Barney: Well then, you're not going to be able to pay for that trip to Spain that you've been planning. Say goodbye to riding around in gondolas, eating bratwurst, seeing the pyramids.
Robin: I don't think you know what Spain is.
Barney: Well I know that a trip there costs some serious lira.
Ted: It's dinero.
Barney: Where? I want his autograph.
Robin: I don't think you know what Spain is.
Barney: Well I know that a trip there costs some serious lira.
Ted: It's dinero.
Barney: Where? I want his autograph.
— How I Met Your Mother, "Exploding Meatball Sub"
(A customer with a thick Southern-US accent comes in, starts looking at me and frowns.)
Customer: “Hey, you.”
Me: “Hello, madam. How may I help you?”
Customer: “Do you understand me?”
Me: “Why, yes, I do.”
Customer: *sighs* “But my friend told me all you stupid hicks up here speak Spanish!”
Me: “Well, that’s a bit odd. We aren’t located anywhere near Mexico, Spain or anywhere in Europe.”
Customer: “Liar! Just so you know, I went to college and I know d*** well where this state is!”
Me: “I’m sorry?”
Customer: “You b***! You ‘re a stupid hick who thinks she knows everything! I know d*** well where this state is!”
Me: “I’m quite certain Montana is located in the northwest corner of the USA.”
Customer: “Ugh! Make me teach the brainless rednecks! It’s not in the northwest, you dumb f***! It’s in the south, by the country Idaho!”
Me: *speechless*
(The customer rolls her eyes and storms out of the store.)
— Not Always Right, "A State of Mindlessness, Part 3"
Arthur: Sir Percival! Have you started looking [for the Grail]?
Percival: Yeah, slowly.
Arthur: Yeah, I can believe that. So, what have you found in Wales?
Percival: How should I know?
Arthur: Did you start looking or not?
Percival: Yeah, at home!
Arthur: You're not from Wales?
Percival: ... No?
Arthur: "Percival the Welsh Knight" isn't from Wales?
Percival: ... No?
Arthur: Huh. My apologies then, but you gotta admit it's confusing. Then where are you from?
Percival: I'm from Caerdydd.
Arthur: From Caerd- -Disapproving Look-
Bohort (leaning in): Caerdydd. It's in Wales.
Percival: Really?
Arthur: Yep. Caerdydd is in Wales.
Percival: You sure?
Arthur: Dead sure.
Percival: Oh. So that's where the name came from!
Percival: Yeah, slowly.
Arthur: Yeah, I can believe that. So, what have you found in Wales?
Percival: How should I know?
Arthur: Did you start looking or not?
Percival: Yeah, at home!
Arthur: You're not from Wales?
Percival: ... No?
Arthur: "Percival the Welsh Knight" isn't from Wales?
Percival: ... No?
Arthur: Huh. My apologies then, but you gotta admit it's confusing. Then where are you from?
Percival: I'm from Caerdydd.
Arthur: From Caerd- -Disapproving Look-
Bohort (leaning in): Caerdydd. It's in Wales.
Percival: Really?
Arthur: Yep. Caerdydd is in Wales.
Percival: You sure?
Arthur: Dead sure.
Percival: Oh. So that's where the name came from!
— Dies Irae, the Kaamelott pilot
Neil: What is Swansea? Is it an animal?
Simon: It's a place.
Neil: It don't sound near.
Simon: It's in Wales.
Jay: Oh, mate. They say it's well grim up north.
Will: Yes, they do, but Wales isn't up north, Jay.
Jay: Well wherever it is, Michael fucking Palin, it ain't around here, is it?
Simon: It's a place.
Neil: It don't sound near.
Simon: It's in Wales.
Jay: Oh, mate. They say it's well grim up north.
Will: Yes, they do, but Wales isn't up north, Jay.
Jay: Well wherever it is, Michael fucking Palin, it ain't around here, is it?
— The Inbetweeners Season 3 Episode 6, "The Camping Trip"
Pedant: Number 7: demonstrate your ignorance about all the other countries in the world.
Corresponding addition to comment: You called it a speaker, in our zip code we call those Zucchinis. Dumb Aussie go back to Ceylon.
Corresponding addition to comment: You called it a speaker, in our zip code we call those Zucchinis. Dumb Aussie go back to Ceylon.
— Techmoan's YouTube Pedant sketch How to Write A Youtube Comment - in 10 Steps
But like Spanish is a language but it's not a nationality like they speak Spanish in Mexico and Port o' Rico and stuff but it's not like theres a place called Spania full of Spanish *people*
Trapp: Oh, what about Canada? That's basically America.
Pam: No! No, it's not.
