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Bill's Wife: You son of a biscuit-eating bulldog!!
Bill: What the french toast?
Bill's Wife: Do you think I wouldn't find out about your doodoo head cootie queen?
Bill's Mistress: Who are you calling a cootie queen, you lint licker?!
Bill: What the french toast?
Bill's Wife: Do you think I wouldn't find out about your doodoo head cootie queen?
Bill's Mistress: Who are you calling a cootie queen, you lint licker?!
— Orbit gum commercial
Comic Books
Well pierce my ears and call me drafty!
Time to open a can of kick-butt!
— Wolverine before fighting Sabretooth
"You're a strong, independent young woman. Heck, you're a superhero. Cousin of THE superhero. And he must have rubbed off on you. Why else did I just use the word "heck"?"
Lois Lane: "Oh Snap![...]"
Lana Lang: "Did you... Did you just say "Oh Snap"?
Lois Lane: I heard Jimmy saying it.
Lana Lang: "Did you... Did you just say "Oh Snap"?
Lois Lane: I heard Jimmy saying it.
Comic Strips
I'm only civil because I don't know any swear words.
— Calvin, Calvin and Hobbes
Fan Works
Son of a gum-chewing funk monster! Why the fruit does all this funny stuff happen to me?! Forget my life! Always surrounded by miserable, failing clods! Like this whole world just likes to bend me over, and find me in the Alps, like I'm some sort of schlock receptacle! Well as far as I care, these miserable cows can have a fancy barbecue with a goddamned pig!
— Vegeta, Dragon Ball Z Abridged
Oh, yes, by golly gosh all hemlock.
Kirito: I only had the one sword... W a kid's [[DeepImmersionGaming game. There's a profanity filter.
(beat)
Kirito: (Wide Eyes and Shrunken Irises) I wanna go home.
(beat)
Kirito: (Wide Eyes and Shrunken Irises) I wanna go home.
Naomi Kent: "I don't want the least bit of attitude out of you when we do it, either, young man."
Clark Kent: "Oh, cripes."
Naomi Kent: "Clark!"
Clark Kent: "I said 'cripes', Mom."
Clark Kent: "Oh, cripes."
Naomi Kent: "Clark!"
Clark Kent: "I said 'cripes', Mom."
Kyoko Sakura: Dangit, that was [Sayaka's]] name in the dream. I still gotta see if that's her real name. But anyway, I never met any of them, cept Mami, before and I suddenly start having dreams about them. I mean, it ain't my power so what the heck's going on here!
[Beat]
Kyoko: [horrified] Oh no!
[Oriko looks at Kyoko with interest]
Kyoko: I said 'freakin' instead of the other word! What's happening to me?!
Oriko Mikuni: [giggling] I suppose it's just Yuma rubbing off on you. You've censored yourself in front of her, so I suppose its taking effect elsewhere. You said 'heck' too if my observations are correct.
[Kyoko's horror grows on her face]
Oriko: Oh, and 'dangit' if memory serves.
[Beat]
Kyoko: [horrified] Oh no!
[Oriko looks at Kyoko with interest]
Kyoko: I said 'freakin' instead of the other word! What's happening to me?!
Oriko Mikuni: [giggling] I suppose it's just Yuma rubbing off on you. You've censored yourself in front of her, so I suppose its taking effect elsewhere. You said 'heck' too if my observations are correct.
[Kyoko's horror grows on her face]
Oriko: Oh, and 'dangit' if memory serves.
— The Unlikely Ally, "Chapter 8: Oriko Gets Some Visitors"
Films — Animated
Pluck my life.
— Red, The Angry Birds Movie
Darn darn darn darny darn!
Bad Cop, The LEGO Movie
Films — Live Action
I've got some R rated dialogue for you, but I'm gonna keep it PG, I'm gonna keep it PG!
— Frank Jackson, Big Fat Liar
Tony: (bouncing off a force field) Shit!
Cap: Language!
[...]
Tony: Wait a second. No-one else is gonna deal with the fact that Cap just said "language?"
Cap: I know! It just slipped out.
[...]
Thor: Find the scepter!
Tony: And for gosh' sake, watch your language!
Cap: (sigh) That's not going away anytime soon...
Cap: Language!
[...]
Tony: Wait a second. No-one else is gonna deal with the fact that Cap just said "language?"
Cap: I know! It just slipped out.
[...]
Thor: Find the scepter!
Tony: And for gosh' sake, watch your language!
Cap: (sigh) That's not going away anytime soon...
I've had it with these monkey-fighting snakes on this Monday-to-Friday plane!
— Sean Jones, Snakes on a Plane (edited for broadcast version)
If ya cut me off drivin', spill your Coke upon my shoes,
There's just no tellin' what my mouth might say.
