I take a look at my enormous penis
And my troubles start a-meltin' away
I take a look at my enormous penis
And the happy times are comin' to stay
I gotta sing and dance when I glance in my pants
And the feeling's like a sunshiney day
I take a look at my enormous pe-e-e-nis
And everything is goin' my way

"Take about five dozen eggs, start putting them in a bowl, mix the FUCK out of them and what do you get? PENIS!"

"You hear those dick pill ads, and they’re all like, 'If you have an erection lasting for more than four hours, consult a doctor.' It should read: 'If you have an erection lasting for more than four hours, consult a bunch of sexy ladies and high-five your penis!'

You ever read mythology? Look back at those old gods and you’ll see ‘em sporting dangerous, unholy wood. Their cocks are basically baseball bats studded with thorns and snaked with vines and tipped with antlers—it’s erectile divinity. We could all only aspire to have that in real life.

Well, in the World of Darkness, you can. You can be a werewolf with a giant mythic erection. You can be a vampire with a majestic pale pillar of undead man-meat. You can be a Promethean with a hundred turgid wangs stitched together to create an uber-wang crackling with nascent electricity.

Your tumescence is legendary."