"You need characters that you care about, and you need emotional investment. And then the action and special effects and the slime and the aliens and the coolness is the icing on the cake. But you need a cake to put icing on it. You can't just eat the frosting, or else, uh, it's too sugary and it's bad for you, and you get the diabetes."
—Half in the Bag, Alien vs. Predator rifftrack
"The characters have been 'introduced' but by no means 'established'. I know Final Fantasy has always been big on in medias res, but even the most basic questions about the plot remain unanswered! Who the fuck are these people?! What is going on?! Why should I care?! Can I stop playing now, please??"
—Zero Punctuation on Final Fantasy XIII
Matt: The plot of this movie is nonsense, but the bigger sin it commits is that I donít even care that itís nonsense... When I was 10, I hated this movie because it was boring. 20 years later, itís still boring. The turtles are idiots. Thereís no real threat. And the villains are a stock feudal lord and a sort-of pirate guy/profiteer. They donít do anything interesting or have any personality to speak of. Theyíre just there.
Chris: Theyíre not even that bad! The worst thing Walker does is jack up the price on his guns, so heís more of a scummy businessman than a supervillain.
—Chris Sims and Matt Wilson on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III
"Ten minutes. That was literally the moment where I said 'Oh no.'...it encapsulates perfectly how the rest of the movie is going to fail. It is a scene where (Woody) Allen and (Helen) Hunt are in a restaurant trying to establish their work relationship... You watch this scene play out and you are painfully aware of the disconnect between what should be there and what actually is there. You should see two sexy actors who are exchanging pithy barbs at one another and who are trying their best to conceal their attraction to one another. What we get is a pervy old man and a shrill secretary bicker and bicker and bicker and bicker until the scene mercifully ends. But it doesnít end, because you still have the rest of the movie to go."
—Miles Antwiler on The Curse Of The Jade Scorpion
"And there you have the biggest fault of the movie. We now know the events of the first movie were to determine who gets to go back to Zeist. What a nice prize. Zeist looks like a dustball, and it's ruled by a dictator to boot. It's populated by idiots. All that scope and majesty was for a ticket to Zeist? This is a tremendous comedown. The first movie gave the impression of a battle of cosmic consequences. Now it looks like a battle to see who will win the crown of Miss Teen Dayton, Ohio. Who gives a toss?"
—Jabootu on Highlander II: The Quickening
"(Michael) Bay decided to shoot this entire movie as some disgustingly inappropriate raunchy comedy. I have never seen a movie where the human characters were specifically written to be as aggressively annoying as possible since Freddy vs. Jason. I'm not being sarcastic when I say it's almost like Bay wants us to cheer for the Decepticons to kill everyone, and wonder why Optimus Prime is so devoted to preserving human life when every human we see is invariably a shrill, mincing little cretin. I prayed for a full twenty minutes for Optimus Prime to run over Sam's parents and back over them repeatedly when the film decided to indulge in a lengthy conversation about masturbation."
—Noah Antwiler on Transformers
"Donít get me wrong; these guys arenít the next Seltzerberg. In fact, theyíre something more insidious. Because they donít write movies for audiences. They write movies for studio executives and directors and accountants and other producers like themselves. Their scripts are soulless, by-the-numbers efforts that can always be counted on to play it safe. In the cases where their movies succeed, itís in spite of their scripts, not because of them. While watching a Kurtzman/Orci film, one has no emotional investment in anything occurring onscreen. Things happen for two hours, and sometimes quite loud things happen, and then they stop happening and everyone goes home."
—The Agony Booth, "Kurtzman and Orci to direct (and ruin) Venom and Star Trek 3"
"This is a Superman show where Green Arrow is more of a character, because Superman himself is forced to be static. And itís obvious that everyone involved has realized this. Thatís why theyíve introduced Green Arrow, and the JSA, and all those other guys, because the only alternative is a show about Clark Kent not being Superman, and who in the hell wants to watch that?"
——ComicsAlliance on Smallville ("Finale")
"The Sopranos does 12 or 13 episodes a season. They're all very well written, very much in character, and part of a prolonged arc...I don't like the characters. Any of them. I don't agree with any of them. This alone makes it hard for me to watch. But the characterization is so superb, every minute is so relative to the forward character motion of all involved, it's hard to look away. It's like reading a thousand page novel on something most would find mundane and reprehensible... Smallville does 22 episodes a year, half of which are now mostly filler.
Unfortunately, Smallville's characters are largely, barring Chloe and sometimes Clark and Martha, reprehensible without any kind of consistent character, even Lex."
—Neal Bailey on Smallville ("Hypnotic")
"An awkward pilot, and coupled with Day One on its opening night was almost enough to drive everybody away from Torchwood for good...My real issue with Everything Changes isnít the childishness of its nature but how none of the characters are especially likable. If Davies really is a fan of Joss Whedonís work then he really hasnít taken notes on his ability as creator of a agreeable company Ė Whedonís gift is giving the audience a way in to an absurd premise like Buffy through hilarious, flawed but fundamentally decent characters. Davies in comparison fills his show to bursting with unpleasant people; morally bankrupt, egotistical, smug and self important. They arenít people that you would want to spend any amount of time with and that is a real problem when you are trying to endorse a pilot for a longer series."
—Doc Oho on Torchwood, "Everything Changes"