Jess: This is what she does. This is why she’s scary. Behemoth can turn people to cinders if they’re within two hundred feet of him, Leviathan has sunk or leveled major landmasses. Killed millions in one day. But the Simurgh is the one that scares them all the most. You saw how she fought, the way she dodged and blocked stuff. She sees the future.
Krouse: I kind of guessed that, but-
Jess: No. Listen to me! She showed up in this city in Switzerland. First time. Then after a while, she sings. Starts throwing buildings around, puts a nuclear power plant in critical condition, spreads winds contaminated with radioactive dust, kills some heroes, drives people to riot and panic with her song. Like, okay, that’s Endbringer standard, right? Six months later? A promising scientist commits suicide. Another person tries to blow up a TV station to get back at his girlfriend. Superhero assassinates a prime minister and the next guy to be in charge of that country starts a war. They were all there, when the Simurgh showed up. The superhero’s friends said there was no sign, before his encounter with the Simurgh. He just went downhill, after. There was other stuff, stuff I don’t remember. But it’s all bad.
Luke: I don’t get it.
Jess: It keeps happening. Every time she shows up. Every time, people who’ve heard this song that’s in our head? Things go wrong. They snap, they break, their lives fall apart, or they do something, and it makes something else happen, and there’s a major disaster. That guy who was supposedly making a clean energy source that could power whole cities? His wife and kids got killed and he became a supervillain who made it a life goal to murder anyone who tries to better society with their powers. There were others. Over and over, every time she shows up. She never does quite as much damage as Leviathan or Behemoth, not right away, but stuff always happens later.
Krouse: So she… what? Makes people into murderers?
Jess: No. Not exactly. She doesn’t change how you think. Not directly. It’s more subliminal, like… like cause and effect. Every time she shows up, she picks a few people, turns them into guided missiles, so they make something horrible happen weeks, months or years after they ran into her.
—Jess on why Simurgh is the most dangerous Endbringer, ''Worm.
"Oh, you poor little man. Your papa was mean to you. Do you have ANY idea what you did when you fired that crossbow? You left us open. You laid us bare for the vultures, and the vultures came and tore us apart. You may not have killed Joffrey, but you killed Myrcella. You killed Tommen. No one would have touched them if Father was here, no one would have dared!"
—Cersei Lannister, Game of Thrones
"Dwarf A throws a tantrum, and punches Dwarf B. A recovers happily, but B throws a tantrum and smashes the butcher's workshop to bits. The butcher, C, tantrums and destroys the table of the closest noble, D. D tantrums, starting fights with three other dwarves—A, C, and E. All of them tantrum, and C is taken into custody. E gets busy and smacks B. Meanwhile, C is killed by the hammerdwarf, accidentally or otherwise. C's friends, F, G, H, I, J, and K, all tantrum and do other nasty things. Everybody eventually tantrums and the fortress production grinds to a halt. Everybody starves, throws themselves into a volcano, or otherwise dies."
"Running over to the choking Lucas, Nana smacked him in the back with her hammer, forcing the half-eaten pastry out and across the lunchroom, where it hit Luigi in the face.
"Aah! I'm blind!" he screamed, disoriented.
In a panic, he ran until he bumped into Mario, causing him throw a tray full of Super Mushrooms in the air, where they eventually landed on several Pikmin eating lunch with Olimar. This caused most of them to grow to gigantic proportions and stampede off in fear of what just happened. Seeing this, Fox spit out his hot coffee on Falco, who, in pain, ran in search for some water. As he ran around crazily, he accidentally stepped on Bowser's tail, causing him to set off a volley of fire in anger. Marth, Ike, and Link were discussing the fine art of swordplay when, all of a sudden, Link's tunic caught fire. In horror, he did the craziest dance to try and put it out, but only succeeded in setting Ike ablaze. Marth, not sure what to do, grabbed Squirtle to try and put him out, but missed and hit Donkey Kong, destroying his and Diddy's Super Supreme Banana Splits. Furious at their drenched lunch, the two apes threw banana peels in all directions, most hitting the floor. Samus just happened to be walking by with some cake and slipped on one, falling forward and slamming the dessert into Zelda's face. Fuming, she picked up what was left of it and tried to smash it into the bounty hunter's face, but she also slipped on a banana peel and fell over backwards on a walking cardboard box, sending it flying. While the box landed on Ness' head, Snake emerged and tried to get back under it, but the impact with Zelda set off one of his grenades, causing a huge explosion. Left with only a portion of the singed box, Snake stumbled backwards, hitting a vacant Jigglypuff. Wolf, who was laughing at the whole thing, got smacked in the stomach by her and fell backwards onto a table where Peach, Yoshi, and King Dedede were having pizza. His fall tipped the table and launched the food through the air until it smacked R.O.B. in the face. Short-circuiting, he ran amok, unintentionally attacking Mr. Game & Watch, who retaliated by using Judge. He managed to get a nine, but missed and hit Toon Link, sending him sailing across the room and into Captain Falcon, who lost his balance and shoved a loitering Ganondorf to the ground. Enraged, he tried to punch him for revenge, but Falcon grabbed an unsuspecting Sonic, using him for a shield. The punch connected, and Sonic slid across the floor, knocking over Meta Knight, whose sword was flung into the air. The blade stabbed Pit's wing to a table, causing him to scream bloody murder. His screech happened to be right in Lucario's ear, who punched him as hard as he could to get him to shut up. As he tried to regain his balance from the attack, Pit ran full force into Wario, who'd just finished eating a buffet of onions and garlic...
In the distance, one would've heard a faint explosion, accompanied by a mushroom cloud of noxious fumes.
- —"What Goes On, Chapter 5: All Donuts Are Evil"
[on a hellish day travelling to Washington D.C., started by an erroneous booking cancellation] Well, there are two options; a nonstop that gets you in at 5pm, three hours later than scheduled, or you can connect through Philadelphia, 45 minute layover, and get there at 3pm, only an hour later. And I was like, "That's great! Let's do the layover! What could possibly go-" Everyfuckingthing went wrong! Every goddamn fucking thing went wrong in Philadelphia! It. Was. So. Much. Fucking. Shit compounding on top of other shit, you had a pile of shit the size of Mt. fucking Everest at the end of this day.
—Jonathan Paula, Don't Fly @AmericanAir! - My Nightmare Travel Experience
But every little thing's a domino
That falls on different dots
And crashes into everything
That tries to make it stop
That falls on different dots
And crashes into everything
That tries to make it stop
—They Might Be Giants, "Nothing's Gonna Change My Clothes"
Mom:So how was your trip to the farm?
Little Girl: Oh it was ok, kinda boring I guess, until the cow started crying.
Mom: Why was the Cow crying?
Little Girl: Because a hay-bale fell on top of it.
Mom: Why did the hay-bale fall on top of the cow?
Little Girl: Because the farmer was too busy yelling at the pigs to get off our bus and crashed the tractor into it.
Mom: What were the pigs doing on the bus?
Little Girl: Eating our lunches.
Mom: Why were they eating your lunches?
Little Girl: Because we were throwing their corn at each other and they didn't have anything else to eat.
Mom: Why were you throwing the pigs' corn?
Little Girl: Because we ran out of eggs.
Mom: Out of eggs?! Why were you throwing eggs?
Little Girl: Because of the boa constrictor.
Little Girl: Yep, Jimmy's pet boa constrictor.
The Day Jimmys Boa Constrictor Ate The Wash