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Quotes: Evil Matriarch
As Bobby was dying in Los Angeles, a sister rang their mother to report on his condition. Rose's response was swift: "Now, Teddy must run." For crude Rose, this world is just a staging area for that great touch-football field in the sky, where all the lads will be reunited forever. Although, according to the strict ground rules of Rose's faith, if father Joe was going to be in on the game, the playing field would have to be located somewhere below rather than above.
Gore Vidal on the Kennedy clan

"I began to lift out three or four large cans of paint from the backseat, which was also crammed with ten newly-sharped hoes I had collected. 'Never mind the paint! There's clearing up to do first!' screeched the old witch. 'It's time for real work again!' ...I reached the bundle, and fell out the back of the car, and drawing one hoe, I took aim at the screeching old bitch and hurled it straight toward her face. But old she-devils don't die that easy. She ducked and turned to look where the hoe had landed, and scurried to pick it up and defend herself. 'Who bought that shirt you're wearing?!' she wailed as she stooped to pick up the hoe—and as she did so, she ripped off a tremendous fart. That should have eased the tension and perhaps saved my mind, too. But no. She straightened up and, turning towards me, she said, 'You're common and disgusting, too!' As if it was me who'd farted! That did it. Hoe after hoe flew towards her. I was utterly frantic, but not one got to her. She ducked and weaved and skipped and pantied, and all the while shrieking, 'Take that shirt off, you kept man! Kept man!' And like a banshee, I ran screaming across the field to where I lived about a mile away."
Tom Baker on his mother-in-law, Who On Earth is Tom Baker?

"She is a lady indeed, although my limited experience of her suggests that she is also a mixture of the warrior queen Boadicea without the chariot, Catherine de' Medici without the poisoned rings, and Attila the Hun without his wonderful sense of fun. Do not play cards with her, because she cheats like a Mississippi bustout dealer, keep sherry away from her, do everything she says, and we might all live."
Terry Pratchett, Nation

"You're evil, Ma."
Nathan Petrelli, Heroes

Hawke: (on Morrigan) I'm not sure whether she's your daughter or your enemy.
Flemeth: Neither is she.
Hawke learns that not all apostate families are as loving as theirs, Dragon Age II

"A woman can be a powerful force, like my mother... Or a destructive one. Like my mother."
Captain de Santa, Red Dead Redemption

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