enemy machine gun nest, then runs back to cover)
"Well, it sounds like we've reached a resolution!"
Gordon Freeman, Freeman's Mind

"That's it. No more Mr. Nice Guy. If you're wearing an enemy uniform, you're dead. If somebody's grandma is cold and puts on a camo blanket, she's dead."
Gordon Freeman, Freeman's Mind

"It could be safe to say that you would rather have a psychopath at your side that to your back, since they're more likely to splatter your enemy's brains on the wall than your own. The Sociopath loves to fight, or at the very least feels the most alive while in battle. They kill without hesitation or remorse, and only rarely do we see any kind of emotion other than a "Don't fuck with me or I'll shove a rock up your ass" sort of vibe. While dangerous and unpredictable at times, they often have a personal code of honor, and will not break it under any circumstances. Though we doubt shooting you over the last Pop Tart in the pantry falls within the confines of that code, so you'd best watch yourself."
Cracked, on BioWare Heroic Sociopaths (Specifically Wrex, Canderous Ordo and Black Whirlwind) and Gary Busey

"Roger's a dirty cop!"
(Looks at watch)
"He's been on the force for three hours!"
Stan Smith, American Dad!

"Takin' what I want, when I want! Plus, I'm a sociopath, so, you know, all this fits me like a slipper."
Speed: I thought Avengers weren't supposed to kill?
Wolverine (claws-deep in a Skrull): Relax, junior. They're Skrulls. They'll grow back. Eventually.
Speed: In that case...(uses his super-speed to literally make the Skrull pop)
Wolverine: You're sick, kid. I like it.

Sam: Max, where should I put this [bomb] so it doesn't hurt anyone we know or care about?
Max: Out the window, Sam! There's nobody but strangers out there.
Sam: I hope there was nobody on that bus.
Max: Nobody we know, at least.
Sam & Max Hit the Road

Guerrero: I'm gonna give you a choice, 'cause I believe in every human being's right to being tortured democratically. Peel your fingernails off with this, or shoot you in the kneecaps. I have a preference, but I'm gonna leave it up to you, it's your body.
Human Target Ilsa Pucci

Sergeant Reznov, Call of Duty: World At War

Max: We save the world. Sometimes on purpose.
Sam & Max: Freelance Police (Actually, their main goal is saving the world. The mindless violence is just for fun.)

Black Mage: We can do this one of two ways. The easy way... Or the excruciatingly painful death way. I suggest the former, m'self. You're welcome to try the latter of course, but I assure you it's a wasted effort. You are up against a knife-wielding sociopath just looking for an excuse to hurt you, even if he has to make one up.
— One of the "heroes" of 8-Bit Theater.

Garland: What kind of tactic do you tend to employ?
Fighter: Oh, we usually murder our way to the top and claim victory whilst astride a pile of mangled bodies.
Garland: I see...
Fighter: But we're heroes so it's okay when we do that.
Garland: Now, this killing, would you characterize it as precise or strategic?
Fighter: It's kinda indiscriminate really
8-Bit Theater; redefining the meaning of Antihero.

I'm not a psychopath, I'm a high-functioning sociopath; do your research!
Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock

That orphanage attacked me. It was self-defense.
Richard the Warlock, Looking for Group

Fuzzy: There you are, Lance! Good news! I gutted all the upholstery in your car and filled the seats with water. Just like a comfy water bed! Only your car is flooded.
Lance: No... No more! You need to stop helping me now!
Fuzzy: You haven't enjoyed my help? But you stopped screaming in horror hours ago!
Lance: Now the screams are on the inside.

"I'll kill a man in a fair fight... or if I think he's gonna start a fair fight. Or if he bothers me. Or if there's a woman. Or if I'm gettin' paid. Mostly when I'm gettin' paid."
Jayne, Serenity

"You look more like a criminal than a policewoman to me..."
Mahiro Yasaka, Haiyore! Nyarko-san (speaking to the title character)

"You probably feel bad right now. You'd feel even worse if you knew how many Skrulls I've whacked."
Rocket Raccoon taunting the Super Skrull, Ultimate Marvel vs. Capcom 3