"Man, fountains pen are a pain to use, drawing backgrounds is a also a pain... Drawing manga really is a pain. In short living is a pain... I want to become a cheeseburger."
"What are you, some tantrum-throwing brat who forgot to buy his Jump? Having no money is like having a sinus infection. You just have to ignore it and not pick at it, and it'll go away."
—Gintoki (Episode 1)
"You yourself have to change first, or nothing will change for you!"
—Gintoki (Episode 1)
"Sake sure is nice. You can forget your troubles if only for a moment. You'll have to remember them tomorrow though, and they'll be even more painful than they were the night before. You can't run away from things like this. Especially from things you really want to forget."
—Gintoki (Episode 2)
"The country? The Skies? You can have them. I'm busy just protecting what's right in front of me. I don't know what'll happen to me in the future, but if something has fallen at my feet, then the least I can do is pick it up."
—Gintoki Sakata (Episode 3)
"I'll protect what I want to protect"
—Gintoki to Tae and Shinpachi (Episode 3)
"It doesn't bother me. Everyone in Edo is like that. They're somewhat cold and indifferent towards people. That's a smart way to live. Busybodies like you are dopes. In the end idiots just end up being used. But I'd rather be a dope."
Kagura to Shinpachi (Episode 4)
"If you have time to fantasize about a beautiful end, then just live beautifully 'til the end."
—Gintoki Sakata (Episode 5)
"Listen Up! Let's say you drink too much strawberry milk, and have to use the bathroom in the middle of the night. But it's cold outside your bed. You don't want to get up, but the urge to urinate is just too strong! You make up your mind to go! You run to the bathroom, stand in front of the toilet, and let loose! You think that all your life has led to this moment! But then you realize: it isn't the bathroom - you're still in bed! That feeling of lukewarm wetness spreads like wildfire! But you don't stop! You can't stop! That's what I'm talking about! That's the truth of strawberry milk!"
—Gintoki Sakata (Episode 11)
"Everyone's carrying something that matters. You just don't realize when you're carrying it. It's only after it slips out of your hand that you realize how heavy it was in the first place. So many times I thought that I'd never carry a load like that ever again. And yet, before I realized it, I was carrying it again. I'd feel so much better if I just got rid of it. But I just can't bring myself to do it."
—Gintoki (Episode 13)
"Listen… I don't care what you do somewhere else in the universe, but anywhere within reach of my sword, is my country! Bastards who come in and try and mess with my things…whether it be a general, whether it be space pirates, whether it be a meteorite… I'll destroy them all!"
—Gintoki Sakata (Episode 13)
"The Bakufu is of no use to us humans, you should all realise that by now. What are your swords for? To protect the Bakufu, to protect the Shogun? Not me. Don't you remember? Back then, we had no education, no place to call our own. A bunch of rogues who only knew how to use a sword. Who was it that welcomed us to a filthy washed up dojo? Then when the sword ban came, the one who lost his own sword along with his dojo, and yet didn't abandon us, who was it? The same guy who brought back our lost swords once again, who was it? For that, the only orders I take are the ones from the mouth of Kondo-san, not the Bakufu or the Shogun."
—Hijikata (Chapter 15)
"There's this one organ that's even more important than my heart. You can't see it, but it's there. Because of it, I can stand tall, even if I'm all worn down, I can still walk. And if I don't go, it'll break. My soul will break. Even if my heart stops beating, it is still more important. It doesn't matter if I'm old and can't walk. It will still stand tall."
—Gintoki (Chapter 43)
"I've made up my mind. I'm going into space. If I stay on Earth, Crawling around and fighting amonto, I know how the future's going to turn out. Even as we speak, the Amonto keep coming and coming. We can't fight the tide of change. Fighting this war is only sending our comrades ti their deaths, I don't want to see any more of our comrades die. From now on, we've got to look at things from a different perspective. A perspective so high, we can see humans, Amanto and the whole world at once. That's why I'm going into space. I'll sail huge ships through outer space... and fish for stars."
