->''"Those traitorous squirrels '''lacked the will to serve me!'''''"''
-->-- '''Random Spark'''

-> ''"We're in Castle Heterodyne with exploding collars around our necks, caught between a fake Heterodyne and a real one (as well as assorted criminals, maniacs, and various monsters), [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking and I suspect that even if we found any beer in here, it would be evil, or at least flat."]]''
-->-- '''Othar Trygvassen''', ''GentlemanAdventurer!''

->''"I will DESTROY 'Her Undying Majesty' - melt what is left of your miserable island to SLAG - '''AND BOIL THE SEAS AROUND YOU FOR THE NEXT THOUSAND YEARS!'''"''
-->-- '''[[http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20060306 Gil]]'''

->''"A good magician never reveals how a trick is done. An'' '''evil''' ''magician never leaves any evidence that there'' '''was''' ''a trick in the'' '''first place.''' ''So which am I going to have to be'' '''today?'''''"''
-->-- '''[[http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20070115 Master Payne]]'''

->''"This has a small, but fascinating, chance of'' '''actually working! Let's do it!'''''"''
-->-- '''Agatha'''

->'''Tarvek:''' [[TheExtremistWasRight I am not]] '''''[[TheExtremistWasRight enjoying]]''''' [[TheExtremistWasRight this]] -- but I can do it '''''all day'''''! Understood?\\
'''Gil:''' *Snort*\\
'''Tarvek:''' What?!\\
'''Gil:''' Ha! That's a ''really good'' impersonation of [[ReasonableAuthorityFigure my father]]!\\
'''Tarvek:''' [[MyGodWhatHaveIDone ...]]\\
'''Tarvek:''' "...♥And'' '''now''' ''[[TakeThat I will establish an]] [[EvilOverlord illegitimate government]] based on brute force, which will eventually [[SketchySuccessor leave you under the heel of my debauched libertine of a son]].♥ So make sure to hide all the'' '''[[MaliciousSlander booze]] and [[UrbanLegendLoveLife women]]'''.♥ ''Oh,'' '''yes.'''''"
-->-- [[http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20091012 Tarvek and Gil summarize the Wulfenbach Empire]]

->''"Don't try to boggle'' '''me''' ''mister'' '''talking cat.''' ''This is'' '''Mechanicsburg.''' ''You are'' '''by no means''' ''the strangest thing in'' '''this''' ''town."''
-->-- '''Carson von Mekkhan'''

->''"There's more to being an evil despot than getting cake whenever you want it."''
-->-- '''Tarvek Sturmvoraus'''

->'''Doctor Yglyn''': Now! Are you prepared for the '''''dark rites''''' and '''''twisted oaths''''' of the Heterodynes?!\\
'''Agatha''': Am I?\\
'''Yglyn''': Oh. Ha! Sorry for the excess drama, I usually do the cathedral tour!\\
'''Agatha''': So...'''''dark rites?'''''\\
'''Yglyn''': Oh, my, yes! They '''''accumulate''''', you know!\\
'''Yglyn''': Some are purely ceremonial, but '''''some''''' utilize mysterious lost sciences to hold back '''''hideous extradimensional beings''''' that would '''''ravage our world!'''''\\
'''Agatha''': Well, I guess we'd better at least do '''''those'''''...\\
'''Yglyn''': Ooooh! You can tell the difference?! '''''Wonderful!'''''

->''"Look. It's very simple. Yes, she's '''''technically''''' dead. But it's kind of a '''''rolling death''''' thing--so she's not all the way '''''dead''''' dead."''
-->-- '''Tarvek'''

->'''Vanamond''': You've '''done''' your part! You '''fixed''' the castle! The '''''Doom Bell''''' rang! At this point, what else ''can'' you do?\\
''Agatha looks at statue of her heroic father and uncle''\\
'''Agatha''': Wrong question. '''''I''''' am the '''''Heterodyne'''''. '''''MY''''' town is under attack. The '''question''' is: WHAT '''''CAN'T''''' I DO?

->''"No! Not in the facing!"''
-->-- '''A sentient building'''

->''Well, you know what? [[WorldOfCardboardSpeech I can do crazy.]] I really can. And it looks like I'm going to have to. Agatha is in danger. This whole town is in danger. If I'm going to be able to help her at all, [[BewareTheNiceOnes I'll have to give up all this "being reasonable" garbage]]--and show you '''idiots''' what kind of a [[ScienceRelatedMemeticDisorder madboy]] you're really dealing with!\\
...oh. Oh, no. [[TheExtremistWasRight This must be how my father feels all the time!]]''
-->-- '''[[http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20080305 Gil]]'''