"I've... I've got your... uh... pizza?"
— The Pizza Delivery Boy, Just a Man, His Car, and a Hot Pizza Pie: Don't Fear the Reaper, Pizza Delivery Guy
"Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your—what? No Romans here? Well then, I guess I'll just have to kill you all."
— Dark Brinner, Interlude: Nobody Doesn't Like Dismemberment
The Right Honorable Corporal John 'Schizo' Dempski: "You really don't remember me, do you, Lieutenant? Lance Corporal John V. Dempski? You don't remember the tarantulas? That warehouse on Mt. Kilamanjaro? You fucking sonuvabitch. You set me up and you killed my wife and you broke my spine and you DON'T REMEMBER MY NAME?!? THE FUCKING SPIDERS, MAN! REMEMBER THE FUCKING SPIDERS???"
Dr. Brinner: "I think you may have me confused with somebody else."
— Night of the Engorged Fruit Fly, Pt. 1
Dr. Brinner: "I love my job."
Teddy Roosevelt: "You and me both, son. You and me both."
— Safari of the Damned
Dr. Brinner: "So... Let me get this straight. You are a robot. You are also a rhinoceros. You are also a dinosaur."
Rhinoferrous Rex: "Yeah, that about covers it."
Dr. Brinner: "Well... fuck."
—Death by Rocket Propelled Goring
Dr. Brinner: "But what if the Gygon Machine was to be destroyed? Wouldn't this universe collapse?"
Mr. Seven: "That's a question most people wonder, but what most people don't know about is that it already has been destroyed years ago, by YOU, Dr. Brinner."
—The Inexplicable Death and Reincarnation of Dr. Brinner Pt. 4