HEY! HELLO! LISTEN! HELLO! HEY! WATCH OUT! HELLO! LISTEN! HEY! HEY! HEY! LISTEN! WATCH OUT!
Now listen to me, if everyone was critical about everything all the time, the world would be a dull place. So let's start with the positives: At least it gave me a millisecond's preview of the game before SHOVING A HINT IN MY FUCKIN' FACE
Next thing, I'm in an 8-bit platformer getting nagged by Naggi the Patronizing Firefly. "press A to jump"? thanks, you're a fucking genius. now leave me alone."
My 8-bit self says it all.
It could be that the average Joe Scumfuck is now tech-literate enough that we no longer need a Baby's First Console to slowly and patiently introduce to the dumb-dumbs all the wonders of the magic glowing box.
Mega Man! Mega Man! There's a hole in the zipline that you— (Egoraptor punches Roll in the jaw) Egoraptor: No, SHADDAP!!
I don't NEED
you! Because look: the game shows me what it is! Before I even feel confident enough to jump down, another platform moves over, and WHOOSH! OKAY!
So, there you go! I fall to my death. I'm glad I knew that, so it wasn't fuckin'...shoved down my throat by a... robot or whatever!!