Quotes / Drill Sergeant Nasty

"Soldiers, we have come to avenge you, and to give you leaders who will marshal you to victory. We have resolved to seek out, to reward, and to promote the deserving; and to track down all the guilty, whoever they may be.... All commanders, officers, and agents of the government are hereby ordered to satisfy within three days the just grievances of the soldiers. After that interval we will ourselves hear any complaints, and we will offer such examples of justice and severity as the Army has not yet witnessed."
Louis Antoine de Saint-Just, an actual bulletin from The French Revolution.

"You people are too slow! If you were that slow in combat... you would be dead. DEAD."
Gunnery Sergeant Jim Moore, The DI

Shepard: If you want to help Urdnot, you need to get back there. But it would take a real badass to make it back to camp while injured.
Scout: I can do it!
Shepard: You? I said a badass, not some scout whining like a quarian with a tummyache!
Tali: (if present) I'm standing right here!
Scout: I can do it! I'm up! And I'm going to the female camp!
Shepard: Damn right you are! Get back there and show them what you're worth! Go, go!
Scout: Raaaaargh! (Charges off)

Gunnery Sergeant Moore: You burr-headed idiots do not appreciate my cheerful good morning. When my back is turned, you call me bad names. But I won't hear you call me bad names, because if I do, I'll go to the brig! But I'll be thinking about you people all the time. Do you hear me?
Marine Recruits: YES SIR!
Gunnery Sergeant Moore: I can't hear you!
Marine Recruits: YES SIR!
The DI

"Sgt. Levi. You'll have to drill them louder. Absolutely no one can hear you. You'll have to shout! Can't you shout? I took you for such an intelligent person!"
The Captain, On The Barrack Yard, caricature by Heinrich Zille.

"Welcome to the ranch, you little shitbags. I see some of you looking around, takin' it all in. Maybe you're looking for the pool. Guess what? Ain't got one! What we do have is seventy miles of murderous obstacle course, snaking over the most twisted hellscape ever conceived. Pokemon go in. You know what comes out the other side? MOTHERFUCKERS!"

"My name is Gunnery Sergeant Highway and I've drunk more beer and pissed more blood, banged more quiff and busted more ass, than all you numbnuts put together."
Heartbreak Ridge

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: I am Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, your senior drill instructor. From now on, you will speak only when spoken to, and the first and last words out of your filthy sewers will be "sir." Do you maggots understand that?
Recruits: Sir, Yes, Sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Bullshit, I can't hear you! Sound off like you got a pair!
Recruits: SIR, YES, SIR!

"If you ladies leave my island, if you survive recruit training, you will be a weapon. You will be a minister of death praying for war. But until that day, you are pukes. You are the lowest form of life on earth. You are not even human fucking beings! You are nothing but unorganized grabastic pieces of amphibian shit! Because I am hard you will not like me, but the more you hate me, the more you will learn. I am hard, but I am fair. There is no racial bigotry here, I do not look down on niggers, kikes, wops or greasers. Here, you are all equally worthless. And my orders are to weed out all non-hackers who do not pack the gear to serve in my beloved Corps. Do you maggots understand that?"
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Full Metal Jacket, extended version of the page quote from the Drill Sergeant Nasty entry

"Private Pyle, I'm gonna give you three seconds, exactly three fuckin' seconds to wipe that stupid looking grin off your face or I will GOUGE OUT YOUR EYEBALLS AND SKULL-FUCK YOU!"
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Full Metal Jacket

"What have we got here, a fucking comedian? Private Joker? I admire your honesty. Hell, I like you. You can come over to my house and fuck my sister. You little scumbag!"
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Full Metal Jacket just before punching Private Joker in the gut and bringing him to his knees.

"I got your name! I got your ass! You will not laugh, you will not cry, you will learn by the numbers I will teach you. Now get up, get on your feet. You had best unfuck yourself or I will unscrew your head and SHIT DOWN YOUR NECK!"
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Full Metal Jacket just after punching Joker in the gut.

