Quotes / Embarrassing First Name

Nick: Who's Jack?
Tawaki: C. S. Lewis. You try going by the name of Clive Staples sometime.

777: Daisukenojo
Beat: Bwahh!

Well my daddy left home when I was three
And he didn't leave much to ma and me,
Just this ol' guitar and an empty bottle of booze.
Now I don't blame him 'cause he run and hid,
But the meanest thing that he ever did
Was before he left, he went and named me 'Sue'.
Johnny Cash, "A Boy Named Sue"

"This Marmaduke business. I want to take that up with you some time. Fancy you keeping that dark all these years."
"There's nothing wrong with being christened Marmaduke." said Chuffy, a little heatedly.
"Nothing wrong, no. But we shall all have a good laugh about it at the Drones."
"Bertie," said Chuffy tensely, "if you breath a word of it to those blighters at the Drones, I'll track you to the ends of the earth and strangle you with my bare hands."

"There are only two ways a child can go with a name like Pippin Galadriel Moonchild, and Pepper had chosen the other one."

Gumshoe: [to Phoenix] Anyway, get the name right. And don't go calling me "Dick"...
Police: Hey, Dick! Get over here!
Gumshoe: Y-yes, sir!
Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney, "Turnabout Sisters"

"You shouldn't name a boy 'Cyril' or 'Percy', because the other boys will want to punch him repeatedly in the mouth, and I can't say as I blame them. And you shouldn't give a girl's name a cute spelling, such as 'Cyndi', because no matter how many postgraduate degrees she gets she will never advance any further than clerk-typist."
Dave Barry, Babies and Other Hazards of Sex: How to Make a Tiny Person in Only 9 Months, with Tools You Probably Have around the Home

Sonic: If you don't get out of here right now, I'll tell everyone your real name is "Miles"!
Tails: No! Not that!

Steve: Hello, Schmuley.
Snot: The fuck did you just call me?
American Dad!, "Moon Over Isla Island"

Rachel: I was thinking, if it's a girl, how about Sandrine? It's French.
Ross: Huh. That's a really pretty name... for an industrial solvent.
Friends, "The One Where Chandler Takes a Bath"

"Wait... that's my name? Seriously? oh my goooooood"
Princess Mamoru Moonshine Jagermeister Jack Jack Daniels Timothy Tim Bill Freddy Mercury Blueberry Luna, Esquire (recently renamed), Kill Six Billion Demons

The Doctor: What's your name?
Osgood: (confused) ...Osgood.
The Doctor: No no no no, your first name.
Osgood: What's your first name?
The Doctor: Basil.
Osgood: ...Petronella.
The Doctor: Let's just, ah... Stick with what we had.
Doctor Who, "The Zygon Inversion"

Storkules: From henceforth, you shall be known as "Hubert, Tamer of Winds" and "Llewellyn, Fighter or Storms".
Huey: Awesome!
Louie: Please do not say my real name out loud!
DuckTales (2017), "The Spear of Selene!"