Quotes / Heroic Comedic Sociopath

    open/close all folders 

    Anime and Manga 

You look more like a criminal than a policewoman to me...
Mahiro Yasaka to the title character, Haiyore! Nyarko-san (speaking )

    Comic Books 

What, are you dense? Are you retarded or something? Who the hell do you think I am? I'm the Goddamn Batman.

On a crowded street, I could drain a flower vendor of all his blood, and not get caught! People would scream and vomit, and yet, somehow, I would walk away unscathed. I could do that!... Oh, wait... I did do that!

Speed: I thought Avengers weren't supposed to kill?
Wolverine (claws-deep in a Skrull): Relax, junior. They're Skrulls. They'll grow back. Eventually.
Speed: In that case... (uses his super-speed to literally make the Skrull pop)
Wolverine: You're sick, kid. I like it.

    Fan Works 

Can't we just kill them all and not care?

    Film - Live-Action 

Debbie: I bet you are a lady-killer.
Gomez: Acquitted.

June: The pilots are dead?
Miller: Shot.
June: Shot... by who?
Miller: Uh, me. Actually, I shot the first pilot... he shot the second pilot accidentally. It's just... one of those things.

I'll kill a man in a fair fight... or if I think he's gonna start a fair fight. Or if he bothers me. Or if there's a woman. Or if I'm gettin' paid. Mostly when I'm gettin' paid.
Jayne, Serenity

    Literature 

Lord Mayor: It violates the bans on magic, and it will invite the censorate down on-
Azar: I warned him! He mentioned the bans again and I warned him. You all heard me. I can't be held responsible for that - if I tell a man I'll kill him if he does something, I have to back it up, don't I?

    Live-Action TV 

I'm gonna give you a choice, 'cause I believe in every human being's right to being tortured democratically. Peel your fingernails off with this, or shoot you in the kneecaps. I have a preference, but I'm gonna leave it up to you, it's your body.
Guerrero, Human Target

I'm not a psychopath, I'm a high-functioning sociopath; do your research!
Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock

    Newspaper Comics 

Caller: Can I speak to your superior?
Dogbert: There's some religious debate on that question.
Dilbert

    Video Games 

WE COULD BE BURNING GERMANS RIGHT NOW!
Sergeant Reznov, Call of Duty: World At War

It is not a game, Zevran. You either know right from wrong or you do not.

Ricken: Henry, it's my job to kill Plegian soldiers... So I have to believe they deserve to die. But now you've reminded me that they aren't faceless blobs with axes. They have friends, and families, and... h-how am I going to fight them if I know that? What if I hesitate?
Henry: You're weird. I don't see the problem here at all.

You probably feel bad right now. You'd feel even worse if you knew how many Skrulls I've whacked.
Rocket Raccoon taunting the Super Skrull, Ultimate Marvel vs. Capcom 3

Maybe we should be finding nonviolent solutions...HAHAHAHA!
The Boss, Saints Row 2

Sam: Max, where should I put this [bomb] so it doesn't hurt anyone we know or care about?
Max: Out the window, Sam! There's nobody but strangers out there.
(BOOM!)
Sam: I hope there was nobody on that bus.
Max: Nobody we know, at least.

We save the world. Sometimes on purpose.
Max, Sam & Max: Freelance Policenote 

    Webcomics 

We can do this one of two ways. The easy way... Or the excruciatingly painful death way. I suggest the former, m'self. You're welcome to try the latter of course, but I assure you it's a wasted effort. You are up against a knife-wielding sociopath just looking for an excuse to hurt you, even if he has to make one up.
Black Mage, 8-Bit Theater

Garland: What kind of tactic do you tend to employ?
Fighter: Oh, we usually murder our way to the top and claim victory whilst astride a pile of mangled bodies.
Garland: I see...
Fighter: But we're heroes so it's okay when we do that.
Garland: Now, this killing, would you characterize it as precise or strategic?
Fighter: It's kinda indiscriminate really
8-Bit Theater, redefining the meaning of Antihero

Baron Wulfenbach: Dupree. When I say the words "Alive and unharmed" — do any neurons actually fire in that brain of yours?
Bangladesh: Um — no sir!
Baron Wulfenbach: I thought not.

Gilgamesh: Dupree-
Bangladesh: Hey, I'm working here! Do I come into your lab and tell you how to torture rats?
Gilgamesh: Frequently.

