"It's in this chapter that we're introduced to the spider turret, a small, wall-mounted enemy that is very hard to spot and which can knock off all your health in two hits from two continents away. An enemy which can only have been designed by some kind of sinister conspiracy of sixteenth century Puritans working to eliminate the very concept of fun."
"That's what I'm really thankful for in this game: there are no spiders. Or if there are, they're harmless enough. There's always a tiny spider enemy that you have to struggle to hit. This game doesn't have that. No headcrabs, no spider monsters, just enemies that you can hit."
"Skree, skree. Skreek. SKREEK!"
— The titular Metroids
"Fuck these guys! Fuck these engineers right here, with the cameras? They shoot giant fuck-off lasers that hit you from across the goddamn map, and their melee attack tears all your health away. Just... fuck them! Fuck... them!"
Psychedelic Eyeball: Of course, they kept the worst section of the level for last, because these guys are...
Null Set: (in the middle of Psychedelic Eyeball's sentence) Oh... fuck these guys!
Psychedelic Eyeball: ...are fucking nightmares. Because, not only can they soak up a ton of damage, and you can't freeze them, they got this little... psychic-like attack where they hurt you from a distance and you can't do anything about it.
Tom: Right, uh, you've heard us bitch about this quite a lot, I believe, through the playthrough - might have mentioned it in an earlier part, but I can't remember. The enemies in this area - there is no word for how frustrating it is to fight them.
Helldragon: In a way, they're like genetically engineered bats that came in contact with metal...and became cars.
Helldragon: These dudes are gigantic douchebags. When they flail, they're like batshit insane, they're pretty much fucking invulnerable and they never stop attacking. You would think that hitting them in the face over and over would get 'em to back down, NO, these cars want your fucking ass.
"You know, with some practice, I could get through most of the game without getting hit once, but the problem IS THE FUCKING SNIPERS!"
Coach: Damn, baby. There be like three witches over there!
Nick: That's okay. Those five chargers in a row, five minutes ago, made me realize how fucked we are anyways.
Ellis: Look! Here comes another one!