Quotes: Heroic Comedic Sociopath
What are the parts of your job you like the most, Sergeant? Schlock:
My plasma cannons. Using them. Explosions. Close combat. Cutting a wide swath through the enemy. Frank Hannibal:
You like the killing, then. Schlock:
Done right, yeah. Ending a horrible, evil person with superior firepower is very satisfying. It's so much simpler than how society usually tries to do it. Frank Hannibal:
How do you feel about the word "sociopath?" Schlock:
I get mistaken for one all the time.
Hey, we don't need an employer. We're here, the mob is down there, and we're already dressed for dancing. Tagon:
Sergeant, we're not going to go down there and start shooting just for the fun of it. We're soldiers, not sociopaths. Schlock: Not
. hmmmm...I guess I ought to go set the guys straight on that one. Kerchak:
I like the way you bring out the best in your troops, Tagon.
Sergeant, put together a team. We're going to sweep Southport. Schlock:
Are you sure you want me
, Captain? The news said I'm a reckless, dangerously violent sociopath. Captain Tagon:
You are. But you're my
reckless, dangerously violent sociopath.
Eat it, kill it, make friends with it or take a bath in it. THOSE are the points on your moral compass.
"This soul thing... can I get one by eating someone else's?"
"What, are you dense? Are you retarded or something? Who the hell do you think I am? I'm the Goddamn Batman."
, All-Star Batman and Robin
A dozen dead cops and thousands of dollars in property damage mean nothing to the goddamn Batman.
I don't want you to kill anyone! Belkar:
You know, no matter how many times people tell me that, it never starts making sense.
"I require a reminder as to why raining arcane destruction is not an appropriate response to all of life's indignities. Quickly now, before they are out of range.
Belkar: So, I did what I always do — murder people horribly — but because I killed the people everyone else wanted me to kill, I get presents instead of prison time?
Roy: Uh, well, it's a lot more complicated than that, but —
HA HA HA HA HA HA! It's working! It's WORKING, SUCKERS!
Dupree. When I say the words "Alive and unharmed"
— do any
neurons actually fire in that brain of yours? Bangladesh:
Um — no sir! Baron Wulfenbach:
I thought not.
"Maybe we should be finding nonviolent solutions...hahahaha!"
"It is not a game, Zevran. You either know right from wrong or you do not."
Can I speak to your superior? Dogbert:
There's some religious debate on that question.
"Yeah, it's strange—I thought I would start feeling weird about killing all these people, but really, I don't. That's because they're all pricks and deserve to die!
"This sounds like a job for Ambassador Pineapple. You'll be representing me on the floor. Now go out there and work your magic.
(tosses grenade in enemy machine gun nest, then runs back to cover)
"Well, it sounds like we've reached a resolution!
"That's it. No more Mr. Nice Guy. If you're wearing an enemy uniform, you're dead. If somebody's grandma is cold and puts on a camo blanket, she's
"It could be safe to say that you would rather have a psychopath at your side that to your back, since they're more likely to splatter your enemy's brains on the wall than your own. The Sociopath loves to fight, or at the very least feels the most alive while in battle. They kill without hesitation or remorse, and only rarely do we see any kind of emotion other than a "Don't fuck with me or I'll shove a rock up your ass" sort of vibe. While dangerous and unpredictable at times, they often have a personal code of honor, and will not break it under any circumstances. Though we doubt shooting you over the last Pop Tart in the pantry falls within the confines of that code, so you'd best watch yourself.
"Roger's a dirty cop!"
(Looks at watch
) "He's been on the force for three hours!"
"Takin' what I want, when I want! Plus, I'm a sociopath, so, you know, all this fits me like a slipper."
Wolverine (claws-deep in a Skrull)
: Relax, junior. They're Skrulls. They'll grow back.
Speed: In that case...(uses his super-speed to literally make the Skrull pop)
: You're sick, kid. I like it.
Max, where should I put this [bomb] so it doesn't hurt anyone we know or care about? Max:
Out the window, Sam! There's nobody but strangers out there. (BOOM!) Sam:
I hope there was nobody on that bus. Max:
Nobody we know, at least.
— Sam & Max Hit the Road
: I'm gonna give you a choice, 'cause I believe in every human being's right to being tortured democratically. Peel your fingernails off with this, or shoot you in the kneecaps. I have a preference, but I'm gonna leave it up to you, it's your body.
"WE COULD BE BURNING GERMANS RIGHT NOW!"
We save the world. Sometimes on purpose.
We can do this one of two ways. The easy way... Or the excruciatingly painful death way. I suggest the former, m'self. You're welcome to try
the latter of course, but I assure you it's a wasted effort. You are up against a knife-wielding sociopath just looking
for an excuse to hurt you, even if he has to make one up.
: What kind of tactic do you tend to employ? Fighter
: Oh, we usually murder our way to the top and claim victory whilst astride a pile of mangled bodies. Garland
: I see... Fighter
: But we're heroes so it's okay when we
do that. Garland
: Now, this killing, would you characterize it as precise or strategic? Fighter
: It's kinda indiscriminate really
I'm not a psychopath, I'm a high-functioning sociopath; do your research!
That orphanage attacked me.
It was self-defense.
There you are, Lance! Good news! I gutted all the upholstery in your car and filled the seats with water. Just like a comfy water bed! Only your car is flooded. Lance:
No... No more
! You need to stop helping me now
You haven't enjoyed my help? But you stopped screaming in horror hours ago! Lance: Now the screams are on the inside.
"I'll kill a man in a fair fight... or if I think he's gonna start a fair fight. Or if he bothers me. Or if there's a woman. Or if I'm gettin' paid. Mostly when I'm gettin' paid."
"You probably feel bad right now. You'd feel even worse if you knew how many Skrulls I've whacked"