Quotes / Flat-Earth Atheist

Bartleby: Y'know, here's what I don't get about you. You know for a fact that there is a God. You've been in His presence, He's spoken to you personally— yet I just heard you claim to be an atheist.
Loki: I just like to fuck with the clergy, man. I just love it, I love to keep those guys on their toes.

I'm an agnostic, Divine One.

'They know I don't believe in them, so they know I'm not trying to suck up.
Cleric, 8-Bit Theater

Abbott: I know there's no such person as Dracula. You know there's no such person as Dracula.
Costello: But does Dracula know it?

Iíve always thought it was interesting that in the comic, Tycho maintains his atheism in spite of the fact that he hangs out with Jesus all the time.
Gabe, Penny Arcade

Like all good comic book scientists, Doctor Shark is willing to ignore massive swaths of his own inexplicable universe.

They dont necsasarrily [sic] need to worship the god that cursed them. Who told you such a thing is impossible? I've had atheist vampires, though how to not believe in god if he has personally cursed you is beyond me.
Found on the Bay 12 forums

Michael Palin: I'm sorry to say I'm not sure I believe in you any more.
God: Oh, well, I suppose that's the sort of intellectual, fashionable thing of the moment, isn't it.
Michael Palin: Hope you're not offended.
God: [Genially] Oh, good lord, no. 'God is love', and so on.

Brian: Ah, the story of Jesus. Very moving. And fictional.
Stewie: He lived with us for like a week! What more do you need?
Family Guy, "Jesus, Mary and Joseph!"

Stewie: So Brian, you still an atheist now that Dad's met God?
Brian: Stewie, who knows who he met? Every time we go to Disney World, he thinks Mickey Mouse just happened to be there that day.
Family Guy, "3 Acts of God"

Om: And Brave Too, To Declare Atheism Before Your God.
Simony: This doesn't change anything you know, don't think you can get round me by existing!

"Oh, I see you've spent some time in Hey Deze. As a cautiously seeking agnostic, I'm not sure I believe in Hey Deze, even though people go there all the time and bring back souvenirs."
The Pretentious Artist, Kingdom of Loathing

Lynne: I don't believe in a "sixth sense." It's not scientific.
Sissel: (...Says the ghost.)

Samirah: I still donít accept the idea that the Norse gods are gods. Theyíre just powerful beings. Some of them are my annoying relatives. But they are no more than creations of Allah, the only god, just like you and I are.
Magnus: You remember Iím an atheist, right?
Samirah: Sound's like the beginning of a bad joke, doesn't it? An atheist and a Muslim walk into a pagan afterlife.

Rempo: How dare a sorceress compare her powers to ours! Ridiculous! Listen. Human spells are made by a fake power. The book's power is different!
Didja Redo: "Fake power." Except it's not fake, because it clearly does things. We just saw it. Please use words that mean what you mean.
Let's Play Avalon Code: A Guide to Wasting Awesome Ideas[1]

"I don't believe in God. Met a few, didn't believe in them either."

"That's why the Dwemer are the weirdest race in Tamriel and, frankly, also the scariest. They look(ed) like us, they sometimes act(ed) like us, but when you really put them under the magnifying glass you see nothing but vessels that house an intelligence and value system that is by all accounts Beyond Human Comprehension. (...) There isn't even a word to describe the Dwarven view on divinity. They were atheists on a world where gods exist."