Trapp: I'm bad at geography. You know, it's this shoddy American education system. Or should I say, Canadian education system.
— CollegeHumor, "Um, We Have A Few Questions About the Purge"
(Lola and Bugs are in front of the Eiffel Tower)
Lola: Stonehenge. One of the oldest structures in the world.
Bugs: Lola.
Lola: Was it the druids who build it or aliens? The world will never know.
Bugs: It's the Eiffel Tower.
Lola: The World. Will never. Know.
Lola: Stonehenge. One of the oldest structures in the world.
Bugs: Lola.
Lola: Was it the druids who build it or aliens? The world will never know.
Bugs: It's the Eiffel Tower.
Lola: The World. Will never. Know.
Anonymous asked: What does the arab in your carrd mean? Is it like afab and amab?
movedwifeasahi answered:.. i’m palestinian
movedwifeasahi answered:.. i’m palestinian
Soldier 4: Sir, good news! Looks like we did it. Every major city is reporting zero Peruvian flute bands. We got 'em all! [other soldiers cry out "All right! We did it!"]
Michael Chertoff: Calm down people, we still have work to do! We have to take out the place these flute bands came from so they never come again!
Official 1: We don't know where they came from, sir. We... we've been researching, but we... can't figure it out.
Michael Chertoff: Well think about it, idiot! Where else would "Peruvian" flute bands come from? [everyone else mulls it over]
Official 1: Hmm...
Michael Chertoff: The country is in the name!
Official 2: No. Sir, we checked the entire map. There isn't a country called Peruvian anywhere.
Michael Chertoff: Not Peruvian, retards, Peru! It's right here! [points to the country on a world map]
Official 3: Peh-roo.
Michael Chertoff: Calm down people, we still have work to do! We have to take out the place these flute bands came from so they never come again!
Official 1: We don't know where they came from, sir. We... we've been researching, but we... can't figure it out.
Michael Chertoff: Well think about it, idiot! Where else would "Peruvian" flute bands come from? [everyone else mulls it over]
Official 1: Hmm...
Michael Chertoff: The country is in the name!
Official 2: No. Sir, we checked the entire map. There isn't a country called Peruvian anywhere.
Michael Chertoff: Not Peruvian, retards, Peru! It's right here! [points to the country on a world map]
Official 3: Peh-roo.
"The Eiffel Tower? Whoa! I must be in Germany!"
Nicole: Okay, so if this is America... then this must be Iraq!
Teacher: Let's go back to that "if", Nicole.
Nicole: [pointing at Antarctica] Okay, so if this is America...
Teacher: Let's go back to that "if", Nicole.
Nicole: [pointing at Antarctica] Okay, so if this is America...
— FoxTrot
Bobby: Now he [Sergio] wants to go to Fiji? How are we gonna afford tickets to Europe?
Tío Carlos: Fiji is not in Europe!
Tío Carlos: Fiji is not in Europe!
—The Casagrandes, "Snack Pact"
Bodie: He's a well-known Deb's Delight. The original Hooray Henry. Probably thinks Latin America is a place where you speak Latin.
Doyle: Well, it is, isn't it?
— The Professionals, "Blood Sports"
Gloria: What is the capital of Mexico?
Cricket: (buzzes in) The answer is M!
(Beat)
Gloria: ...Come again?
Cricket: The capital is the first letter, therefore the capital of Mexico is M.
(Other Greens groan)
Remy: (buzzes in) It's Mexico City.
Gloria: And right you are, Remy! Cricket, wow, just... wow.
Cricket: Dang! I was real close!
Cricket: (buzzes in) The answer is M!
(Beat)
Gloria: ...Come again?
Cricket: The capital is the first letter, therefore the capital of Mexico is M.
(Other Greens groan)
Remy: (buzzes in) It's Mexico City.
Gloria: And right you are, Remy! Cricket, wow, just... wow.
Cricket: Dang! I was real close!
—Big City Greens, "Trivia Night"
God created war so that Americans would learn geography.
But as beautiful and popular as I am, I bet there are some people who've never even heard of me: people in countries like Paris or Toronto, or in cities like Africa.
Captain Planet: We are not wagging war on America!
Gi: Not just America. Once we command the US military, we'll fight China to the death!
Wheeler: This is so important, Gi will fight her own people!
Gi: I'm from Thailand.note
Wheeler: The Capital of China.
Gi: Not just America. Once we command the US military, we'll fight China to the death!
Wheeler: This is so important, Gi will fight her own people!
Gi: I'm from Thailand.note
Wheeler: The Capital of China.
Don’t you know that other kids are starving in Japan?
—"Eat It", "Weird Al" Yankovic
