Nick: "Who's Jack?"

Tawaki: "C. S. Lewis. You try going by the name of Clive Staples sometime."

777: "Daisukenojo"

Beat: "Bwahh!"

Well my daddy left home when I was three
And he didn't leave much to ma and me,
Just this ol' guitar and an empty bottle of booze.
Now I don't blame him 'cause he run and hid,
But the meanest thing that he ever did
Was before he left, he went and named me 'Sue'.

"This Marmaduke business. I want to take that up with you some time. Fancy you keeping that dark all these years."
"There's nothing wrong with being christened Marmaduke." said Chuffy, a little heatedly.
"Nothing wrong, no. But we shall all have a good laugh about it at the Drones."
"Bertie," said Chuffy tensely, "if you breath a word of it to those blighters at the Drones, I'll track you to the ends of the earth and strangle you with my bare hands."

There are only two ways a child can go with a name like Pippin Galadriel Moonchild, and Pepper had chosen the other one.

Gumshoe: [To Phoenix] Anyway, get the name right. And don't go calling me "Dick"...

Police: Hey, Dick! Get over here!

Gumshoe: Y-yes, sir!

You shouldn't name a boy "Cyril" or "Percy", because the other boys will want to punch him repeatedly in the mouth, and I can't say as I blame them. And you shouldn't give a girl's name a cute spelling, such as "Cyndi", because no matter how many postgraduate degrees she gets she will never advance any further than clerk-typist.

Sonic: If you don't get out of here right now, I'll tell everyone your real name is "Miles"!

Tails: No! Not that!