"My tragic tale I won't prolong and if you did not enjoy my song
You've yourselves to blame if it's too long
You should never have let me begin"
Lemme tell you something, if Peter Jackson
really wanted to blow me away with those [The Lord of The] Rings
movies, he would have ended the third one on the logical closure point, not the twenty-five endings that followed.
This thing is like a Hydra! You cut off one ending, two more
grow in its place!!
And then we get three — count ‘em, THREE! — endings! It’s like Clue
, if Clue were hyperviolent, full of profanity, and not that great!
A good story is like a good bowel movement: it's only really satisfying once it's ended, because if you just keep going eventually your body runs out of shit and moves on to pushing all your internal organs out your sphincter until only a foul smelling shell remains and anyone who wants to get into your incredibly long poo gets turned off because they have to go through all the poo up until that point to have the necessary context.
They managed to write in a few smart jabs about what a shallow, pointless, and purely emotional victory
it actually was. Lucky Quinn lived a long and comfortable life
as a mob boss, while Aiden's years are surely numbered
since the whole city (on both sides of the law) are after him. So you also get some nice food for thought while you make your way through a crazy-difficult cop chase that tests everything you've learned
up to that point. That hotel mission, from beginning to end, is an explosive blaze of glory that explains everything you need to know about the revenge story that begins the game
— but does not end
Just when you escape from those cops, the game suddenly remembers all those other
characters it brought up earlier, and it does a much sloppier rush job of wrapping up their arcs...This game just keeps going and going. It doesn't even wanna stop when it's halfway through the credits!
It would've been fine — it would've been stronger! — if they'd wrote in the ending when the actual
climax and the actual final boss
happened. But it keeps going for like an hour after that, and it just gets harder to take it seriously the longer that climax goes on. It's like the quality of the game climbed up a really high flight of stairs toward the end, and then someone kicked it right back down.
Somewhere, around the hour-and-a-half mark, The Lone Ranger makes the fateful decision not to end. Worse, the movie keeps not-ending for another full hour.
"THERES STILL A MINUTE AND A HALF LEFT I DONT
The movie was seemingly over. I can’t really explain a whole lot without spoilers, but what was happening to the characters, what they were saying, the fact that there was, I don’t know, a major plot point resolved, all pointed to the credits rolling any second. But no, I had to sit through more.
"There's a fine line between entertainment and a hostage situation"
"AUDIENCE: Wait, what's going on? The movie ended when they found the missing girl. Why aren't credits rolling? Was I supposed to be caring about Cräig's career the whole time? [...] No. The movie is over. Stop ending. Stop it, Fincher."