"Laugh and laugh 'til all the chameleons turn black
Laugh and laugh 'til you're told 'Please don't come back'"
— The Tragically Hip, "World Container"
"It needs more funny, and less make-me-angry."
— Kaff Tagon, Schlock Mercenary
Hilda: Hhhh. Dios Mio. They’re murdering crossword-makers now. Amy, do the police have any leads?
Amy: They say it was a random junkie mugger. I almost believe them, but the timing, Hilda… you know what he was working on…
Hilda: Rely on this, Amy. You were right to call me. There is a pattern at work here…(puts on her glasses) and ours is the pen to fill it.
Marc: Har! YEAHHHHH!
Di: Ahhmmm, this is a murder scene.
Marc: I though you were doing a CSI: Miami riff. You know, with the pun. And the glasses.
Di: That still wouldn’t make it okay.
Marc: I’m a little tired…
"Did somebody just boo me because I implied Heath Ledger was dead?"
— Tommy Teirnan
"You've gone entirely too far! Comedy is comedy, but this, this is... Monstrous!"
— Philo Pennysworth (a chicken) on making an episode on Colonel Sanders.
"That wasn't funny, SpongeBob! You had us all worried sick!"
— Sandy Cheeks after SpongeBob faked his death
"You can laugh of everything, but not with everybody."
— Pierre Desproges
"Once, in a break, I told him I'd thought of a funny line about someone but I was afraid it might be too sharp. He drummed on his desk with a long pencil and frowned: 'If you ever have the slightest doubt about a line don't say it.' The best advice."
"For every Asian and every human being, we apologize for that scene"
— Mike Nelson after the seance scene in The Wild World of Batwoman
"It's nice to know I went too far and there's a room full of people saying, 'Yes, you did.'"
"Wow. That’s offensive and unfunny. It’s like a female Jeff Dunham."
"While on television, A Town Called Mercy. It is easy to find fault with this story. This does not, however, make it any less worth doing. First and most simply is, of course, Susan, the trans mare. This marks the second time Toby Whithouse has completely fucked up trans representation (the first being his gobsmackingly transphobic bit of dialogue for Jack in Greeks Bearing Gifts over on Torchwood)...One might argue that the intent was good, although I think you run aground pretty quickly when you realize that thus far all trans representation on Doctor Who has been for the purpose of jokes, which is actually pretty much the opposite of good intentions no matter how much you state it."
"This is why a lot of people didn't like Andy Kaufman — he was often way too committed to the bit. Once people can't tell if it's a joke or serious, then they have to ponder whether they're actually about to get murdered, and I can assure you, if you've never feared for your own life before, it's barely chuckleworthy."
"I had read before about Scott Adams’ various comments that had got him in hot water over the past few years and had people calling him a misogynist... It’s all sort of the Orson Scott Card school of saying something horrible, and then going, What? Why are people being mean to me? Adams explains that people have low reading comprehension and just don’t understand what it was that he said. Except, he said exactly what it is that people think he said, they just don’t appreciate what a hilarious genius he is, obviously."
"ARE. YOU. KIDDING. ME."
Speaking of nightmares, the female scientists are probably going to have nightmares, as the two idiots sneak up to them in their sleep, and.... I.... er.... *watches them practically RAPING them* Er... RAPE and ADULTERY! Because THAT’S funny.... No! That’s NOT funny! That’s absolutely HORRIFYING! Those poor two scientists are probably going to be MENTALLY scarred after this.
Apparently, he was turned into gatorbags. Isn't. That. Hilarious? No. No it's not. It's sick and wrong, you fucking morons.
—The Mysterious Mr. Enter on Animated Atrocities #04: Johnny's Royal Flush