"Are you quitting on me? Well, are you? Then quit, you slimy fucking walrus-looking piece of shit! Get the fuck off of my obstacle! Get the fuck down off of my obstacle! Now! Move it! Or I'm going to rip your balls off, so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world! I will motivate you, Private Pyle, IF IT SHORT-DICKS EVERY CANNIBAL ON THE CONGO!"
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Full Metal Jacket

Forrest Gump: To do whatever you tell me, Drill Sergeant?

Forrest Gump: You told me to, Drill Sergeant?
Drill Sergeant: JESUS H. CHRIST! This is a new company record! If it wouldn't be a waste of such a damn fine enlisted man, I'd recommend you for OCS, Private Gump! YOU ARE GONNA BE A GENERAL SOMEDAY, GUMP, NOW DISASSEMBLE YOUR WEAPON AND CONTINUE!

"I have personally killed 6,078 men in cold blood while looking them in the eye; jumped on 1,455 live grenades; and stuffed fourteen feet of my own intestine back into my stomach. If that doesn't scare you out of your frilly pink leotards, guess what: You are an idiot and you hate America."
The Soldier, Team Fortress 2

"Half-right, FACE! Front-leaning rest position, MOVE!''" note 
Many a Drill Sergeant, Fort Benning, GAnote 

"You better fucking play so good you've never played that good before! Now fucking hit this mob! Hard! The next idiot fuck who goes and aggros something he ain't supposed to is not getting any item for the next two fucking weeks, not to mention 200 minus fucking DKP! Is that enough fucking motivation for you to fucking play proper?!"
Dives, Wipe Club.

"If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight! Sun Tzu said that, and I'd say he knows a little more about fighting than you do, pal, because he invented it! And then he perfected it so that no living man could best him in the ring of honor! Then he used his fight money to buy two of every animal on earth, and then he herded them onto a boat, and then he beat the crap out of every single one! And from that day forward any time a bunch of animals are together in one place it's called a zoo! Unless it's a farm!"
The Soldier, Team Fortress 2

"YOU MOR-OOOOON! You are not to question my orders! When I say jump, YOU JUMP! When I say fight, YOU FIGHT! When I tell to you to die for your country, THEN YOU WILL CERTAINLY DIE! HAVE I MADE MYSELF CLEAR?!"
Sergeant Arch Dornan, Fallout 2

"If I like you, you can call me Sarge. But guess what? I DON'T LIKE YOU!! DO YOU UNDERSTAAAND?!!"
Sergeant Arch Dornan, Fallout 2

"The weapon isn't the problem, Initiate. You just shoot like my goddamn grandmother. Actually, strike that. My Mrs. Gunny was a deadeye."
Paladin Gunny, Fallout 3

Hartman: What's your excuse?
Pvt Cowboy: Sir, excuse for what, sir?
Hartman: I'm asking the fucking questions here private do you understand?
Pvt Cowboy: Sir yes sir!
Hartman: Well thank you very much, can I be in charge for a while?
Pvt Cowboy: Sir yes sir!
Hartman: Are you shook up, are you nervous?
Pvt Cowboy: Sir, I am, sir.
Hartman: Do I make you nervous?
Pvt Cowboy: Sir?
Hartman: Sir what? Were you about to call me an asshole?
Pvt Cowboy: Sir no sir!
Hartman: How tall are you private?
Pvt Cowboy: Sir, 5'9", sir
Hartman: 5'9", I didn't know they stacked shit that high, you trying to squeeze an inch in on me somewhere huh?!
Pvt Cowboy: Sir no sir!
Hartman: BULLSHIT! It looks to me like the best part ran down the crack of your mama's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress. I think you've been cheated! Where in the hell are you from anyway, Private?
Pvt Cowboy: Sir, Texas, sir!
Hartman: HOLY DOGSHIT! Texas? Only steers and queers come from Texas, Private Cowboy, and you don't much look like a steer to me so that kind of narrows it down. Do you suck dicks?
Pvt Cowboy: Sir no sir!
Hartman: Are you a peter puffer?
Pvt Cowboy: Sir no sir!
Hartman: I'll bet you're the kind of guy that would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the god damned courtesy of giving him a reacharound. I'll be watching you!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Full Metal Jacket, showing the new recruits why he is the standard which all other Drill Sergeant Nasties are measured against.

