Batman: He frequents the "I Hate Hawkgirl" bulletin boards. Hawkgirl: That doesn't mean...boards? How many are there? Batman: Fifty-seven. Web rings. Unaffiliated sites number in the hundreds... Hawkgirl: Forget I asked!
Mass movements can rise and spread without belief in a God, but never without belief in a devil.
— Eric Hoffer, The True Believer
With American Gods
, I found myself having written this peculiarly divisive book. I really hadnít expected the idea that it had a solid audience of people who really didnít like it for one reason or another, and who were incredibly vocal and articulate
about why they didnít like it.
My very brief acquaintance with Tumblr
is that it's a place where people who hate me gather.
"Fuck you, you fuckity-fucker
. What will you think when you are being basted in the broth of God's righteous indignation? I look forward to observing from my post in Heaven the exquisite tortures you will suffer at the hands of the just and loving God whom you have rejected, you fuckity-fucker.
The Secret Rival
exists in the shadows. I never actually see him, but he is my worst enemy and my most faithful reader, popping up every now and then to reassure everyone I still ruin his life
. With every article he continues to read, he hates me more and further hates the world that allows me to exist. More than anything, though, he hates the taste of his giant Me poster
... I can't really tell a guy to suck my balls when he's already lurking under my toilet in a wetsuit screaming at them while I shit on him.
...I haven't thought about suicide in a long time, not since high school, when a guy talked me out of it, though to this day I doubt he realizes it. So, I lived on to wind up with a job where one of my tasks is to ban people who follow him from one comment section to another telling him he's not funny and should kill himself. Is that—irony? Shit, I don't think English has a word for what that is.
During the red carpet portion of the Golden Globes last night, Chip and Daleís
long-lost sister Lena Dunham admitted to wealthy elf Ryan Seacrest that she would not be following the eveningís events on Twitter, because she had deleted it...Lena explains that she did it because she was tired of people using their 140 characters to hiss rudeness at her
. Ryan then responded "You should see what they say about me.
" Iím sorry Ryan, but if you didnít want people dragging you online, you should have never released the Hooker Kraken (the Kardashians
) unto the world.
We basically play 16 away games a year, as FedEx [Stadium]
is constantly packed with rival fans. Visiting teams are generally so well represented that their chants drown out our own when the Redskins are down. They are like a pack of feral cats who have taken over an alley and no longer fear humans.
I prance about the kitchen like Michael Corleone
, and just when I think I've gone legitimate, just when I think I'm out of the business, Smallville
sends a helicopter to crash the meeting of the families.
'Just when I thought I was out, they PULL ME BACK IN!
(clutches heart, falls to the kitchen tiles in his bath robe, and tries desperately to justify dating Sophia