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Quotes: Don't Try This at Home
"Do not try this at home. Your house isn't nearly tall enough, OK?"
Tutorial Narrator (Bruce Campbell), Spider-Man movie videogame

Jory: We may make this look easy, but trust us, it is.
Jonny: You still shouldn't try it at home, though.

"Kids, don't use Formula One race cars to chase hedgehogs."
Sonic, Sonic X

''"Disclaimer: Please DO NOT test this theory by throwing your cat out a window, an airplane, or whatever. Even if it were to survive the fall, it may not survive landing on something pointy or having its little heart explode. I will NOT have dead kitties on my conscience."
Kevin Bolk. I'm My Own Mascot.

"Now you know how it's done. But I don't recommend that you try it at home. You don't know what to do when something goes wrong.''

‎"...if you were to, like, blenderize a live sea sponge and then leave the sponge smoothie to settle overnight, you'd wake up the next morning to find the surviving cells had found each other and were reforming themselves into a sea sponge again. Try doing THAT with any other animal, actually NO DO NOT TRY DOING THAT WITH ANY OTHER ANIMAL"

"It just occurred to me that mixing medicine and alcohol is a really stupid and possibly lethal thing to do. If I were a real person instead of a lovably inept cartoon character with the potential for a few more sequels... I wouldn't even consider it. Skoal!"

"Before we go any further, I want to emphasize something:
"I am not an authority on lightning safety. I am a guy who draws pictures on the internet. I like when things catch fire and explode, which means I do not have your best interests in mind."
— Randall Munroe, "Lightning", What If?

"disclaimer: i am a cartoonist. if you follow my advice on safety around nuclear materials you probably deserve whatever happens to you."
Alt Text of the third picture on the What If? entry "Spent Fuel Pool"

Kevin: Don't try this at home, kids!
Rolf: This would be impossible, as Rolf would hit the ceiling!
Ed, Edd n Eddy, "See No Ed"

"Vehicles often have additional capabilities that don't normally come into the awareness of roleplayers. But knowledge of these features can help save your skin in difficult adventure situations. For example, if your car breaks down in the desert, (the following is roleplaying game advice only, do not try this in real life) you can drink the water from the radiator.

"If you're a GM you need to be on top of these sorts of things, to make sure you apply them realistically. For example, radiator water will probably have antifreeze or some other toxic chemical additives in it that may not be apparent to anyone trying to drink it. (And if you drink it in real life it will kill you, so don't.)"
The Comics Irregulars, The Rant on Darths & Droids #968

"Just because we're dumbasses don't mean you can be one too. So, don't do any of this *beep* that we do at home."
Opening Narration, Street Outlaws (a show about street racing)

We all know, of course, that we should never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever fiddle around in any way with electric devices. Never. There are two reasons for this. One is that you can get electrocuted, which is not only deadly but very unpleasant, and the other is that you are not Violet Baudelaire, one of the few people in the world who know how to handle such things. And even Violet was very careful and nervous as she unplugged the lamp and took a long look at the plug itself.

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