I'll break out a string of non-profanity to make your ears curl,
In my religiously edited way.
There's just no tellin' what my mouth might say.
I'll break out a string of non-profanity to make your ears curl,
In my religiously edited way.
— Will Jensen, Sons of Provo
Literature
He didn't get out of the cockadoodie car!
— Annie Wilkes, Misery
OW! MOONFIRE AND STAR VOMIT! HEAL, by all the snakes!
— Darkstalker as Kinkajou spits poison at him, Wings of Fire
Live-Action TV
Sheldon: [Leonard] said, and I quote, "ask Penny, it was her cockamamie idea."
Penny: Leonard said "cockamamie?"
Sheldon: Actually, I'm paraphrasing. Having been raised in a Christian household, I'm uncomfortable with the language he used. And to be honest, I'm not entirely comfortable with "cockamamie."
Penny: Leonard said "cockamamie?"
Sheldon: Actually, I'm paraphrasing. Having been raised in a Christian household, I'm uncomfortable with the language he used. And to be honest, I'm not entirely comfortable with "cockamamie."
I apprehended the accused and advised him of his rights. He replied, "Why don't you ram it up your pimhole, you fusking clothprunker."
You can go straight to H-E-double hockey sticks!
— Rose Nylund, The Golden Girls
Eleanor: Somebody royally forked up. [Beat] Somebody forked up. Why can't I say "fork?"
Chidi: If you're trying to curse, you can't here. I guess a lot of people in this neighborhood don't like it, so it's prohibited.
Eleanor: That's bullshirt.
Chidi: If you're trying to curse, you can't here. I guess a lot of people in this neighborhood don't like it, so it's prohibited.
Eleanor: That's bullshirt.
Santa Claus: Oh, balderdash and fiddle-lee-dee!
Crow T. Robot: Whoa, language, Santa!
Crow T. Robot: Whoa, language, Santa!
Brianna: Well, that's adorable as all heck.
Rosemary: Oh... someone's going to need to put some money in the family Swear Jar!
Brianna: Really? "Heck"? Are you fucking kidding me?
Rosemary: Oh... someone's going to need to put some money in the family Swear Jar!
Brianna: Really? "Heck"? Are you fucking kidding me?
— Grace and Frankie, "The Raccoon"
Professional Wrestling
BALONEY, FUDGE AND MUSTARD!
Theatre
Captain: Bad language or abuse,
I never, never use,
Whatever the emergency;
Though "Bother it" I may
Occasionally say,
I never use a big, big D— note
I never, never use,
Whatever the emergency;
Though "Bother it" I may
Occasionally say,
I never use a big, big D— note
All: What, never?
Captain: No, never!
All: What, never?
Captain: Hardly ever!
All: Hardly ever swears a big, big D—
Then give three cheers, and one cheer more,
For the well-bred Captain of the Pinafore!
Then give three cheers, and one cheer more,
For the well-bred Captain of the Pinafore!
Video Games
Gosh darn it to heck!
— Wyatt, Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus
Red Hood: I don't think I've ever met a bigger goody-two-shoes...
Flash (Jay Garrick): I'm about to land one on your posterior.
Red Hood: Good luck with that, Garrick.
Flash (Jay Garrick): I'm about to land one on your posterior.
Red Hood: Good luck with that, Garrick.
Vixen: I gotta say, Brainiac was a real bastard.
Flash (Jay Garrick): Language, Ms. McCabe, you're a superhero.
Vixen: And you're seriously old school.
Flash (Jay Garrick): Language, Ms. McCabe, you're a superhero.
Vixen: And you're seriously old school.
Steve: You're shitting me!
Austin: I fertilize you not.
Austin: I fertilize you not.
— The Mark
MacCready: You stuck your neck out for me. I don't forget sh-...I mean, things like that.
Sole Survivor: You can curse all you want, I'm not your mother.
MacCready: Very funny. It's not about you, it's about a promise I made. When I left the Capital Wasteland, I didn't just leave Little Lamplight behind...I left my family behind. Had a beautiful wife named Lucy, and a son we named Duncan. He's the one I made my promise to, promise to clean up my act and be a better person...I guess that sounds pretty stupid coming from a guy who shoots people for a living.
Sole Survivor: You can curse all you want, I'm not your mother.
MacCready: Very funny. It's not about you, it's about a promise I made. When I left the Capital Wasteland, I didn't just leave Little Lamplight behind...I left my family behind. Had a beautiful wife named Lucy, and a son we named Duncan. He's the one I made my promise to, promise to clean up my act and be a better person...I guess that sounds pretty stupid coming from a guy who shoots people for a living.
Web Animation
Absalon Gohan: Baby Gohan plan to use the Multi-Dimensional Dragon Balls to erase every Gohan in the multiverse!
Gohan Black: Holy… shiitake mushrooms!
