Quotes: Dude, Not Funny!


Laugh and laugh 'til all the chameleons turn black
Laugh and laugh 'til you're told 'Please don't come back'
The Tragically Hip, "World Container"

It needs more funny, and less make-me-angry.
Kaff Tagon, Schlock Mercenary

Di: Ahhmmm, this is a murder scene.
Marc: I though you were doing a CSI: Miami riff. You know, with the pun. And the glasses.
Di: That still wouldnít make it okay.
Fans!, ĒCrossoverĒ, chapter 1.

Did somebody just boo me because I implied Heath Ledger was dead?
Tommy Teirnan

You've gone entirely too far! Comedy is comedy, but this, this is... Monstrous!
Philo Pennysworth (a chicken) on making an episode on Colonel Sanders.

Real Life

You can laugh of everything, but not with everybody.
Pierre Desproges

Freedom does not mean license.
Erich Fromm

Once, in a break, I told him I'd thought of a funny line about someone but I was afraid it might be too sharp. He drummed on his desk with a long pencil and frowned: 'If you ever have the slightest doubt about a line don't say it.' The best advice.
Gore Vidal on Johnny Carson, Point to Point Navigation

For every Asian and every human being, we apologize for that scene.
Mike Nelson after the seance scene in The Wild World of Batwoman

It's nice to know I went too far and there's a room full of people saying, 'Yes, you did.'

Wow. Thatís offensive and unfunny. Itís like a female Jeff Dunham.

While on television, A Town Called Mercy. It is easy to find fault with this story. This does not, however, make it any less worth doing. First and most simply is, of course, Susan, the trans mare. This marks the second time Toby Whithouse has completely fucked up trans representation (the first being his gobsmackingly transphobic bit of dialogue for Jack in Greeks Bearing Gifts over on Torchwood)...One might argue that the intent was good, although I think you run aground pretty quickly when you realize that thus far all trans representation on Doctor Who has been for the purpose of jokes, which is actually pretty much the opposite of good intentions no matter how much you state it.

This is why a lot of people didn't like Andy Kaufman — he was often way too committed to the bit. Once people can't tell if it's a joke or serious, then they have to ponder whether they're actually about to get murdered, and I can assure you, if you've never feared for your own life before, it's barely chuckleworthy.

I had read before about Scott Adamsí various comments that had got him in hot water over the past few years and had people calling him a misogynist... Itís all sort of the Orson Scott Card school of saying something horrible, and then going, What? Why are people being mean to me? Adams explains that people have low reading comprehension and just donít understand what it was that he said. Except, he said exactly what it is that people think he said, they just donít appreciate what a hilarious genius he is, obviously.

I always thought that anyone watching those Comedy Central roasts knows to leave their pearl clutching pearls in the jooree box, because pretty much anything goes and many of those hos who take the mic are out to shock and offend. I mean, during the Pamela Anderson roast, evil bitches made fun of Godís spirit sister Bea Arthur and I thought that was against all laws of everything. But I guess some jokes are too much for Comedy Central. During Saturday nightís taping of the Justin Bieber roast, which was the latest stop on his ďI Swear Iím No Longer A Split Open Anus WartĒ tour, seasoned roaster Jeff Ross and SNLer Pete Davidson both made jokes about Paul Walkerís death, because Ludacris, whoís in those Fast & Furious movies, was there. The Hollywood Reporter says that the jokes bombed and Ludacris was pissed....Since Comedy Central is editing out stuff they think is too offensive and crosses the line, Iím guessing theyíre going to completely edit out Justin Bieber and his drowned long-haired guinea pig hair. Because his entire existence is offensive to humanity.
Michael K., "Comedy Central Is Scrubbing Out All The Paul Walker Jokes From Justin Bieberís Roast"

During a tag team match between Kofi Kingston & R-Truth and the Prime Time Players (Titus O'Neal and Darren Young), the PTP's manager Abraham Washington, who was hooked up a live mic, yelled out while Titus was in control "My boy Titus is like Kobe Bryant in a Colorado hotel, unstoppable!". While hilarious, the joke was considered by many to be too edgy and he apologized via Twitter. TMZ, of course, ran with the story, while at the same time flogging pictures of female celebrities in accidental stages of undress. Stay classy TMZ.
Taimapedia on Raw 6.20.12

