Quotes / Guide Dang It!

"It's not that hard. You just have to use abilities they won't discuss and techniques they haven't entirely taught you via controls they never quite explain."

" FromSoftware, are you getting backhanders from the GameFAQs people?"

"It's not fair if you don't make all the rules clear. If I'm stuck in a puzzle game, I prefer it to be because I'm a big thick-y bobo who can't figure out where all the pieces go, not because one of the pieces was still in the box. Forgive me if it didn't occur to me to near the bleeping explode-y death ball and repurpose it as a dessert trolley!"

"This is one game where there's officially no shame in looking up the FAQ."

"I don't mind having to intuit a few things, but I don't know how it makes any kind of sense that I can't access the Eastern lands until I've put on the mask of a dead ninja warrior, which is, for some reason, in the possession of two flamboyant German porn stars who run the race track."

"You have to consult walkthroughs and things to get through the tutorial, because it's not made up of puzzles. It's made up of the developer saying, "Guess what I'm thinking."

"To get anywhere in Hunt Down the Freeman you need both a walkthrough and a list of glitches handy. Itís that broken and obtuse."

"Maybe this all seems silly to you, like duh right? Of course you learn about a game by playing it long enough, that's like an inherent thing about games right? No. Think of the game like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde for the NES for example, everybody should play this game if you want to get into game design. It's a perfect example of doing nothing to teach the player about its limits and goals, nothing in this game seems to make sense! Stuff happens at random, people hurt you, some people don't, you walk backwards as Mr. Hyde and I don't know. Of course the game itself have limits, it has rules but it doesn't teach you anything itself through the gameplay and on top of that the presentation is confusing cause all the clashing information you're being fed constantly, just play this game for two minutes and you will understand how poorly you can teach a player how to play your stupid game. In terms used a lot for this concept is conveyance and I think that's a fitting name, haven't you ever been playing a game and you're just like "WHAT DO I DO? WHERE DO I GO?" That's what I'm talking about, that's bad conveyance."

"Finally! Holy crap! I don't know how anyone could have solved this one, because it was so unbelievably convoluted. —Well actually, human ingenuity of course could've solved it. A HUMAN MADE IT, A HUMAN CAN SOLVE IT."

"How are you supposed to know all that unless you read Nintendo Power? The townspeople don't help that much; they might as well just say "Get the power! Nintendo Power!" Yeah, it's classic hidden cryptic Nintendo horseshit."

"[Akitoshi] Kawazu is the type of person who designs those sadistic Super Mario hacks, only he happens to be an executive at one of the world's biggest and most influential video game companies."
Pat R., "Clubbing Myself in the Head: The Final Fantasy II Experience"

"...Space Quest IV will give you hours of frustration unless you have this hintbook. Want to know how to get the dog into the hanging basket? Want to find out how to attach the melon? Buy this hintbook and it all becomes obvious."
Space Quest IV, cheerfully hanging a lampshade on its own genre here.

Iolo: Remind me again why we're doing any of this?
Steve: Obviously, to get the jawbone so that we can teleport to Monk Isle and get me a spellbook.
Iolo: But there's no way you would have known that Erstam had any such thing, or that it could get you there. You just arbitrarily decided we'd go look for the Mad Mage!
Steve: Hey. Avatar. Trust me on this.

"What?! All I had to do was move up and down? UP... AND DOWN?!? What the fu-" [Time Over]
Sonic in Sonic Shorts, voicing the frustrations of many players at the barrels in Carnival Night Zone Act 2 of Sonic 3 & Knuckles

"Besides, everybody knows the way to save Senor Cardgage is to cut a bunch of motor sports magazines in half and pour gravy on a defibrillator."
Strong Bad, Homestar Runner ("A Decemberween Mackerel")

"Donít be discouraged, just read Nintendo Power
Or call the Nintendo Power Line number,
Or just get the Strategy Guide!"

"Now, I'd like to discuss what I consider to be Yandere Simulator's biggest game design flaw. Most of the elimination methods currently available in the game require the player to have knowledge of exactly when and where they need to stand, what item they need to have equipped, and what skills they require, in order to pull off a certain execution. Presently, this information can only be obtained by watching my YouTube videos. That's poor game design."
YandereDev, "Let's Examine Hitman"

But when you beat [Fujin], he does a super tornado thing. It instantly kills you. So when I beat him again, I naturally ran away from it... and I still died. I tried so many things to stop or survive his tornado thing, and none of them worked. Wanna know why? It's because you're supposed to run all the way to the end and crouch, and Sub Zero automatically grabs onto this ledge. There's nothing there to convey that you have to crouch at the end. No hints, no clues, nothing. That's cheap, and fuck this game for doing it.

If you take the normal route and not the secret one, you'll get the insult of your life. You'll see Joi fall into a trap and DIE! You'll see "Voce perdeu", translating to You lost. So after all that shit you went through, it turns out you lost. You can get a good ending, though it's invisible. It's hiding behind an invisible door over some lava. How are you supposed to guess that?!
Levelengine, reflecting on the 2012 version of O Ninja Negro in his list of worst Super Mario World hacks.

Now I don't know HOW you're supposed to figure this out...
HC Bailly, using one of his catch-phrases.