Quotes / Good Hair, Evil Hair

"What is wrong with them? They never listen to me! They only listen to that blue-suited blowhard! It's the mustache, I bet!"
Robbie Rotten, LazyTown

"To have a beard is to rehearse
A battle with the universe."
Picnicface, Beard no Beard

Bibble: I'm Governor Sio Bibble, the Queen's trusted advisor.
Qui-Gon: Advisor? Hmmm. Does he have a goatee?
GM: Yes, actually, he does.
Dave: How can you have a goatee without shaving? Does it just materialize?
Male Helen: Well, yes. I'm evil.

Elan: You just executed him because I happened to have him tied up?
Vaarsuvius: Yes, but that mustache did not do him any favors either.

"Piper's son grows up to tbe the evil ruler of the world. ...And he looks hilariously like a member of Nickelback."

"Moral of the story: The thinner the mustache, the bigger the douchebag."
YouTube comment concerning Clayton from Tarzan

"Canada has gone bonkers! He has a muostash now and it's a thin pointy moustash not a cool one like cops in movies have, it's AN EVIL SORT OF MOUSSTASHCE!"
South Italy in the Axis Powers Hetalia Troll Fic "Canada Goes Bonkers"