Phoebe: I thought I was gonna see a film about, y'know, Yankee pride! And then — boom! — the guy gets Lou Gehrig's disease.
Richard: Uh... the guy was Lou Gehrig. Didn't you kinda see it coming?
"Now we spend the next hour and a half playing the bloody waiting game!"
"Shhh. Haven't seen it yet. Don't. Ruin. The. Ending."
— Brad Shoup on Titanic, Stylus Magazine
"Have you seen the The Passion yet? Here's a spoiler for you: Jesus dies."
— Gabe from Penny Arcade Hilariously, he's wrong.
"From forth the fatal loins of these two foes
A pair of star-cross'd lovers take their life;
Whose misadventur'd piteous overthrows
"So the kids enter the sewer to fight the clown. This is really suspenseful because I have no idea who's going to make it out alive except for all of them."
"Oh, come on! This isn't a spoiler! The very first image in the game is a brief flash-forward depicting your character's helmet lying discarded in the dust and battle-scarred terrain; what the fuck do you think happens at the end? Your character thrillingly and climatically gets a little bit hot?"
"But the main problem is that because it's based on a real shop, opened by a real man, there's not much real jeopardy. So the opening episode was a nail-biting tale of 'Will he or won't he open the shop?' when you know he did, then we had 'Will he or won't he open a perfume counter?' which you also know he did. And recently we had 'Is he or isn't he dead?' when you know he won't be. It's a bit like a whodunnit called 'Colin is Guilty.'"
Pig: Hey, Goat... whatcha reading?
Goat: This biography of Abe Lincoln.
Pig: Does it explain very much about his assassination or—oops.
Pig: Spoiler alert.
Gary: It also sounds like we took the long route to a foregone conclusion.
Grace: Eh. The fewer vestiges of self-esteem you have left, the farther you'll go to protect them.
—>—The Word Weary, #208
Wolverine: I've already had three X-Men films, and now I'm gettin' a prequel.
Comedian: Oh, I can't wait to see what happens! Wait, I know: you live to make three X-Men movies.