Way back when I was just a little bitty boy, living in a box under the stairs in the corner of basement of the house just half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait Shop - you know the place. Well, back then life was going swell and everything was just PEACHY! Except of course for the undeniable fact that every single morning, my mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast. A BIG BOWL OF SAUERKRAUT! EVERY SINGLE MORNING! It was driving me crazy! So I said to her, "hey, Mom, what's up with all the sauerkraut?" And my dear, sweet mother, she just looked at me like a cow looks at an oncoming train. And she leaned right down next to me and said, "IT'S GOOD FOR YOU!!!" And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth and force-fed me nothing but sauerkraut until I was twenty-six and a half years old.