"Donkey Kong Country is truly perfect, and if you do not get this amazing new generation of Donkey Kong Country madness, you are stupid. Yes, I know, that's insulting, but it's also the truth. If you're a true video game fan, you will not hesitate in the slightest bit to buy this piece of gaming history."
"Our last note regarding this game is the bungee jumping scene. Look at this! It looks like he's jumping without a rope! To make matters worse, the camera is all screwed up. He jumps! He jumps again, from a different angle! What the heck?! Is this some new funky directing style, or what? Okay, enough of Bond."
"We have a challenge to EIDOS. In Tomb Raider III, create a storyline in which Lara gets breast cancer. Imagine the drama of a vulnerable Lara Croft still persisting on her worldly adventures despite her illness. It needs fleshing out, no pun intended, but we guarantee the gaming world would be shocked, stunned, and moved by the effort to make Lara's character more meaningful. We love Lara, but it's about time the industry had a big shock for a change."
"Speaking of action figures, take a look at this one. It's a ripoff of Blanka from Street Fighter II. Also notice the similarities to other characters on the package design. Aha! We caught these guys ripping off Capcom!"
"Good evening. I'm George Wood. Or are you watching in the morning? If so, that makes me your morning wood. With an overactive Wii."
— Tribute To George Wood
"We'll have continued coverage of this game soon. Oh, by the way, if Square doesn't add voice-overs to Final Fantasy IX, I'm committing suicide. I HATE text."
"Final Fantasy III, get it or die! Music that makes your heart soar, you should definitely buy the CD."
— Super Nintendo Games
