Quotes / Glurge


Thanks for your words. May they be your last. Thanks for sentimentality so nauseating that no living creature could possibly take it seriously.
Finur, The Boss of it All

Web Original

If you don't forward this e-mail, that's OK. Mommy says you're a mean heartless person who doesn't care about a poor little boy with only a head. She says that she hopes that you stew in the raw pit of your own guilt-ridden stomach. What kind of wretched person are you that you can't take five lousy minutes to forward this to all your friends so that they can feel guilt and shame for the rest of their day, and then maybe help a poor, bodiless nine-year-old boy?

"J. Michael Straczynski wrote a comic book explaining the WTC tragedy from superheroes' perspective. And in it, Dr. Doom cried. Yes, the evil mastermind who shot the Fantastic Four's building into space and who contributes to 80 percent of the world's daily robodeath... he was really broken up by this slight variation of his every waking moment."

For about the next three minutes, we watch Forrest basically torture Big Mike. Since all of Seagalís 'characters' are utterly unbeatable, we know that Big Mike wonít even be able to touch Forrest as he slowly decimates him... Then, in one of the most amazing jaw-droppers in movie history, Seagal confronts the bloodied, brutalized and weaving Big Mike, now just barely conscious. 'What does it take,' Forrest asks his victim, 'to change the essence of a man?' Big Mike answers, 'Time,' and then begins sobbing. 'I need time.' Seagal nods sagely. 'Me, too,' he replies. (Personally, I need an antacid.)
Jabootu on On Deadly Ground

Gasoline Alley has spent the past few months on an extremely mawkish story about a dying little boy with a wacky parrot sidekick who just wants to operate a real life steam locomotive before he kicks it. Iím a guy who loves trains and isnít in favor of little children dying of mysterious diseases, and yet am wholly unmoved by all this, mostly because the lad has been introduced to us already pre-dying, a transparent spectacle for our emotional catharsis. 'Iíll remember this theÖ' [SIGNIFICANT PAUSE TO REMIND YOU THAT THE NEXT PHRASE IS POIGNANT AND SIGNIFICANT] 'Ö rest of my life! Come here, parrot, give me a big hug! WEEP FOR ME, ENGINEER-MAN!'

Peter Engelís productions (California Dreams, Hang Time, City Guys) are cultural touchstones for at least an entire generation, of which, Saved by the Bell is the most interesting and most well-remembered. Essentially a weekly, 22 minute morality play, painted in broad, day-glo, strokes by a gurning cast, it plays like the grand emotions of the teenage years it portrays, with an audience who whoops and woos at every hallway zinger and peck on the cheek. Bayside is a world where the bad kid who takes up smoking will be dead from lung cancer within the same day, and where never-before-seen characters appear as heavy-handed moral-cyphers, greeted like old friends, never to be referred to again once the credits roll.
Stuart Millard on Saved by the Bell

Voyager is running out of food and the ship that stole all of their equipment is packed to the gills with nutrition. Janeway in her divine wisdom decides to keep her morals intact and leave the food that isnít theirs. It's nice to know that when they are starving to death she can keep her head held high.
Joe Ford on Star Trek: Voyager, "The Void"

When Travis questions Archerís decision to meddle in Ryanís command of the freighter, Archer has a philosophical justification handy. ďHuman beings have a code of behaviour that applies whether theyíre Starfleet officers or space boomers, and it isnít driven by revenge,Ē he lectures Travis. ďJust because someone isnít born on Earth doesnít make him any less human.Ē Apparently Ryan doesnít have any right to make his own decisions. He is a human, dammit, and humans act the way that Archer expects them too.
Darren Mooney on Star Trek: Enterprise, "Fortunate Son"

This is the point at which I gave up on Enterprise so many, many times before, because I simply could not endure it, and I didn't even feel generous enough to close my eyes and stick my fingers in my ears and wait for it to pass. Every time I heard this song, my capacity for goodwill was instantaneously drained by the drivel that is the lyrics—with its nonsensical cheese-and-corn combo that's supposed to incite pride and wonder and inspiration, but simply has me reaching for the sick bag. And that's before we even get to the revolting montage of technological achievements of, well, America, which takes us right back to horrid Space Race-era politics, and that nauseating brand of patriotism for which many criticise Star Trek.
The Agony Booth on the theme to Star Trek: Enterprise

Up to the very end, almost everything Lex said in this show was right, certainly more so than the petulant whining or trite platitudes that vomited out of Tom Wellingís face.
Chris Sims and David Uzumeri on Smallville ("Finale")

"Did you know that there's a new family-audience feature film that implies God nuked Japan because one plucky American moppet dared to dream? ...That God, always eager to smite foreign cities if you just believe!"
Alan Scherstuhl from The Village Voice, on the movie "Little Boy"

Blomkampís disastrous film has no real sense of what it wants to be or what it wants to achieve. The unashamedly earnest, father-son relationship between Deon (a saintly sort who wants to selflessly aid human- and robot-kind alike) and Chappie (who serves as Frankensteinís monster to Deonís overwhelmed Doctor Frankenstein) speaks to a deep, almost embarrassingly[sic] sincerity at the filmís core. Chappie doesnít just believe in things. It believes in deeply embarrassing things like childhood innocence, and friendship, and how war and crime are not healthy for children and other living things.

Web Video

Nick asks LaCroix to make Tracy forget that Vachon died or that she ever loved him; to have her remember that he was a good friend—a vampire—who decided to move on.

Wut. Why?? Why erase the 'love' part but let her keep the 'vampire' thing? Wouldn't you want to do the opposite of it? Or none at all, you jerkass?

Janeway: A long time ago, I made a decision that stranded this crew in the Delta Quadrant. I don't regret that decision.
Chuck: (as Janeway) Carey, Hagan, Jonas, and a few others might, but they're not here to complain.
SFDebris on Star Trek: Voyager, "Endgame"