Jay: Nick Dinsmore himself is actually a decent wrestler, but I fucking can't stand him playing an oblivious retard—a dimwitted fuck—on TV. I guess it's supposed to appeal to children...But I find it highly offensive, having some guy using mental disability as a gimmick, some low-rent, Punch and Judy exploitative bullshit. This is my ultra "go away" heat gimmick, I absolutely can't stand it, It's disgusting, and fuck you Vince.
V1: [dazed] It's...one of the worst angles... they've ever done. I understand they were tryin' to aim towards a kid market, but I think even the youngest and most naive of children can see through this. It's horrific. And there's no possible chance that it was ever going to get over or make money. So they should've done this maybe done this once or twice. "...O-okay, this is fucking awful. We're gonna send ya back down to Florida for 6 months, we're gonna bring ya back up, we're gonna repackage it, and yay." But nah. Fuckin' went with it.
Jay: But—? The way they portray it is disgustin', as well. Like, it's not even a "class clown". It's, "Let's laugh at the simpleton!" The joke is on HIM. "Ha ha!" It's so mean-spirited.
V1: If you want to look at it in a non-kayfabe thing, this is a man who's mentally-challenged; he clearly wouldn't have the capability to weigh the risks of being wrestler n' stuff. It's insane to think that a publicly-traded company would ever allow this to EVER happen. I mean, the nearest he'd ever get to "defend" is a Make-A-Wish-Program.
OSW Review on Eugene, Ep.39

Okay. Humor officially over. I am, uh, heh...This is me legitimately disgusted. (sigh) I'll just say it: There's kids involved here. There's childhoods being made mockery of on national TV. It's okay when the adults are getting together, and if they're willing to be adults, and make theatre of their divorce? Like, Ric Flair does that all the time: He has had so many ex-wives and he owes money all over town; he's kind of owned that and made it his own. But he leaves the kids out of it. They're putting the kids out on parade [...] I actually don't have much of a line when it comes to black humor. I've made jokes about Owen Hart and Chris Benoit.

And I shouldn't have. I guess maybe the way I justified it to myself is that those people are dead, and at some point you gotta move on. I know you're offended on that, and I kinda offend myself on that score. But they're dead. It's kinda over.

But with kids—there's what, four, five, six kids involved in this? And they're still around. I don't even think they fully understand what's going on; in fact, watching their faces, it's pretty clear that they don't. They don't understand that mom and dad aren't together anymore and now "Daddy Jeff" is here. This is cruel. This is sick. I've joked about this before, but now I have to ask: have you no shame? really? Is there no depths to which this show will not sink?
Noah Antwiler on TNA iMPACT 2.11.11

Hogan and Nash didn't particularly care for Flair or for the reaction he was garnering from the crowds there, so at seemingly every live Nitro that took place in the region, they would take shots at Flair and how old he was...And never did Flair or his Horsemen look more like total idiots than during the Nitro that took place on September 1, 1997. A week earlier, the Nitro in Columbia, South Carolina, had destroyed all previous ratings records, doing a 4.97 rating for a show built around area legend Arn Anderson's announcement of retirement due to serious neck surgery. The plan for the following week was pretty straightforward. The show would be presented as a tribute to Arn, but halfway through, the nWo was going to do a skit making fun of Am's tremendous speech the week before. All the fans would be outraged... Am was so upset he nearly quit the company, not so much because of the content of the skit, but because of the fact that his family watching at home was devastated by it (the skit touched on Am's alleged alcoholism, and his reaction to this was made worse by the fact that his mother had died of the disease when he was very young).
R. D. Reynolds and Bryan Alvarez, The Death of WCW

Speaking of nightmares, the female scientists are probably going to have nightmares, as the two idiots sneak up to them in their sleep, and.... I.... er.... *watches them practically RAPING them* Er... RAPE and ADULTERY! Because THATíS funny.... No! Thatís NOT funny! Thatís absolutely HORRIFYING! Those poor two scientists are probably going to be MENTALLY scarred after this.
Duckyworth, on the rape scene in Bio-Dome.

Apparently, he was turned into gatorbags. Isn't. That. Hilarious? No. No it's not. It's sick and wrong, you fucking morons.
The Mysterious Mr. Enter on Animated Atrocities #04: Johnny's Royal Flush