Quotes / Fan Disservice

Film — Live-Action

"Alright, that's enough, Fat Bastard. As much as I like seeing Powers in agony (and I do), the thought of you naked is just gross."
Dr. Evil, Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me

Literature
If a corpse already liquid with decay had risen from the grave, smeared lipstick on its gums, and attempted a flirtation, the result could not have been more appalling.
The Narrator of The Great Divorce on a ghost attempting to seduce a Bright One.
Magazines

Hsu: Besides, this is the gaming audience, the most supportive audience in the world. If worst comes to worst I just picture all of them in their underwear.
(Hsu walks up to the podium to give his speech)
Hsu: I—
Obese cosplayer in the audience: Wanna see our underwear?
Hsu: My mind has just died.

Video Games

Maurice: Hey, hey, hey! Watch your language! This is radio, we have regulations about that sort of thing!
Jan: But you let a naked man on.
Maurice: Eh, he's behind a screen. You can't see him; He's not that exciting. Imagine a flabby guy with a pony tail and a nasty rash. You'll get the picture.
Jan: Imagine one? I married one.
Pressing Issues, GTA Radio

Web Original

"Louis Gossett is strutting around a table in way too tight Dockers shaking his ass back and forth like Shakira. And I looked. God help me, I looked. I knew I shouldn't have, but I did. How could I not? His ass was right in the middle of the screen swinging back and forth like I was watching some weird table dance by Reginald Veljohnson. Part of me will never return."

"This week: Magneto fully embraces Casual Fridays on Asteroid Mů maybe a little too casual."
Chris Sims on ''X-Men, "Sanctuary, Part 1"

"At last, on February 22, 1999, the world's fate was sealed. A sight is witnessed on this date that is so disgusting that any human being who witnesses it would immediately lose any trace of sanity. Bess was seen naked."
N106, Bad Webcomics Wiki

"This is objectively a sexy photograph, but holy hell does it make me want to die."
Corin Deeth III, Kakos Industries

Web Video

"YOU ARE A NIGHTMARE MADE FLESH! You have passed 'Coyote Ugly' and have entered into some Twilight Realm beyond! If a man woke up in bed with you, he would happily chew through his own neck! No no no no no, don't give me that, he would find a way!"
SFDebris on post-op transsexual Quark, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine ("Profit and Lace")

"Remember the good times of La-Mulana. The laughs, the cries, the experiences of a wonderful adventure game before it went freaking berserk and showed me wearing a skimpy swimsuit and I got made fun of by Duracuets. What a... what a lame thing to do."

"Never thought I'd say this, but...this scene involving a nude Kirsten Dunst being bathed by another woman is the least erotic thing I've ever seen."
Kyle Kallgren, on Melancholia note 

Real Life

"I don't do horror films."
James Garner, asked if he would ever shoot a nude scene

"The crew was convulsed with laughter, and they kept showing each other cigarette stubs and winking as they did so, as if to say that was the size of my skittle. Camera crews are renowned for their unkindness in these matters."
Tom Baker on the making of The Canterbury Tales (1972)

"I've always wanted to see Serge Lifar. Now I have. And it's all true..."

"What is true?"

"He is every bit as bad—no, dreadful—as I've always heard." Even I could tell that the flabby-buttocked man onstage was, if not bad, oddly repellant as he struck his poses. Year later, Nureyev said that when he was in charge of the Paris Opera Ballet, his most difficult task was to exorcise the malign ghost of Lifar."
Gore Vidal, Palimpsest

"You didn't have to drop your boxers just to show us that."
Lyra Heartstrings (Friendship Is Magic) in response to Nyx posting a pic of his hairy legs, Bronyism


http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Quotes/Fandisservice