This girl walks into a bar and orders a Double Entendre. So the Bartender gives it to her!
If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
I put the 'in-you' in innuendo.
— Gary Dendthwidth, The Physics of Giving
What red-blooded American male wouldn't want to dock his canoe in Natalie's port, man? (rimshot)
Hinjo: There's not even anyone aboard yet... What's going on here?
Lien: This was Lord Shojo's personal pleasure yacht, though I suppose it belongs to you now. This is your junk.
Hinjo: But why aren't there any citizens aboard it yet?
Lien: Your uncle was a very private person, sir. He forbade anyone from touching his junk.
Hinjo: Well, that ends now. My uncle may have kept his junk to himself, but my junk will be for the people! Are there still evacuees waiting to board a ship?
Lien: Oh, yes, sir. I imagine I'll have no trouble finding people willing to get aboard your junk. It should be able to hold many passengers.
Hinjo: I agree, my junk appears to be quite long...
Roy: Wider than I would have expected, too.
Hinjo: Very well. Lien, you hold my junk here until it is fully loaded.
Lien: That could take some time, Lord Hinjo...
Hinjo: I don't care how long it takes. I don't want my junk to launch prematurely. Now, did you deliver that package for me?
Soldier: Yes, sir. I handled your package personally.
— The Order of the Stick #418, "It's a Type of Boat"
Angus: Busy night, eh?
Hannelore: Yes, very!
Angus: It sure sounded like you were enjoying yourselves.
Hannelore: Oh no, did we keep you up? I tried to be quiet!
Angus: It's cool. It's hard to be quiet when you're that excited.
Hannelore: At first I wasn't really sure what was going on, but Marigold explained everything as we went along, and then I just go carried away, you know?
Angus: I'm impressed you were able to keep up with her all night like that.
Hannelore: Heheh, I'm sorta regretting it now. My butt is all sore!
Marigold: HANNELORE, he's IMPLYING—
Angus: No! Don't say it! You'll break the spell!
Hannelore: (to Marigold) My favorite part was when you took on those four guys at once! And then that giant dog!
"Are you ready to contend with what's in my pants?"
"After I play Buster Brothers I'm gonna bust a nut!"
"I'll show you why they call me Big Dong Donkey Kong."
"Look in my pants and I'll show you why they call it the Playstation."
"I'll show something that's Weltall."
Mama needs her cough medicine. And make it a double, Antandra.
— Jackie Washington, Jackie's Back!
Ann Romano: Damn it, Schneider! I asked you to fix that damn sink two days ago!
Schneider: Oh, I'll fix your sink, Ms. Romano. And by that I mean I'll have sex with you. And by have sex with you, I mean I'll fix your sink. And by "sink," I mean your reproductive organ. And by "reproductive organ", I mean the thing between your knees. And by "the thing between your knees", I...well, I guess that one's kind of self-explanatory.
— Family Guy, "The Son Also Draws"
Let me blow you - away!
You won't believe your eyes and ears today!
You are in for a surprise
When you look into my eyes
You won't be able to deny my gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaze!
Sarge: Wait a minute, Donut, your what?
Donut: Come on, Sarge! You can't deny my deep, penetrating, eye contact! My gaze! What did you think I said?
Sarge: Uh, don't ask.
Donut: Don't tell!
Let me blow you... away!
There is nothing that I will not do or say
To attain a right companion
In this hot and sweaty canyon
Like a stallion I am bursting through the gaaaaaaaaaaaate!
Simmons: A what?
Donut: You know, a stallion, a stud, a horse with a big-
Simmons: Don't say it.
Donut: Saddle! Now, who wants to mount up?
Brock: I'll take care of this. This has been a long time coming. Me and her got to get something straight between us. (leaves)
The Alchemist: You think he even knows how many double entendres that was?
-The Venture Bros. Operation P.R.O.M.
Harvey Copies: We know what you've been up to Elliott — or should I say "The Deadly Duplicator"? Your reproductive days are over!
Even you won't be able to beat off this magnificent schlong.