—Sakamoto (Episode 23)
"When your friend is crying, cry with him. When your friend is worried, you should worry with him. And when your friend has an awkward bowel movement, then you must have an awkward bowel movement too. Shin-chan, if you are a friend, you should be able to share the other's pain, no matter what. And Shin-chan, if your friend goes down the wrong path… then you must stop your friend, even if it ruins your friendship. That is true samurai friendship."
"You don't get it right? A revenge battle? On top of that to avenge an asassin? I won't get anything from this, I know it... But if I don't do it, I won't be able to live without any regrets."
—Okita (Episode 27)
"Even if you lose all memory in your head, the ones engraved in your heart and the ones that exist in your soul will never disappear, no matter what happens."
—Gintoki (Episode 38)
"Life is like a mountain. You can say you have reached the top only after climbing back down."
—Gintoki (Episode 73)
"I don't care about that gap you created on your own. I'll just jump across it as many times as it takes, and punch some sense into you."
—Kondo (Episode 87)
"I just want the woman I love to be happy. It's imposible for an assassin like me to do it, so I wanted her to form a family with a normal man, to have kids, and to live a happy life. That's the only thing I want."
—Hijikata (Episode 87)
"It's true that perhaps we had the same starting point, but even then our goals were different; each wanted to do his own thing, we set our sights on different goals, and that was how we lived."
"I won't call you a bastard. I'm no better. I've done more than my share of bad things. And to top it off, I'm trying to kill the husband of a dying woman. Sad isn't it. ["So you can say we're like two of a kind. No wonder they call you the Demon Vice-Chief. I think you and will get along well"] That's really an exaggeration. I just want the girl I love to be happy."
—Hijikata to Mitsuba's fiancée (Episode 88)
"We've been dyed pitch black!? I see, if I were a piece of white cloth, that would certainly be true. But if I'm anything, I'm probably underwear with lots of crinkly hairs stuck to it. "A white banner"? They're nothing as soft and sweet. I don't know about the people around you, but these guys are different. They're not easily swapped with a colour. If I had to call them something, they'd be grime. No matter how much you wash, they're the stubborn stains that won't come out. Because they're stubborn things that won't come out no matter how you wash them, you start feeling affection for them. They're really troublesome things. But even though they're stains, over time, the collection's turned into something we can show others. Before I knew it, they'd created an excellent banner. They've got no schooling and no manners. Rather than logic, they're a bunch who spring into action based on feelings. I have no idea what that enigmatic bunch is thinking. Sensei, you can't control them. They won't be defeated by any colour, and neither will they be dyed by any colour."
—Kondo (Episode 102)
"If anyone gets in my way, I'll beat him down no matter who he is. Hijikata is gone, now it's your turn, Ito-sensei. Sorry, I won't serve you, or him. I'll only acknowledge one person as general; get away from there! That place beside him is mine!"
—Okita (Episode 103)
"Kondo-san, the problem with you is that you're too nice. You trust everyone and don't think to doubt them. Unfortunately, that fox managed to get in, too. Well, I thought it would come to this some day. But, because you are who you are, we came to you. Because you are who you are, we fought with you. Because you are who you are, we're willing to put our lives on the line for you."
—Okita (Episode 103)
"As Captain of the Shinsegumi's first squad, I'll give you one last lesson. When facing an enemy with an overwhelming difference in strength, the best way to overcome this power is by depending on numbers. Synchronise your breathing, link your mind with your heart and body. And at the right moment, attack together and cut him down! And then… DIE!"
—Okita (Episode 103)
"Kondo-shi, I will give you my life. You are charged with a responsibility in exchange for it. And that is to not die! You have to live on no matter what. No matter what disgrace you have to face, and no matter how many members die in front of you, you have to carry on living! That's because as long as you're around, the Shinsengumi won't end! We entered the Shinsengumi because we admired you. You're an idiot, so stop thinking about difficult things. All you have to do is continue living in your own way. We will just protect that from everyone else. You're the soul of the shinsengumi, and we are the swords who protect that."
—Hijikata (Episode 103)
"Does a dying father who wishes to see his son really need a reason for that? Do children need a reason to see their parents either? A reason for father and son wanting to meet? He just wants to see the other's face. Isn't that reason enough?"
