Laconic Main Quotes main index Narrative
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Washington: That was the worst throw. Ever. Of all time. Caboose: Not my fault. Someone put a wall in my way. ...your job is to conceal something that genuinely doesn't exist, and you discover a way to fail at it.
—Llewellyn from Ozy And Millie on the UFO conspiracy  .
I can't get over that; how do you hit a mountain?
—Adrian Monk, referring to a submarine in Mr. Monk Is Underwater
Not that I'm complaining about it, but... HOW DO YOU MISS A VOLCANO?!
—Thief, 8-Bit Theater
"Wow, Fighter. You don't half-ass screwing up, do ya?"
—Black Mage, 8-Bit Theater
Why can't my successes ever be as spectacular as my failures?
Jason, FoxTrot
My god! That's like if you tried to make scrambled eggs and instead you caught syphilis!
[...T]here are speedruns [of this game] on Youtube in under a minute. YOU CALL THAT GOOD PROGRAMMING?!
"You missed! With a cannon!"
Tremors 4
How do you get a note from the teacher on the last day of school?
Mrs. Summers, Least I Could Do
It is pretty impressive that you managed to combine so many ingredients and it came out tasting like nothing.
"He burnt my fries!''
"He burnt my krabby patty!"
"He burnt my shake!"
—Various extras, SpongeBob SquarePants
"I didn't know you could burn juice."
—Rarity, My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic
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