HEY! HELLO! LISTEN! HELLO! HEY! WATCH OUT! HELLO! LISTEN! HEY! HEY! HEY! LISTEN! WATCH OUT!
Now listen to me, if everyone was critical about everything all the time, the world would be a dull place. So let's start with the positives: At least it gave me a millisecond's preview of the game before SHOVING A HINT IN MY FUCKIN' FACE
It could be that the average Joe Scumfuck is now tech-literate enough that we no longer need a Baby's First Console to slowly and patiently introduce to the dumb-dumbs all the wonders of the magic glowing box.
This game could've been good, almost awesome, but half the time you're not even playing the game; you're just wading through text boxes.
"use the jump button to get over the rock
"? This game treats you like an idiot!
You can't do anything!
Every step you take, the game pauses and another text block comes up! It's like Castlevania II: Simon's Quest
x1000. It's like they took the most annoying part
of one game and it made it a whole
game twenty years later. This game is so recent, it came out after I already critiqued Simon's Quest
Couldn't anybody learn? I was already 11 episodes in by the time this shit hit the market, in October 2006!
Mega Man! Mega Man! There's a hole in the zipline that you— (Egoraptor punches Roll in the jaw) Egoraptor: No, SHADDAP!!
I don't NEED
you! Because look: the game shows me what it is! Before I even feel confident enough to jump down, another platform moves over, and WHOOSH! OKAY!
So, there you go! I fall to my death. I'm glad I knew that, so it wasn't fuckin'...shoved down my throat by a... robot or whatever!!