"What is wrong with them? They never listen to me! They only listen to that blue-suited blowhard! It's the mustache, I bet!"
— Robbie Rotten, LazyTown
"To have a beard is to rehearse
A battle with the universe."
—Picnicface, Beard no Beard
Bibble: I'm Governor Sio Bibble, the Queen's trusted advisor.
Qui-Gon: Advisor? Hmmm. Does he have a goatee?
GM: Yes, actually, he does.
Dave: How can you have a goatee without shaving? Does it just materialize?
Elan: You just executed him because I happened to have him tied up?
"Moral of the story: The thinner the mustache, the bigger the douchebag."
— YouTube comment concerning Clayton from Tarzan