—Gintoki (Episode 107)
"If you want to kill me, then go ahead and kill me. You kill those that you hate. You turn old those who are more beautiful than you. Even if you continue to do so, you will never obtain eternal beauty. Even if you did find the eternal youth you're looking for...even if you wear those lavishly beautiful kimonos...I'll say this straight from my heart: You're ugly; your heart is truly laughably wretched."
—Tae to Otohime (Episode 117)
"I don't care if this country of Samurai fell. Then and now, what I protect has never changed!"
—Gintoki Sakata (Shinsengumi Rebellion arc)
"My pipe isn't a cheap piece of crap. It was made by the brand name "bitch". You can't buy one here. If you lost it, you'd better buy me a better one... on the surface."
—Tsukuyo (Yoshiwara arc)
"Life is just an important choice after another, keep going forward and watch how far those foolish choices can take you."
—Abuto (Episode 142)
"I choose my own battlefields. Not by my blood, but by my heart! I stand on the battlefield to protect what's important to me. And if anyone stands in my way, I don't care if it's one of my kind, my brother or anyone else… I'll crush them all!"
—Kagura (Episode 142)
"I mastered the way of the otaku… But I suppose that I never cared about being lord over all otaku. I may have just wanted to completely lose myself in one task. I may have just wanted to fight with everything I had, alongside with my friends. With my rivals… Shinpachi, you're the same. There is no need for any proof. There is no need to create any. We just have to live every second to the fullest."
—Tosshi (Otsu arc)
"Your life is no longer yours to throw away. You're more than someone who protects Tama. All the protecting you've done has led you to the people who will protect you in return. All squirmy-like. Just like a white blood cell."
—Gintoki to the Leukocyte King (Tama Quest arc)
"Tama said the same thing to me; she told me to forget about her and protect you - to release you from this place. That's why I told her, if you really were a copy of me, you would never want that. Even if you died, you'd never dream of running away and leaving me in charge behind. Guess I overestimated you. You're dumping what's important off someone else and stepping down? I am your copy. It doesn't matter if I die, as long as you live, more copies can be made. I don't remember having such a pathetic copy. You wouldn't have a chance of taking my place. And I absolutely refuse to take yours. Nobody can take anybody's place. There isn't a person in this world that can take your place. It doesn't matter if you were based on me or have the same face. You're the one who's devoted yourself to protecting Tama this whole time, not me. As far as Tama is concerned, you're no copy or substitute. You're someone who's always been there for her… -a precious, irreplaceable friend… If you truly care about Tama, never talk about dying again. Never call yourself a substitute again. I'm done fighting with you. Let's survive and have a drink together, brother."
—Gintoki (Tama Quest rc)
"She's matured enough that her teacher's burdens are nothing. I wonder, if my pops was still alive, would I be able to bear his weight?"
—Zenzo (Red Spider arc)
"Why change it? This is a life that you chose for yourself, and nothing will change that. You don't need to fret, nor do you need to be embarassed. No one else can or should choose the path that you walk upon. Just puff out your chest, and walk proudly. There's nothing wrong with your face. As long as your soul doesn't get scarred, your face will remain beautiful"
—Gintoki to Tsukuyo (Red Spider arc)
"Some things can only be seen through a tainted eye."
—Okita (Episode 187)
"When you fight, it doesn't matter how many enemies you kill. If you fail to protect what you want to protect, you lose."
—Okita (Episode 187)
"Even with a bed at his disposal, MADAO still didn't grow any. His stare was fixed down at the floor, and his eyes were vacant and lacking any life. It was as if he couldn't look up to the Angels and instead watched Lucifer, waiting for the day that he would join him."
—Daigoro (Episode 188)
"If you run into a wall and pretend it doesn't exist, you'll never make any progress. The wall will never change, so you're the one who has to change."
—Hijikata Toushiro (Thorny arc)
"Tears are handy for washing away troubling and sad feelings. But when you grow up, you’ll learn that there are things so sad, they can never be washed away by tears. That there are painful memories that should never be washed away. So people who are truly strong laugh when they want to cry. They endure all of the pain and sorrow while laughing with everybody else."
—Obi Hajime (Episode 261)
"You know my sword, don't you? If so, then it's probably in a memory of defeat you cannot wipe away: you know that your sword can't reach me."
—Utsuro (Episode 314)