"Ahh! Something's trying to kill me! It's the best day ever!"
— The Chief of Knothole Glade's Son, Fable I.
"There's this part in the game where you lose all your extreme powers and have to go on a bunch of escort missions, but don't play that part of the game. That part sucks."
— Johnny X-Treme, about his (fake) game, Johnny's X-Treme Adventure, X-Play
"I know what you're thinking. This sounds like an escort mission. Well, deal with it!"
— Sergeant Abraham "Grandpa" Simpson, The Simpsons Game
And boy were all the rumors about unreliable adventurers true. I'd heard that many, many escorted people die when their adventurer flees and protects himself. It is TRUE. Once I got an escort, I headed off in the right direction immediately. However, for some reason, he did not immediately follow, let alone lead. Didn't he know the way to go? Foolish man. Why am I offering my special trainings to someone who doesn't even know where the local portals are!
—Loremaster Verutir, Tales of Maj'Eyal
Using the word "escort" to describe core game-play is like using the words "bloody and viscous" to describe a urine sample.