That orphanage attacked me. It was self-defense.
Richard the Warlock, Looking for Group

Roy: I don't want you to kill anyone!
Belkar: You know, no matter how many times people tell me that, it never starts making sense.
The Order of the Stick: On the Origin of the PCs

Belkar: So, I did what I always do - murder people horribly - but because I killed the people everyone else wanted me to kill, I get presents instead of prison time?
Roy: Uh, well, it's a lot more complicated than that, but-
Belkar: HA HA HA HA HA HA! It's working! It's WORKING, SUCKERS!
The Order of the Stick demonstrating the extremely rare "fake character development"

I require a reminder as to why raining arcane destruction is not an appropriate response to all of life's indignities. Quickly now, before they are out of range.
Vaarsuivius, The Order of the Stick

Fuzzy: There you are, Lance! Good news! I gutted all the upholstery in your car and filled the seats with water. Just like a comfy water bed! Only your car is flooded.
Lance: No... No more! You need to stop helping me now!
Fuzzy: You haven't enjoyed my help? But you stopped screaming in horror hours ago!
Lance: Now the screams are on the INSIDE.

Frank Hannibal: What are the parts of your job you like the most, Sergeant?
Schlock: My plasma cannons. Using them. Explosions. Close combat. Cutting a wide swath through the enemy.
Frank Hannibal: You like the killing, then.
Schlock: Done right, yeah. Ending a horrible, evil person with superior firepower is very satisfying. It's so much simpler than how society usually tries to do it.
Frank Hannibal: How do you feel about the word "sociopath?"
Schlock: I get mistaken for one all the time.

Schlock: Hey, we don't need an employer. We're here, the mob is down there, and we're already dressed for dancing.
Tagon: Sergeant, we're not going to go down there and start shooting just for the fun of it. We're soldiers, not sociopaths.
Schlock: Not sociopaths. NOT. hmmmm... I guess I ought to go set the guys straight on that one.
Kerchak: I like the way you bring out the best in your troops, Tagon.

Captain Tagon: Sergeant, put together a team. We're going to sweep Southport.
Schlock: Are you sure you want me, Captain? The news said I'm a reckless, dangerously violent sociopath.
Captain Tagon: You are. But you're my reckless, dangerously violent sociopath.

Schlock: So...
Thurl: Eat it, kill it, make friends with it or take a bath in it. THOSE are the points on your moral compass.

This soul thing... can I get one by eating someone else's?
Schlock, Schlock Mercenary

    Web Original 

It could be safe to say that you would rather have a psychopath at your side that to your back, since they're more likely to splatter your enemy's brains on the wall than your own. The Sociopath loves to fight, or at the very least feels the most alive while in battle. They kill without hesitation or remorse, and only rarely do we see any kind of emotion other than a "Don't fuck with me or I'll shove a rock up your ass" sort of vibe. While dangerous and unpredictable at times, they often have a personal code of honor, and will not break it under any circumstances. Though we doubt shooting you over the last Pop Tart in the pantry falls within the confines of that code, so you'd best watch yourself.
Cracked, on BioWare Heroic Sociopaths (Specifically Wrex, Canderous Ordo and Black Whirlwind) and Gary Busey

Yeah, it's strange - I thought I would start feeling weird about killing all these people, but really, I don't. That's because they're all pricks and deserve to die!
Gordon Freeman, Freeman's Mind

This sounds like a job for Ambassador Pineapple. You'll be representing me on the floor. Now go out there and work your magic. (KABOOM) Well, it sounds like we've reached a resolution!
Gordon Freeman, Freeman's Mind

That's it. No more Mr. Nice Guy. If you're wearing an enemy uniform, you're dead. If somebody's grandma is cold and puts on a camo blanket, she's dead.
Gordon Freeman, Freeman's Mind

A dozen dead cops and thousands of dollars in property damage mean nothing to the goddamn Batman.

I love blood and violence! I've got a boner for murder!
Sarge, Red vs. Blue

    Western Animation 

Roger's a dirty cop! (checks watch) He's been on the force for three hours!
Stan Smith, American Dad!

Takin' what I want, when I want! Plus, I'm a sociopath, so, you know, all this fits me like a slipper.
Roger, American Dad!


http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Quotes/HeroicComedicSociopath