Quotes: Fauxtivational Poster

Pointy-Haired Boss: Wally, the status report you emailed me is blank.
Wally: That's because eagles can't type.
PHB: What?
Wally: The motivational poster in the break room says I should be like an eagle.
PHB: The point of that poster is that your spirit should soar like an eagle while you continue to do mundane work.
Wally: Wouldn't I die if my spirit left my body to go soar?
PHB: You're confusing your spirit with your soul. While your spirit is soaring, your soul should remain trapped in your body, slowly decaying while you create your status report.
Wally: Would it change anything if I got a poster that says "You want it when?!!"

If a pretty poster and a cute saying are all it takes to motivate you, you probably have a very easy job. The kind robots will be doing soon.

Marshall: "Conformity: It's the one who's different that gets left out in the cold." This is a motivational poster?!