"This is so cool! I get to call that girl maggot!"

Shut up or I will kill you! You hear me? Shut up or I will physically kill you!
Coach Bradley Buzzcutt threatening his students, Beavis And Butthead

Recruits smell and that's no lie
Hate your guts gonna make you cry
Call me smart, call me inspired
You're gonna march 'til I get tired!
Animaniacs, "Boot Camping"

Colon: This, men, is your truncheon. Hand you will look after it. You will eat with hit, you will sleep with hit, you—
Cuddy: How do we eat with it, sergeant? Do we use it as a knife or fork or cut it down the middle for chopsticks or what?
Angua: And how exactly do we sleep with it?
— Sergeant Colon trying to pull of this trope, Men at Arms

Li Shang:
Let's get down to business to defeat the Huns.
Did they send me daughters when I asked for sons?
You're the saddest bunch I ever met, but you can bet before we're through—
Mister, I'll make a man out of you!
Tranquil as a forest, but on fire within.
Once you find your center, you are sure to win.
You're a spineless, pale, pathetic lot, and you haven't got a clue.
Somehow, I'll make a man out of you!
Chien Po: I'm never gonna catch my breath.
Yao: Say goodbye to those who knew me.
Ling: Boy, was I a fool in school for cutting gym.
Mushu: This guy's got 'em scared to death!
Mulan: Hope he doesn't see right through me.
Chien Po: Now I really wish that I knew how to swim!
(Be a man!) You must be swift as a coursing river
(Be a man!) With all the force of a great typhoon
(Be a man!) With all the strength of a raging fire, mysterious as the dark side of the moon!
Li Shang:
Time is racing toward us till the Huns arrive.
Heed my every order and you might survive!
You're unsuited for the rage of war, so pack up, go home, you're through.
How could I make a man out of you?
Mulan, "I'll Make a Man Out of You"

"Look to your left! Look to your right! One of them will not leave here alive!"
Meelo, a five year-old training a group of pacifists, The Legend of Korra

"Are you a real tough guy?!"

Popo: Alright maggots, listen up. Popo's 'bout to teach you the pecking order. It goes you, the dirt, the worms inside the dirt, Popo's stool, Kami, and Popo. Any questions?
Krillin: Uh, yeah, I- (Popo throws him off the Lookout) AAAAAAAGGGGGHHHH! (Krillin Owned Count: 3)
Popo: Enjoy the climb back up, BITCH!. Any more questions? *Beat* Good. Then we can begin.

"If ya ask me, we could win this man's war a lot faster if they'd send you across the channel to train the Nazis! They wouldn't live to see any action!"
Izzy Cohen to Nick Fury, Sgt. Fury and his Howling Commandos #5, "At the Mercy of Baron Strucker" by Stan Lee

Coach Oleander: Is your name Joey?
Raz: No!
Oleander: 'Cause I'm gonna call you 'Slowey Joey'!
Raz: That's not my name!
Oleander: WHAT WAS THAT, SLOWEY?! I can't hear ya, you're TALKIN' TOO SLOW!

Well you see recruit, for some Marines the amount of fuc- *ahem*, forced sodomy, that the military does to us takes its toll in a different way. Instead of retiring, the anger wells up inside of us, to the point where we forget where we come from. We wish for nothing more than to spread this malice and hate to the next generation of boots. And so, a Drill Instructor is born.
Gunnery Sergeant Heartmann, Panzermadels