Emo Gohan: For fuck's sake! Just say "shit", you little shit!
Gohan Black: Holy… shiitake mushrooms!
Emo Gohan: For fuck's sake! Just say "shit", you little shit!
— Dragonball Gohanverse Episode 9
Web Comics
CT: D —> Oh shoot
CT: D —> E%cuse my vulgarity
CT: D —> E%cuse my vulgarity
— Equius Zahhak, Homestuck
GG: Shucks!!!!!
TT: Hey, I'm upset about it too, but let's watch the fucking language.
TT: Hey, I'm upset about it too, but let's watch the fucking language.
— Jane Crocker and the Auto Responder, Homestuck
Passenger: Enough is enough! I have had it with these gosh-darned snakes on this gosh-darned plane!
Steward: Language, sir!
Steward: Language, sir!
— Irregular Webcomic!, "No. 1861"
King Dedede: "Frikkin' crud."
Kirby: Fruh-crud.
King Dedede: "Flippin' egg."
Kirby: F-fcraig
King Dedede: "Hella."
Kirby: Heck of.
Kirby: Fruh-crud.
King Dedede: "Flippin' egg."
Kirby: F-fcraig
King Dedede: "Hella."
Kirby: Heck of.
KAYA! WHAT THE FOX! THAT HURT!
Kai Romero, Twin Dragons
Web Original
Looks like the sixth Doctor has developed exactly the same sort of lame swearing as the "ham fisted bun vendor" third Doctor and "spack off!" fourth Doctor — his latest attempt is "microcephallic apostate" (one day he will just say "you fucking twat").
...You can't even say Hell? Are you serious?
"Truck hard?" "Truck hard?!" Holy schizz! That sounds so hooooot.
Oh, sugar-honey iced tea.
— King K. Rool, Donkey Kong Country Abridged - Episode 1 - Big Dumb Day
''HEY YOU! YEAH ALL FRICKIN' HUNDRED THOUSANDS OF YOU FLIPPIN' LISTEN TO ME! I'm P-Oed about the M-Fing lurkers watching our BS. So subscribe to this channel or GT the fluff O! DADDY SAYS SUBSCRIBE!
— Philip Rivers, Gridiron Heights
"If I say the 'F' word, my mom will kick me to the curb, so I'll replace it with something not quite as bad, like maybe the word 'freak'. I know it still sounds bad, but technically, it's not a cuss word, so I'm fine. All the kids will be so edgy. Technically, it's not a cuss word, so I'm fine."
— Elise Ecklund, "If Kidz Bop Sang ABCDEFU"
" Western Animation
I really wish Mom didn't raise me so well, 'cause this deserves a much-stronger cuss word than FIDDLESTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICKS!!!
— Gumball, The Amazing World of Gumball, "The Rival"
Kids, cover your ears! FCC, here comes Linda: dagnabbit, pee popper, nuts to poppa, stinka boob taka, momma kaga, poopa daddy!
Linda Belcher, Bob's Burgers
Edd: Gu-ooooohhhh DARN IT!
Ed: Double-D almost said a bad word, Eddy!
— Ed, Edd n Eddy, Gimme Gimme Never Ed
(drops barrel on foot) GAH! HOT BELGIAN WAFFLES! Wait... I'm alone. I can swear for real! (deep breath) SON OF A— (tape fast-forward)
— Grunkle Stan, Gravity Falls, "Not What He Seems"
"We should make like hockey sticks and get the puck out of here!"
— Shaggy, Robot Chicken, Operation Rich in Spirit, A Scooby Friday
Bart: I sure as Hell can't tell you we learned about Hell unless I say Hell, can I?
Marge: ...Bart, you're no longer in Sunday School. Don't swear.
Marge: ...Bart, you're no longer in Sunday School. Don't swear.
— The Simpsons, "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment"
Marge: I know you're upset-
Bart: Darn right I'm upset!
Marge: Bart! Watch your language! ...Oh, you did. Sorry.
Bart: Darn right I'm upset!
Marge: Bart! Watch your language! ...Oh, you did. Sorry.
— The Simpsons, "Dog of Death"
"DRAT! To HADES with you ACCURSED bullseye!"
— An old horstachio while playing a game of darts, Viva Piñata, "The Old Pinatas Home"
Real Life
The title of the play stems, in the definition of the Encyclopedia Britannica quoted in the program, from military slang and means "in a mess, haywire, and derives from the first letters of the words 'situation normal all fouled up.'" The eminent Encyclopedia Britannica should be taken gently in hand and told about the birds and the flowers. The first letter of the fourth word may be all right, but the word itself, as any soldier may inform it, is hardly "fouled."
— George Jean Nathan, review of Snafu (1944)
Heck is where people go when they don't believe in Gosh.
— A joke
