It's just terrible. You know it's terrible, I know it's terrible, we knew it was terrible from minute one, and it kept being terrible right up to the end. It's terrible, and it continues to be terrible, even after it's over, because a movie that never ends continues to suck by dint of it not ending. Thus, this movie is in an eternal state of suckiness, from which it can never escape. It is a black hole of entertainment, sucking the joy out of those who venture too close. We, the foolish few who dared to watch its horribleness, are left dry and withered as a result. There is an emptiness inside me and, I would guess, inside you; this emptiness comes from realization that we have lost a part of our lives by watching this. We have lost time, we have lost innocence, we have lost happiness, we have lost hope. We have stared into the abyss, and it started back at usó and we blinked first. This is a burden we must carry, a dread weight that hangs upon our hearts: We have watched Dingo Pictures' "Anastasia," and it has marked our very souls.
What is happening in my life?
When exactly did I become a human trash can in which people can throw whatever horrid thing?
You want to know what this is? This is the rapresentation of human fear. It's that fear of the unknown, described in Lovercraft's books. It's the Cthulhu...
Well, maybe not that bad, but it gets pretty close
—Italian youtuber Yotobi, with three Dingo Pictures videogames in hand, at the start of his "The Toys Room" review.
And as I am a generous person, I'd like to offer to you a retch
—The same youtuber as above, in the same review
And if you didn't already carve out your eyes with a kitchen knife, let's see what's in here
—Same as above. Actually, here's the full link of the review. It's in italian, though, so below there will be some translated quotes. Full video here
Let's introduce those toys... playthings.
We have the phone toy... you know, those ones they gave to your sister with light and sounds slightly annoying?
The pearled purple Game Boy with an everlasting erection. Was there really so much need to put the analog stick there?
The pillow toy, which is in fact... no, it's just a pillow. The great entertainments for all age groups! Mothers, the pillow has arrived! Make your children have fun with the most boring thing you have in your house! Wait a second... that means... I practically have a toy store in my house and I didn't even know!
Then there's one of Satan's sons, the "demonic clown which exits from a box". Probably the Hellraiser's...
The skateboard, with even a cap and sunglasses like the cool kids from the 90s...
And our protagonist: the ragdoll made with pieces of dead bodies and vomit, named Pino
—Yotobi, describing the toys
A german movie company called "Dingo Pictures" is behind this terrible creations. If you don't remember who Dingo Pictures is, or if you've never heard of them at all, then I recommend you to close this screen window, shut down your PC and smash your distribution board, so that you can never out of sheer curiosity look them up at Google by accident. If you are still watching, then you can fucking bear the blame yourself. Dingo Pictures is a movie company that produces absolutely worthless animated movies and they are almost always rip-offs of famous Disney movies such as Bambi or Pocahontas, so that parents of toddlers buy the wrong movie when they are buying something for their child. The budget is at about 2kr per movie and they re-use the same backgrounds, same characters and the same damn music in all their movies. Dingo Pictures is as if a blind ten-year-old, who is pretty good at drawing, got the control over a movie company and makes masses of copies of his favorite Disney movies. But it's not any ten-year-old, but Satan, Hitler and Stalin's bloodthirsty love child.
The movie I am going to review today is of course a rip-off of Disney's 'The Hunchback of Notre Dame'. All characters look as if they took them from the Disney movie and let them pass through a rhino's digestive system. If we take a look at the cover, we can see that they tried to do it as good as they can, so that people will think 'Well, it can't be worse than that, anyhow!' But yeah, let's just watch this shit and let's get it out of the way...
This is another movie by Dingo Pictures that I bought for 2 crowns in a second-hand shop. That's five thousand more than it's worth...
Dingo Pictures! Every time I see their VHS or DVDs it's like getting two sticky toilet brushs stuck in the eyes. And opening the case to take out the movie is like you've cut a hole in your stomach and you take out your own bowels with a red-hot fire iron! And if you're dumb enough to push the play button, you wish that you had a fire iron so that you could commit fucking seppuku! In short, it is hundred percent sheer damned shit. And unfortunately they've made lots of movies...
—Same youtuber as above about Animal Soccer